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Her mind constantly flew ahead, anticipating disaster and formulating plans.
“But if we think about it now, we’re less likely to make mistakes. We’ll be prepared.”
“It’s not an exam, and you can’t prepare for everything that happens in life.”
“I know. All I’m saying is that we think parenting is hard now, but I have a feeling that when they’re adults it might be even harder.”
He glanced in the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair. “And if it is, we will worry about it then and figure it out together.”
“Okay. But this issue with my parents is a problem right now. Today has been so much fun and also relaxing. We had nowhere to be and nothing in particular to do. No pressure and no expectations. We were able to just spend time with the girls. And it has made me realise that I can’t do this anymore. The thought of dealing with my parents is making my insides ache. I dread seeing them, which is crazy because I adore them and I love their company, but the moment I step through the door I know my mother is going to want to plan the next visit, and it just feels like pressure, pressure and more pressure. I’m going to talk to them. I’m going to explain how hard it is and see if we can find a way to do better because it casts a shadow over everything. I don’t think they know that I feel this way.”
He frowned. “Brooke—”
“I’m on edge the whole time trying to get the balance right. It’s so hard that part of me is relieved we’re not going to make it there for Christmas and for once it’s going to be just us. Our little family.”
“And Mabel, and Izzy and Jason. And also four cats.”
“Yes, but I’m not responsible for their happiness.”
“Hey, I’m a grown-up. You’re not responsible for my happiness, either,” he said softly, and she put her arms around him.
“I know that’s the theory, and I may not be responsible for your happiness, but I care about your happiness. Very much. When you’re hurt, I hurt.”
“Where is all this coming from?”
“I was interfering in Izzy’s love life, and it made me think about my own.”
He smiled and brushed her cheek with his fingers. “It must be hard being you. Most of us tuck our feelings away deep inside, but yours are right on the surface. Like some sort of coat.”
She laughed. “I wish I could hang it up for a while. That would be good. But seriously, Matt—I’m going to find the right time, and then I’m going to say something.”
“Right. Sounds good.” He kissed her gently and then headed for the door. “And now I need to get dressed for your dinner party. Apparently, I need to look my best so that I don’t destroy the romance of the occasion.”
He didn’t believe her. He didn’t believe that she ever would say anything to her parents. And she couldn’t really blame him for that, could she? For years she’d tiptoed around the problem, considering their feelings above everything else. She was determined to deal with it and not wait for things to get harder or, worse, beyond fixing.
“Mummy?” Elsie’s voice came from the bedroom and Brooke groaned.
“I thought she was asleep.”
“She probably heard you discussing her future rave in the Caribbean. She’s deciding what to wear.”
“You’re not funny.”
“I’m hilarious.” He opened the door that led to the bedroom that he and Brooke were using. “You settle her. I’ll get dressed and then we can swap.”
He closed the door behind him and she tiptoed quietly to see Elsie. She didn’t want Poppy to wake, too.
It had been an exciting day, and she was tired out.
Elsie was lying in the bed, Crumpet curled close to her on top of the covers. Brooke didn’t have the heart to move the cat. He’d been a comfort to Elsie, and right now that was her priority.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to carry on thinking about today.” Elsie sounded sleepy. “It was the best day of my whole life.”
Brooke felt her heart expand.
Forget wild partying in the Caribbean. There was no bigger high than your child’s happiness. “I’m pleased you had fun. You enjoyed writing your story?”
