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“You’re never relaxed when you’re thinking of your parents. It’s your mother that does this to you.”
“I know.” She eased away. “Which is why I insisted on carrying on, despite the storm. It’s too much. Even if there hadn’t been a storm, we should have had a night at the airport instead of trying to do it in one go.”
“It’s a long way to come. You wanted to spend the maximum time with them, and I get that, although I suspect that however long we spent wouldn’t be enough for your mother.”
She didn’t disagree.
“I can’t believe it has turned out so well. The house is gorgeous, and the girls seem happy. The cats are a hit. And Izzy and Jason seem great.”
“Yes. Jason is an interesting guy. I like him. And we’re both interested in renovating properties. We’re going to take a closer look at the library tomorrow to see what we can learn from it. It’s more of a garden room.”
“I’m glad you like him. It makes me feel a little less guilty about everything that led us here.” She bit her lip. “Are you very upset with me?”
His gaze slid to hers and he shook his head. “I’m worried about you. You turn into a different version of you when your parents are involved, whether it’s in person or on the phone.”
Tension slid down her spine. “What do you mean? A different version?”
“I don’t know—” He shrugged. “You’re not you. Or maybe I should say you’re a different you. You change.”
“You mean as if I’m a vampire or something?”
A muscle flickered in his jaw. “I wouldn’t exactly have said vampire.”
“What, then?”
“You’re just not you.”
“And now I feel even more pressure to be me at all times, and never be stressed about anything, and never admit to you that I’m stressed.” Her voice rose and he sighed.
“That’s not what I’m saying—” He lifted a hand and stroked her cheek. “Let’s not do this now. We’re both tired.”
She wanted to do it now. She knew she wouldn’t sleep if she didn’t. She needed to resolve it. “You don’t understand how hard it is for me.”
“I do, Brooke.” He sounded as tired as she felt. “It’s been this way since we first got together. It’s not easy for me, either, not only watching you stressed but also knowing how much they resent me.”
She felt the need to defend them. “They like you a lot, Matt.”
“I’m the guy who took their beloved daughter away from them, so we both know that’s not true. At best, they tolerate me. The moment we walk through the door your mother will be asking when we’re moving back here and isn’t it time for you to choose where we live. She’ll point out that you made a huge sacrifice by marrying me and perhaps it’s time I put you first.”
That was almost word for word what her mother had said.
“No matter what I do, I feel bad. I either feel guilty for hurting you, or I feel guilty for hurting them. There is literally no way I can win this. It’s emotionally exhausting.”
“I know. But it’s the same for me. I feel guilty, too. I’m the reason you’re in London.”
“That isn’t true.” She paused. “Well, it is true, I suppose, but I wasn’t coerced. It was my decision. It was what I wanted.”
“Have you ever said that to them?”
“What do you mean?”
He leaned against the wall. “I suppose I sometimes wish you’d draw a line, that’s all. Tell them that you’re in London because that was your choice. Not that you’re living there under sufferance for my sake. Show them that you have boundaries. They push and push because you let them.”
He had no idea what it was like, she thought. His parents were different. Yes, they were involved with their children, but they also had their own lives. Busy lives. And the life they lived hadn’t shrunk as their children had become independent adults. It had changed. Expanded.
Her parents’ lives had pretty much stayed the same. The only thing that was different was that she wasn’t now central to everything they did.
“They’re not getting any younger—”
