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And even though I broke down again, and hated him for that, something shifted inside me from that night on.

I would always fight the urge to isolate and solve my problems alone. But I stopped carrying the weight, the fear, the resentment that I had to.

And even with the grief, even watching my mate fall apart, even carrying that burden again myself… I swore I’d never go back.

The Seventh Squadron

~ GRACE (four weeks later) ~

I stood in one of the large training halls of the castle, in flight leathers. The room was massive: high ceiling and stone walls. But here, on the ground floor, the westernmost wing and surrounding land was set aside for the training and testing of the castle guards. Voski hadn’t wanted Terra to take me to the Keep if I wouldn’t be allowed to stay, so they’d brought me here, where the massive room—easily large enough for a royal ball—was half gym, half training ground. There were thick ladders against the wall, to climb to a platform near the ceiling—as if attacking a turret. Weapons were collected in the back corner. There was even a circular ring roped off, where Terra explained that the guards in training often fought or practiced combat.

I’d been thrilled, hoping they’d be here training when we came, and I could watch. But alas, we were the only ones in the space this morning.

Thick bands of sunlight poured through the large, triple-peaked windows spread at regular intervals on the two external walls, to illuminate the wooden floor, and ease the shadows at the back of the hall.

There were wide spaces with no equipment, and I’d already had to run sprints, do push-ups and other exercises we’d use for strengthening in training. Terra assured me I was doing great. And though I was more easily winded than I had been before I left Vosgaarde, my body felt good. I wasn’t feeling pain.

Which meant, I would be allowed to undertake the final test that she felt was necessary before I could be cleared to begin training, and fly again.

I stood near the wall, Terra at my side, both of us watching Gil and Voski climb one of the ladders to secure harness training straps to the thick, brass rings near the ceiling.

“I could have just climbed one of the ropes,” I murmured to Terra, tipping my head toward the three thick ropes that dangled from the ceiling at the other end of the hall. “It would be harder than mounting a dragon.”

“I know,” she replied quietly. “But Voski was hovering like a mother hen when you did the drills. If I didn’t give them something to do, I fear he might have burst out of his skin before I could clear you.”

I bit my lip to stifle a smile. “He is very worried that I’m moving too quickly.”

Terra turned to look at me. “Do you feel like you’re moving too fast? Not every aspect of healing is physical, Grace. Even if your body doesn’t pain you, there is an argument to—”

“No,” I said—and meant it. “I’m ready. I’ve been ready. This is what I’ve always wanted. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Terra nodded, then glanced at the two men, standing at the top of ladders, Gil securing a harness mounting strap, while Voski watched on, and gave instructions. When she turned to me, she lowered her voice further, though we’d already been speaking too low for them to hear from here.

“Perhaps, while your mother hen is otherwise occupied, this is a good time to give you a warning?” she asked me carefully.

I looked up at the woman, with her hair tightly braided, and the fine lines around her eyes, and felt a rush of gratitude that she was so thoughtful. “It’s the best time,” I agreed.

Terra nodded. “I believe you’ll pass this last test—if they ever assure themselves that the strap is secure,” she said dryly. “But even if there’s no pain, it’s likely your body continues to heal. Grace, if after you return to training you begin to bleed, or cramp any time in the next two weeks… come see me? Even if you think it’s only the beginning of your courses.”

“I will.” I let my gaze travel back to the men because it wasn’t an easy subject and meeting her eyes felt especially vulnerable. She was very compassionate in this. So compassionate, I wondered if she’d been through it in some way. Yet, she wasn’t married. And as far as Voski knew, she wasn’t a widow. I wanted to ask, but although she was always kind and thoughtful, our relationship had never quite moved from friendly colleagues to friends. And now definitely wasn’t the time to ask her anything so personal. “Do you think my courses will come back? One of the nurses told me she wasn’t sure.”

Terra’s lips thinned. “We can’t know for certain,” she said. “But I believe so, yes. You’ve healed so beautifully… I wouldn’t be surprised for it to take some months to return, though. Your body has been through a great deal.”

She’d already warned me about this, so I nodded and moved the conversation back to the testing. “As long as I climb the rope, you’ll clear me?” I asked her as Voski apparently decided he was satisfied with the harness strap and he and Gil began to climb back down the ladders.

“Yes. Truly, Grace, I would have cleared you already, but it was obvious your mate needs to see that we’ve tested you properly,” she said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes, but I smiled as well. Then took a deep breath, because while I was eager for the answer to my last question, it was also embarrassing to ask.

“Do you think it’s safe for me to… that is, for Voski and me to return to our, er, usual… engagements? Together?” I swallowed hard. “Privately?”

Terra’s smile broadened, though she kept her eyes on the men who had almost reached the ground and would be with us in moments. “Yes, Grace. Again, this is far more about your mind and heart than your body. If you feel ready, then yes. I believe you can return to any form of engagements you desire. Again, if you suffer bleeding, or pain—”

“I’ll tell you!” I hurried to reassure her, but my heart began to race.

Voski reached the floor and turned quickly, frowning, staring at me across the wide expanse of the room. ‘Are you well? You feel… aflutter?’

‘I am,’ I sent back—then showed him what I’d asked Terra. And her response.