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Seraphina flopped onto a chair, wrapped her arms around herself, and kept her gaze down, certain that making eye contact with Letitia would shatter her control and start her crying in earnest. “Mr. Emerson visited me today.”

“And he said or did something that upset you this much?”

She nodded. “He knows about the medicine. He says that one of his footman’s nephews used it and had a bad reaction. What if I haven’t been helping people all this time? What if I’ve only been making it worse?”

Letitia huffed. “You shouldn’t believe anything that rat says. He’s nasty, and I bet he only told you that because he wants something. He has a plan.”

Seraphina shuddered, remembering exactly what his plan was. “He threatened to tell people about me if I don’t marry him.” Her right eye welled over and salty liquid streamed down her cheek. The left one quickly followed suit.

Letitia rested her hand over Seraphina’s. “Are these tears because you’re worried he was telling the truth or because of the ultimatum?”

Seraphina considered that. “Both.” She swiped at her tears, blinking rapidly, struggling to get her emotions under control. “I only wanted to help people like Mother who can’t get the medication they need. I can’t stand the idea that my medicine might have caused even more pain.”

“I don’t think it has.” Letitia squeezed her hand. “You’re careful. You were able to find impurities in the quinine from multiple apothecaries. Yours is much better. It’s possible I’m wrong, but in my opinion, he’s lying to manipulate you. He knows that if you believe one thing he says, you’re more likely to believe other things too. He’s correct about your secret activities, but that doesn’t mean he’s right about everything else.”

“I want to believe that. The idea of marrying Mr. Emerson makes me want to scream. He’d ensure I never have the opportunity to work in the lab again.” More tears came, and she mentally scolded herself. Falling apart wasn’t going to solve anything. Unfortunately, she didn’t seem able to stop.

“And think about what that would do to Trevor,” Letitia said.

Trevor.

Seraphina’s heart fell. “I want to marry Trevor. I hate the idea of ending our betrothal. I’m sure he would take it as a sign that he somehow isn’t good enough, and nothing could be further from the truth.” She groaned, recalling the man she’d seen as they left the park. “Lord Sylvestor saw us together, so even if I don’t say anything to Trevor, the baron might. Lord, is it selfish of me that I want to marry Trevor even though I know what this could do to his reputation?”

Letitia scooted nearer, closing the distance between them and providing a sense of comfort that Seraphina didn’t think she deserved. “You aren’t being selfish. Your feelings are perfectly understandable. Mr. Emerson is the blackmailing monster. He’s the one who ought to be ashamed of himself.” She hesitated, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. “Do you actually think your medicine could be bad?”

Instinctively, Seraphina scoffed. “It’s better than a lot of the overpriced rot that gets sold at apothecaries.”

“There you go, then. No need to worry.”

“I can’t help worrying, though. I’m confident in my technique, but all it would take is for me to make a mistake just once.” She sighed and massaged her temples. “Could you have paper and ink brought to me, please? I need to write to my contact to let them know to be aware of potential side effects.”

“If that’s what you think is best.”

Letitia left the room, and Seraphina went to the writing desk in the corner and sat behind it, her shoulders drooping. When her friend returned with paper, a quill, and an inkpot, Seraphina thanked her and addressed the letter to her contact, then hesitated, unsure of exactly what to say.

She was overly aware of Letitia hovering nearby but did her best to concentrate on choosing the right words to convey her concern without leaning too heavily into the possibility of something being amiss and thereby ensuring the medicine wasn’t used, which might mean people would die.

In the end, she simply advised her contact that the medicine may have side effects, but that this hadn’t been confirmed. She suggested that they ensure people with the most severe malarial symptoms were given access to the quinine but that they ought to be told of the risk so they could make an informed decision about whether to use it.

She signed her name at the bottom, waited for the ink to dry, folded the paper, and passed it to Letitia. “Can you arrange for this to be delivered, please?”

Letitia summoned a servant and passed the letter over with instructions for its delivery.

That done, Letitia lowered herself onto the chaise, and Seraphina joined her, feeling as if she had aged ten years in the past hour. Her bones ached, her head was stuffy from crying, and her heart felt unusually heavy.

“What now?” Letitia asked.

Seraphina buried her face in her hands. “I don’t know.”

Letitia shuffled closer and slung an arm around Seraphina’s shoulders, drawing her into an awkward sideways embrace that couldn’t have been comfortable for either of them, but neither one made a move to pull away.

“Well, why don’t we look at the possibilities?” she suggested.

“All right.” Seraphina closed her eyes, soaking in the comfort of her friend’s nearness. “The most obvious option is that I do what Mr. Emerson asked. End my betrothal with Trevor and marry him.”

Letitia scoffed. “That’s not a real option. He’ll crush your spirit, and poor Trevor would be heartbroken.”

“But if I don’t, then he’ll tell everyone what I’ve been doing. In the best possible scenario, I’ll be shunned, and Trevor might decide not to marry me anyway. He can’t have a social outcast as his countess.”