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He completed his smile.

He completed her.

Though his sheepish look told her there was more to say.

‘I can’t believe I left you like that without a goodbye or explanation.’ He stepped tantalizingly close. He smelt of cinnamon and velvet, and she wanted to inhale him.

‘Can you do the explaining bit quickly?’ she half-joked, almost sure nothing would ruin this moment.

‘I freaked out.’ His shoulders rose and fell. ‘But that was no excuse to pack my bags and move on, like the Shay of old. I’m changing now. I don’t want to be the guy with no roots.’

Thank goodness. She wanted to shout, ‘Plant yourself here!’ and get Spirit to hurry over with the compost. But she sensed this wasn’t yet the moment. He’d barely put down his bag.

‘So what spooked you?’ Noémi asked gently, her fingers finding her way to his curls because she couldn’t resist touching him.

‘A couple of things – the first being me. I was scared to let you down. Terrified I’d have to leave you and that might hurt you deeply, when you’d worked so hard to protect yourself from pain.’

‘But you’d decided to stay for a while?’

Her fingers trailed to the back of his neck, and he let out a small sigh.

‘I can decide all I like. But what if my health decides differently? What if my body lets us down?’

She pulled him in closer, one hand moving to his chest. ‘You’re worried you’ll have another heart scare?’ She could feel his beating, and it was strong. She trusted it as much as she could trust anyone’s.

‘I thought I was having another heart scare. And that you deserved someone with a decent hope of living a long, committed life with you. Not someone who might leave when they got restless or … worse. I know what Daniel went through with losing Asher, though I can barely imagine the despair of it. I don’t ever want to put you through that.’

‘Something happened with your heart?’ Hers tightened at the thought, her fingers curling into his waistcoat.

He gave a bashful smile. ‘I’m an eejit, is what happened. I got my brother-in-law to check me over when I got back to Ireland. He’s a cardiologist. He said whatever I’d been feeling was either lovesickness or indigestion. My heart’s in the best shape it’s ever been.’

Noémi let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, her body sinking into him, his arms wrapping tightly around her. She let out a sob into his chest, which would probably ruin his nice outfit. He stroked the top of her head, kissing her hair gently.

‘Why didn’t you just say?’ she asked, content to be cradled against him, relieved he was here and well.

‘I thought if I severed the ties, it would help you like me less and hate me more. I was naively trying to make me leaving easier for you to bear.’

‘Well, it didn’t. So please don’t do that again. You’re the one who encouraged me to live life, instead of just reading about it. And that means feeling all of it, not just the good bits. If we want to have a relationship that weathers all storms, I need to embrace the wind. That’s if you want a relationship?’

She pulled back a touch so she could look into his eyes. Deep and smooth with a gloss like melting chocolate.

‘Of course. In fact, my ma all but kicked me out of the country, saying I’d wreck myself with heartbreak if I didn’t come and fight for you. I mean, I’ll miss her trying to feed me up with three types of potato and the good biscuits. But I’m probably safer with you.’ He winked.

Something rang a vague bell with three types of potato and the good biscuits, but right then, she just wanted to kiss him. So, she did. Though it was far briefer than she’d hoped for, with a distant voice yelling about whether they wanted roast-veg samosas, and another asking if they were done wrapping presents.

Noémi smiled up at Shay, her eyes crinkling. ‘What was the second thing that spooked you?’ she asked, suddenly remembering.

His hand moved to the back of his neck, a sudden itch seeming to bother him. ‘About that.’

Chapter 54

‘Erm. If I’m honest …’ Shay continued to rub the back of his neck as though a festive genie might pop out of his head. ‘The second thing that spooked me was you admitting that you love me.’ He winced.

‘Gee, thanks.’ Noémi gave him a playful swipe. ‘Though … I don’t think I did?’ Now she came to think of it, she’d been careful not to. She’d wanted to thrust open her windows and scream it to the world. But not wanting to run before she could walk, she’d almost kept it to herself.

‘You didn’t say it so much as …’ He gulped. ‘Type it.’

‘Oh, I do have this online friend.’ She flapped a hand, feeling a touch guilty. There was a time she thought she’d had feelings for Fantasy Man, but since she’d met Shay, it was clear she couldn’t have. And she hadn’t been in touch with him for days. Shay couldn’t have accidentally seen her messages to him, could he? He hadn’t been around when she’d typed that. She started to feel flustered.