Page 27

Chapter 15

And for today’s absurd outfit. Noémi inwardly groaned as Shay stepped fully into the shop.

He was dressed in a reindeer ensemble, consisting of a brown fluffy onesie with antlers and a red nose on the hood. It was clearly too small for him in the leg department, pulling tight around the muscles of his thighs and riding up above his ankles, though he’d tried to style it out with strange Eighties leg warmers. He was carrying a heavy A-board under one arm as though it was weightless. They ought to have been gawping at him, though when he caught sight of Noémi, it was his mouth that was open. He hadn’t even finished his annoying not-so-Irish greeting. The door tinkled shut behind him, another gust of air making the log fire crackle.

Noémi felt her cheeks flame. Did she look that bedraggled? She made to pull the dress away from her, but he flapped his free hand.

‘Don’t be put off on my account. You look …’

It was almost comical that he was standing by Wanderer’s tank, looking just about as goggle-eyed and lost for words as her fish. She wasn’t sure why the whole room seemed to be holding its breath, or why, as her eyes locked with Shay’s, something almost sizzled in the air between them. Nor why her hands were becoming so clammy.

She shook her head. Air didn’t sizzle unless you were cooking sausages or your electrics were dodgy. Was this dress possessed?

‘Stunning,’ Shay said quietly, as though he wasn’t quite in control of his words.

Daniel let out a sort of lovesick whimper and Noémi shot him a look.

‘I mean, good. Grand. Nice,’ Shay corrected quickly, this time flapping both hands and promptly dropping the heavy blackboard onto his foot. ‘Shite.’

‘Bloody hell,’ said Daniel, jumping up to help.

Felix and Prisha made similar sympathetic sounds, and even Noémi felt a bit sorry for him – though he had an odd habit of dropping things. She took the moment of distraction to carefully fold the dress back into its box.

Daniel tried to usher Shay to a chair, even if Noémi suspected that he was using it as an excuse to cling onto his biceps. But as usual, Shay was keen to stay on the move. He angled his blackboard towards them.

‘Now that’s what I came to tell you,’ said Prisha, pointing at it. ‘Baby brain!’

‘Anyone know why I suddenly have a blackboard outside my shop, or why it says this?’

Daniel read it out. ‘Come fly with me in funny wings. Or stay in your armchair and miss life’s fun things.’

‘Somebody who thinks they’re hilarious,’ said Noémi. ‘It certainly wasn’t me. You can’t beat an armchair.’

‘Funny wings. What a cheek. I made those,’ said Prisha.

‘The blackboards are too heavy for me,’ said Felix. ‘It will be one of those teens from the youth club. They’re built like oxen, this next generation.’

‘I reckon it’s the Tequila Jammers,’ said Daniel, referring to the group of women, headed up by relatively quiet Crochet Catherine. They gathered regularly at the village hall, supposedly to make jam while responsibly sampling tequila, though there was never much evidence of either. Noémi secretly believed they were up to something else entirely – though she hadn’t fathomed what. Could they be into chalkboard graffiti? ‘You’ve got to watch that rowdy bunch.’

Whatever they did in that hall, they often used Carrie Hot Spoons as their bouncer, and they certainly made a lot of noise.

‘Are you sure it wasn’t you?’ Noémi directed the question at Shay. ‘That seems to be your message.’

Shay looked around the shop, seeming to notice his surroundings for the first time. To her knowledge, he hadn’t been in before. The people who did – when she had customers – were usually bookish types who would swoon over book spines and relish getting lost in the labyrinth of stories and make-believe. She couldn’t read Shay’s face. ‘I don’t have time to sit around painting blackboards,’ he joked.

Noémi wondered what kept him perpetually moving.

‘Just another of the village’s little mysteries,’ said Daniel. ‘You’ll get used to them.’

‘I won’t be around for long.’ Shay shrugged and then checked his fitness watch. ‘Would you look at that – I’m down on my steps today. I’ll leave you good people to it. Unless I can interest you in my reindeer trek through Whispertree Woods? Might even throw in some fire jugglers, if I can arrange it.’

Noémi baulked. Had this man lost his marbles? ‘It’s not safe to be trekking around in those woods. And fire juggling near trees? Have you thought this through? Not to mention that you’re particularly clumsy.’

‘Oh,’ said Shay, looking surprised. ‘I’m actually not clumsy at all, most of the time. It’s just …’ His voice trailed off. ‘Anyway, I’d hire professionals for any juggling, and I’ve mapped out the route and considered safety.’

‘Well, you won’t talk me into your perilous escapades, so you should save your energy.’ Noémi did her best to sound polite but firm.

‘There’s probably more danger in this shop than on one of my meticulously organized adventures. Didn’t you two nearly break your backsides toppling over an armchair the other day?’ Shay flashed his charm-offensive teeth at Noémi and Daniel. ‘That was quite the red-light-themed window display.’