Page 71

She missed his scolding and his positivity more than she’d imagined possible.

She looked at Brooke, expecting to see judgement but seeing only concern and sympathy.

“I’m sorry. I can’t begin to imagine how hard that must be for you.”

Her warmth and kindness unravelled something that Mabel had been holding tight inside her.

“It has been difficult.” It was an inadequate phrase to describe a pain that was beyond description. Losing contact with her daughter was a bereavement without a death. A parting without a goodbye. A deep-seated agony that never eased.

“We haven’t seen each other for eight years. I’ve never even met my granddaughter, although I picture her in my head. I imagine she has the same blue eyes as Chrissie. Do you want to hear something ridiculous? When you hammered on my door and I looked out of the window and saw that you were a family with a child, I thought for a wild moment that it might be them.”

Brooke’s eyes were swimming. “Mabel—”

“Which is foolish, because of course my daughter isn’t going to arrive on my doorstep unannounced. Why would she? She made it clear she wanted no contact with me ever again. And I accept that. But I do buy a turkey every year. Just in case. But she never comes. And I don’t blame her. It was my fault, all of it. My fault.” She fished a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose hard. “I have only myself to blame. I put far too much pressure on her. I put my needs before hers. So you see, I have a particular reason to understand your parents. And a particular reason to want you to be firm about doing what is right for you.”

21

Brooke

Brooke sat still, overwhelmed by Mabel’s confession. She tried to find the right words. What could she say? What comfort could she offer?

She didn’t believe for a moment that whatever had happened had been all Mabel’s fault. Life didn’t work that way. She imagined how her mother would feel if Brooke refused to see her and refused to let her see Elsie and Poppy. It would break her. And Brooke wouldn’t want that to happen, either. Even though she was often stressed by her mother, she loved her, and she knew how important family was.

“Mabel—”

“Happy Christmas Eve Eve!” The door to the library flew open and Izzy appeared hand in hand with Elsie and Poppy. “I found these two wanderers outside my room. I think they were looking for Santa, but they’re stuck with me instead.”

Knowing that the moment to speak had passed, Brooke gave Mabel’s hand a squeeze and stood up.

Thinking of the turkey in Mabel’s fridge made her want to sob, but she pulled herself together.

“What were you two doing in Izzy’s room?”

“We were looking for you.” Elsie peered at her. “Are you crying?”

“Me? Goodness, no. I’ve been hiding out in this wonderful library with Mabel.” Brooke scooped Poppy into her arms. “Where’s Daddy?” She would have liked to have finished the conversation with Mabel, but she knew that now the children were awake there was little chance of that happening.

“Daddy’s in the shower,” Elsie said. “I heard him singing.”

Although the conversation with Mabel had dampened her mood, Brooke smiled.

One day she was going to video Matt singing in the shower and play it back to him.

And for now, she was going to try not to think too hard about the lonely turkey waiting in the fridge or her heart might break for Mabel.

“Izzy said we could make decorations,” Elsie said. “Can we?” She picked up Crumpet, who had followed them into the room.

“If it’s all right with Mabel.” She reached out and stroked the cat, who promptly pressed himself closer to Elsie.

“It’s all right with me.” Mabel retrieved Brooke’s empty mug.

She was more composed than Brooke.

It was as if the conversation between them had never happened.

But it had happened, and Brooke promised herself that no matter what, she was going to do what she could to make sure that this Christmas was a happy one for Mabel. If she wanted to talk about the past then Brooke would listen. And if she didn’t, Brooke wouldn’t press.

But she was curious. She liked to think that couldn’t happen to her and her parents, but it had happened to Mabel. And presumably, there had been a time when Mabel would never have thought it possible, either.