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He stared at me then, not saying a word.

“You look like a man in love,” I murmured.

“Perhaps I am.”

We stayed like that for a while.

Then he spoke abruptly. “Much of these plans seem to involve a great deal of time with Eravic.”

I nodded. “Yes. He and Maridale are the reason for the Arrolyn to begin with."

"He is in love with you."

I looked away. "I do not know that."

“Arabar told me recently that Eravic spent a year clearing Tearsar of undead, searching for something. Now I understand that something was the Arrolyn. That is more than simple duty or affection.”

"Eravic is good," I said quietly. "I have no idea if he has feelings like that for me. But I will not lie to you." I paused. "We had an interaction once before."

Colsar frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The night before our wedding. He gave me my first kiss and my first—" My cheeks burned.

"You fucked him?" His voice was sharp in a way I had never heard it before.

"No. I did not fuck him. I was a virgin before we met. You licked the blood off me yourself." I could not hide the irritation from my voice.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"He kissed me because I asked him to. And he used his fingers on me."

"And that is the man I am supposed to be fine with you visiting every night?"

I looked at him. "Yes. I found Jessamy undressed near you twice since we have been married and you say you did not fuck her and I believe you." I pressed my breasts to his chest. "Look at me."

He looked at me.

"It is no secret there are men who want me just as there are women who want you. Kissing me once. Touching me there once. You cannot hold that against me. Even then I had not met you and I stopped things there because—" I stopped myself.

"Because what?"

"Because I wanted my husband to know that this part of me was for him and only him."

I looked at him. "It has been yours. You have had me in every possible way. I have given you two children. You owe me trust."

He nodded. "You are right. I cannot help my jealousy. And I will kill him if he touches you. Just like I will kill Teorin when I⁠—"

"You will not kill Teorin, Colsar. He is unwell and we both know it." I took his hand and pressed it to my lips. “Can we perhaps discuss your kill and revenge list another time?”

He nodded. "I love you," he said, his lips against my forehead. "I cannot believe you are here."

"Colsar. I want to ride you."

He looked at me, a small smile at his lips. "You can take me however you want. I certainly will not protest and you do not need to explain."

"The Arrolyn he placed in me," I said quietly. "It has only recently been placed, but I wonder if it has done something to my senses." I paused. "Or if I am just obsessed with you." I looked at him. "You smell so good. And I am sore and exhausted and yet I cannot help but want you again." A pause. "I want to fuck you until I can’t breathe or move or think.”

He lifted me up, helping me straddle him, and put his hands behind his head. "I will not flip us over,” he promised.