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“I’m the same, aren’t I? I’m turning into my mother.” She sat down hard on the edge of the bed, still clutching the pillow. “I said I was never going to do that. I promised myself I was always going to be chilled and flexible when it came to plans. I promised myself I wasn’t going to be the sort of person who puts pressure on everyone around them because I want things to go a certain way. And here I am, doing exactly that. I hate myself.”
“Hey, stop!” Matt sat down next to her and put his arm round her. “You’re tired, that’s all. And this whole situation is challenging on many levels.”
“Challenging is another word for crap, isn’t it?” She sniffed. “Do you think I’m turning into my mother?”
“I do not. Not that your mother isn’t a wonderful woman,” he said hastily, “but I agree she can be a little rigid in her approach to life. You’re not like that, Brooke. Yes, you’re a planner, but that’s a good thing.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. If it weren’t for your killer organisational skills and constant list making, none of us would have what we need when we need it. I know how much planning went into this trip. It’s because of you that we have winter boots, and all the presents and pyjamas—”
She gasped. “It’s all in the car. The cases are still in the car.”
“Along with Poppy’s Not-A-Cat. I know. I hadn’t forgotten. I’m still figuring out a way to deal with that. I’m going to enlist Jason. He looks like a strong guy. But that can wait. My point is that I would never be able to do what you do. My attention to detail isn’t good enough.”
The fact that he acknowledged it helped. Sometimes she felt as if no one saw what she did.
“I wish I could be more relaxed about it all.”
“You’re being hard on yourself. This is a stressful situation, Brooke. The drive was horrible. The accident was enough to shake anyone.”
“And that’s my fault. We were only on the road because I didn’t want to call my mother and tell her it wasn’t safe to continue the journey.” Her vision blurred with tears and she blinked rapidly. She couldn’t allow herself to break down.
“I’m sorry, too.” Matt checked Poppy was still asleep. “I’m sorry I was snappy in the car.”
“Not your fault.” Brooke sniffed and put her head on his shoulder. “I made a stupid decision. We should have stayed at the airport. You were right about that.”
“Maybe not.” Matt shrugged. “We can joke about it but you’re right that the airport would have been miserable. Imagine spending Christmas there.”
Brooke was struggling to imagine spending Christmas here.
Yes, it was a lovely house, but there was nothing whatever to hint at the fact it was the festive season. Apart from the snow outside the windows it could have been any day of the year.
“What are we going to do, Matt? How are we going to make this okay for the girls? I know there are far worse things in life than having one bad Christmas, but I can’t bear the idea of doing nothing.”
“We’re not going to do nothing. We’ll figure something out.”
“What? It’s not as if we can go outside and cut down a tree.”
“If Jason and I can plough through that storm to the car then hopefully I can retrieve a tin of dented shortbread.”
She gave a hysterical laugh. “It’s not worth risking your life for a gift basket.”
“That,” he said, “would depend entirely on what’s in the basket. I remember complaining about how big it was when you picked it up. There was barely room in the car. Please tell me there is something edible in it and it’s not a big box filled with packaging straw.”
She gave a weak smile. “It has everything. But it’s for my parents.”
“Mmm. Without wanting to rub it in, our need is greater. I have no idea what food Mabel has tucked away in that kitchen, but I doubt she was planning to host Christmas for seven.”
“And the four cats. Don’t forget the four cats.”
“How can I forget? Elsie has all but adopted the black one.”
“They’re all black.”
“Good point. Anyway, no matter how bad it gets we’re not eating cat food. I draw the line at that.”
Brooke sighed. “I want to be one of those people who creates the perfect Christmas out of nothing. I want to be more like Izzy. Did you see her face? She didn’t seem to mind about staying here. She took it all in her stride. She looked almost happy.”
