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She shuffled to standing and pulled him up. ‘I used to be reasonable, back when Mum would take me. For once, I might skate circles around you.’

They continued their gentle walk, fingers intertwined, before suddenly Noémi got a sense of something.

Her feet came to a halt.

Beyond the buildings in the distance, the powdery white snow seemed to end into a vast nothingness. Had they driven as far as the coast? Her muscled stiffened.

‘Is that … a cliff?’ She heard the words tremble and crack through the icy air. She hadn’t been near the coast since the hiking trip with Daniel and Asher two Decembers ago. The Fall. It hadn’t been snowy then, but it had nearly been Christmas. And as much as she and Daniel had promised each other not to dwell on bad memories this year, she hadn’t been expecting to run into such a stark reminder.

‘Is everything OK?’ Shay turned to her, his eyes leaden with concern. ‘Are you worried about heights? We’re not going anywhere near the cliffs. And whatever happens, I’ve got you.’

She could feel her own eyes brimming with tears. For Daniel’s loss of Asher. For the heart-wrenching months that had followed. For the way she had allowed that saddest of tales to keep her stuck, as she was right then, on a path between past and future.

It wasn’t even falling that she was afraid of. Or the sea, or the rocks. It was loving too hard and losing everything – by dancing too close to the edge.

She hadn’t told Shay about what had happened to Asher, and it was unlikely Daniel would have. All at once, she knew she would confide in Shay, at some point. She needed to. There was a tiny cage door in her heart that was beginning to open, and a trapped bird that deserved to fly.

Shay pulled off his gloves, his thumb lightly sweeping her falling tears. Though strangely, they weren’t heavy ones. They felt like relief and release all at once. She had the strong sense that she wanted to hold hands and walk, without overthinking it. That with Shay by her side, she was safe here.

He had got her. If only for this short, sweet time.

And she would talk about the past, even though she hadn’t planned to. Maybe later, in the quiet warmth of the van, or on the long drive home. For now, she just wanted to be here, with Shay, and to appreciate the hell out of this moment. History and her fears had already claimed too much.

‘Thank you for bringing me here,’ she said simply. ‘And yes, I will be OK. I promise you. Let’s walk.’

He nodded and took her hand again. ‘Though any time you want to talk, I’m a great listener. Don’t let the elf ears fool you.’

She welcomed the laugh that escaped her. This time with Shay was exactly the medicine she needed.

Chapter 44

‘I’m surprised you chose an ice-skating date, when you’re so monumentally poor on ice-skates.’ Noémi laughed as she carved figures of eight on the ice while Shay sat on his bottom, where he’d spent most of his time since they’d slid onto the rink.

Though Noémi had to admit, if she wanted to create new Christmas memories to replace the sad ones, and to forget her bookshop anxieties for a short while, this was exactly the tonic. The skating rink was in a large marquee, with three sides sheltered from the elements and one side open to look out onto the snowy landscape and the distant, still sea. The marquee was decorated with Christmas trees and strings of silver lights, and they had the rink to themselves before the place opened. The view was exquisite: snowflakes drifted onto the wide expanse of water, which lay glassy and serene beyond their safe cocoon.

Not for the first time that morning, Noémi steadied her legs and held out her hands to help Shay up.

‘I’m just glad I didn’t waste my time drying my backside under the hand dryer earlier. Though you might have to put up with me wearing a reindeer onesie later if I can’t find any clean jeans.’

‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

Shay wobbled to standing, giving her a grateful look and holding her hand as she guided him around the ice.

‘It’s unusual to see you off balance.’ Noémi tried not to be too swishy with her footwork in case she toppled him again.

‘Are you j-joking?’ he replied, almost stumbling. ‘The first few times I met you, your presence made me so jittery I couldn’t stop dropping things. Honestly. I was worried about myself.’

Her laugh seemed to bounce across the ice and get lost in the background song about mistletoe that made her want to kiss him.

‘I’m sorry I was so harsh on you,’ she said earnestly. ‘In my head, you and your shop were my nemeses. I’ve been under pressure to rescue the bookshop and I overreacted. A lot.’

‘No bother. I guess I can be quite annoying.’ He chuckled. ‘Do you think you’re managing to save the place? It seems to be buzzing.’

‘It’s early days, in the grand scheme of things. But if trade keeps improving like it has been, I pray we’ll have a fighting chance. This coming week will be hugely important.’ If they couldn’t bring in decent numbers during the last panic-shopping week before Christmas, when could they? And every penny counted when she factored in the monthly fees for keeping her mum safe at Happy Hedges. ‘Dare I say, you showing up lit a rocket under me to get brave and make changes.’

‘Then it was worth our clashing. Some might say I enjoyed it.’ He gave her a nudge and nearly tumbled himself sideways.

‘Shall I guide you to the edge?’