Page 24

~ GRACE ~

It was a good plan. I could see that he was right—and he would win. But he was terrified. He stared at me, expressionless, but the bond churned. One moment with rage, the next with fear.

I made him speak it.

Fear that my fear would overcome me and I’d flee him the moment he left me.

Fear that his mother, who had grown in power in the intervening years, was one step ahead of him and lay in wait with a trap he hadn’t foreseen.

Fear that, no matter how well he deceived them, one of these Cruors would take me from him.

‘This won’t be quick, or simple, Grace. To convince them that I’m still one of them and press them to give me the Dominus… it’s going to be dark.’

‘And you can do it,’ I sent simply.

He shook his head. ‘Not alone, I can’t. Not without you. I wouldn’t be here, Grace. I’d never have stood in these people’s presence if I could have avoided it and kept you safe.’

‘I’m safe because you’re here and—’

‘Grace… There is no mercy in them, you understand? No goodness at all. And if they learn I’ve deceived them, if they even suspect that you’re not all they believe… we’re both at risk. All of us…’ Then he touched my stomach and I sucked in. We both stared at that place where he touched me. Where, perhaps, our love grew…

I swallowed hard. ‘Will you be upset if… if I am? If there’s a baby?’

He shivered. ‘No, Grace. I’d be terrified. Everything I’ve told you… it’s what my mother would want for any child of mine. Perhaps even more than she did for me. You understand?’

I nodded, a fierce, spiky anger coursing through me at the thought of Voski as a child, of our child, being so desperately hurt.

I flattened my hand over his and pressed down, meeting his gaze. ‘If I’d known… if I could have, I would have come. I would have fought for you,’ I told him earnestly. His eyes began to shine, but I didn’t stop. ‘I’ll never let her have our child, Voski. I’d do anything to keep both of you safe. Anything.’

‘God, you’re incredible.’

I shook my head. ‘No, I’m just angry. I want to fight. Tell me how. I’ll do it.’

He made a small, broken sound in his throat, tipped my chin up and kissed me. We pressed together, both exhaling heavily. And when he broke the kiss, I dropped my forehead to his chest. I opened my heart wide, held that cord between us, feeding him the rush of my love, my need, my belief in him.

His breath shook. His hands tight on my sides.

‘You have to promise you’ll tell me if it becomes too much,’ he sent. He was steadying. When I looked up, he no longer shied from meeting my eyes.

‘I will,’ I assured him. ‘I’ll tell you to tend the flame. I haven’t forgotten. But I won’t need to. You’re not that man anymore, Voski. I know it. I think you need to prove it to yourself.’

‘Do you understand, though, Grace? They have to believe that I am still that man. Only more fully. That I have embraced the power.’

‘I know—’

‘No, please, listen to me: I will be a monster. You’ll see. The man I would have been—’

I put a hand to his face to stop him. ‘I understand. It’s going to be ugly.’ I let that hand drop to his chest, laying my palm right at the center, where the bond thrummed. ‘I’m grateful for this, because I can feel you there. I won’t lose sight of who you are, even if you do. If you forget, or you’re afraid, you come to me.’

His jaw went slack and he shook his head slowly. ‘Grace… why are you willing to walk through this? I never earned your devotion—’

‘I love you. I’ve waited for you. And I desperately want to see you free of this. Of them. I want you to see yourself as I see you.’

He huffed. ‘Maybe you’re the one who’s deceived?’ he sent bitterly. ‘Maybe this will just show you—’

‘Stop. Do you talk like this with Kham?’

His lips tightened. ‘Yes.’