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I wasn’t sure which of us had won. But I felt a lot calmer.

“Sorry about the lip,” I puffed, grinning.

Ronen wiped the lip and looked at the red smear on the back of his hand. “It won’t be my last.”

I snorted. No, it wouldn’t be. In fact, none of these injuries were serious. We’d both taken worse, just in training. But it had felt good to cut loose.

Ronen let his head fall back against the wall. “If you need to do this again, you call me, not Gil.”

I frowned. “Why?”

“Because your brother has a lot to handle right now, and he’s not your punching bag.”

“We’ve always done this to help each other when things get tense.”

Ronen turned to look at me, his expression stern. “It’s an order, Voski. If you need to hit for real, you call me, not him.”

The simmer of anger and tension I’d been feeling for days, the one I thought I’d dispelled with the physical exertion, reared right back up to burn in my chest.

I wanted to yell at him. Fight again. But I needed to get back to Grace and—

Unease crackled through my chest when Ronen sighed and let his head fall back against the wall again. “Don’t do it, Vos.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t give in to the old patterns. It’s obvious you’ve been through some shit. I’m here. We’re all here. But don’t let it drag you back. Whatever you’re fighting… fight. Stop hiding.”

“Hiding?!” I was about to push to my feet and storm off. My body prickled with unease. My head whirled with the angry thoughts. I’d come here to get rid of this, not make it worse!

But just as I dropped both hands to the floor, to push up, Kham growled through the link—a warning that froze me.

Ronen looked at me, and his words echoed in my head.

Don’t give in to the old patterns… don’t let it drag you back. Whatever you’re fighting… fight. Stop hiding…

And even though I didn’t want to wear that, I made myself stop, and look at it.

I was tense again. The way I’d always been. I didn’t feel that way with Grace—not usually. I didn’t want space from her. But these past few days… I’d been falling back into that need to be alone, to want to be apart, and separate. I’d thought longingly of the Solitude, the treehouse.

I’d called Gil because I wanted to get rid of that feeling. But even that was what I used to do.

I frowned and turned my head, about to ask Ronen how he knew. But when our eyes met, it hit me.

I felt guilt. The reason I was pissed Ronen wanted me to call him was because I didn’t want to be alone with him. Because I owed him an apology, and it all felt like too much to deal with alongside everything else.

Ronen just stared at me, waiting.

He was a very patient man, and good at letting us think when we needed to. But his gaze held a query now.

I cleared my throat.

“Can we talk?” I asked bluntly.

“Depends. You ready to talk about why you haven’t come to see the squad yet?”

I nodded, then lost my nerve for a second. Leaning my elbows on my knees again, I clamped my hands together and stared at the floor between my feet. “Do you, uh… did you hear what’s happened while we were gone?” I asked him hesitantly.

In the corner of my eye, I saw him shrug. “I’ve heard murmurings. Nothing concrete. But it’s clear it was a very difficult mission.”