Page 82

There’s something I need to say, and I’m not sure there’s anyone here who I can say it to (without a load of wolf-whistling, or someone calling the doctor).

I’M IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes – ALLLLLL the capital letters and excessive exclamation marks.) I’M BURSTING WITH IT!

And yes, it feels petrifying – not least because a close friend lost his husband. That was such a dark time for us, and I’m honestly not sure my heart would take it if I lost this person. (And the chances are high – because he may not stick around.)

But anyway! Surely everything will be fine. Don’t you think? I’m just going to enjoy this moment and stop obsessing over the future. Most people don’t lose their partners so tragically. And if the worst that could happen is that this person moves on to their next adventure, then I’ll have to wish them well and deal with the fallout. Maybe lock myself away and ugly cry over Jojo Moyes’s Me Before You, while eating my bodyweight in biscuits and vowing never to love again. (I’m not selling this, am I?!)

No, let’s rewind a bit. I’M IN LOVE! (But I definitely won’t tell him. Too soon. Too weird. I’m already sounding a bit unhinged, aren’t I?)

Let’s live for the moment. (Can’t wait to see him tonight.) Maybe he’ll stay over. (Maybe he’ll move in?!) No, no. Scratch that! One day at a time, one day at a time.

How are things with you?

Noémi didn’t expect to hear from Fantasy Man straight away. He was probably busy. She was surprised to see that her message was opened straight away. Whoever was on the other end began typing something, because the three ‘pending’ dots appeared.

And then they disappeared.

Then appeared again. That went on for ten minutes or so before Fantasy Man logged off without replying. Something must have pulled him away. Life was busy. Perhaps he was working, or on the run. She might hear from him later. Or not. She didn’t much mind anymore, other than she wished him well and hoped he was as gloriously contented as she was. There was only one man she wanted to spend her time with now. Her real-life time. And Shay would be back that evening to curl up with her. Having his arms around her was the best feeling in the world.

Though for now, she needed to get ready and take charge in her shop. She had customers to talk to and festive events to plan. And she couldn’t possibly have been any happier.

Chapter 48

Noémi checked the clock again as she sat on the sofa in her bookshop after closing time. Shay had definitely said 7 p.m., and he wasn’t usually late. She’d baked healthy(ish) cranberry and orange cookies. She had a stack of the latest bestselling reads she wanted to show him. And if he wanted a touch of exercise, in the interests of heart health and counteracting the calories, she was more than interested in exploring the possibilities. She’d washed her bedsheets and plumped her pillows in full preparation. She might even have made sure her underwear was matching. Though her mother had always insisted you should do that every day, in case of doctor-related emergencies.

‘Quarter past seven. Still early,’ she said to Wanderer, as she began pacing the carpet and rearranging books. She really must get her a fishy friend. She’d been so wrapped up in her own antics that she’d completely forgotten. At least Daniel had been feeding her, and Felix wasn’t around to cause any overfeeding disasters. ‘Too early to message. Perhaps I’ll do a spot of dusting.’

Her favourite place for superfluous cleaning would always be the shop window, which just happened to double as a good lookout point – if you were that sort of person. Which she wasn’t. Much.

Though another ten minutes passed, the bookshop window was no longer dusty, and there was nothing much to see. Though had her blackboard disappeared? She squinted. She couldn’t spy it out there and they rarely brought it in. It was meant to be advertising tomorrow’s singles night and the Christmas Eve extravaganza in just five days. She hoped it would be back soon, preferably not scrawled with something cheeky.

Noémi sat again, though her Christmas tea was cold and she couldn’t manage to settle into a book. She checked the clock ten more times. Another fifteen minutes passed. Well, she really should message him now. What if something dreadful had happened? Her already sinking heart took an extra dive. No. It was unlikely, even if the Christmas period had once felt ominous. She typed out a quick message on her phone.

Noémi:

All OK? I think we said 7 p.m., but no worries if you’re busy! Just let me know that you’re all right. X

She typed something about missing him, then deleted that bit before pressing send. She did miss him, like a part of her body had been sawn off. Not that she knew what that felt like, other than having occasionally read about it in gory fiction books.

But according to the greyed-out tick next to her message, it hadn’t been received by Shay’s phone. Was he somewhere with no reception? Or had he turned off his phone? But why? Her mind began speeding through options. Could she walk to the pub to see if his van was safely parked? Or she could call Delilah to check for her. Or she could risk more mentions of the word DILF by calling the care home to see if he was still with his granddad. Though Arthur was probably tucked up in his cotton pyjamas by now and visiting hours would have long since finished.

Noémi moved back to the window. None of Shay’s equipment was out there, though she knew he’d put the tubing stuff away before their trip. He was due to start arranging his next local adventure and had talked about sourcing giant, padded sumo suits with a festive theme for outdoor wrestling. Though now she thought of it, she hadn’t seen him making preparations or drumming up interest in the street yet.

She blew out a frustrated sigh. Ringing around after him was stalkerish. Shay was flighty enough, without her playing the clingy wannabe girlfriend after a few kisses and a reasonably chaste mini-break. If he’d fallen off his bike or sprained a muscle playing dominoes, she would have heard about it. Perhaps he was so worn out from all the driving that he’d nodded off. He might have snuggled up in his van with a good book and fallen into a lovely, dreamy sleep. She did that all the time.

Yes, that made perfect sense. In fact, she might just do the same. It was nearly eight o’clock already. She would burrow down in bed, grab a festive romcom novel, then fall asleep to thoughts of sleigh bells and small-town banter. Tomorrow she would check in on Shay and make sure all was well. There was no obvious reason it wouldn’t be.

Chapter 49

5 days until Christmas

The next morning when Noémi drew back her bedroom curtains and looked out, the snow had receded even further. Something in the air had changed and it was melting. Not a sign. Snow was just snow.

Talking of signs. Her eyes narrowed. The shop’s blackboard was back. She couldn’t quite read what it said, but she could tell her list of events had been scrubbed off and replaced by something which was not in her handwriting. Well, she wasn’t going to run outside in her pigs-in-blankets pyjamas to inspect the thing. She swiped the curtains shut.

Noémi didn’t usually believe in starting her day by staring at screens when books were available, but something told her this wasn’t a normal morning. She grabbed her phone. Still nothing from Shay, but he had opened her message. She blew out a small sigh of relief, even if he’d not responded. He was OK. He was just choosing to be OK somewhere else. Bloody brilliant.

She clicked onto Never the Twain. Still nothing from Fantasy Man. What on earth had she done to inadvertently ostracize everyone in the space of a few hours?