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Why was I nervous for her to wake?

I didn’t know, but the agitation wouldn’t leave me for the entire hour that Grace slept, but then she stirred, then sat up, her cheeks still warm, but no longer wet. Her eyes puffy. But she smiled.

She didn’t speak, just reached for me, and I crawled onto the bed immediately, to hold her and curl her under my chin.

“You can sleep some more if you’re still tired,” I said quietly.

She shook her head. “I want to be awake with you.” She hesitated, then, “You should have gone out to see Kham, or something. Maybe talked to Donavyn? Bren has been through—”

“I know, she told me,” I cut her off flatly. I felt her tense, and cursed myself, but stroked a hand up and down her back. “I didn’t mean to sound angry. I’m just tense. I was afraid she might hurt you, or… I don’t know. I’m glad that you’re well.”

“I am. It helped to talk about it with someone who’s been through it.”

“You can talk to me. I’ll listen.”

“I know, but you’re… you’re sad too. I know we’re different. I don’t want to force you to talk if you’re not ready. But it really helped me lift the weight, Voski. I wonder if you should talk to Donavyn, since we know he—”

“Why does everyone want me to be upset?” I hissed. Grace went still in my arms. Alarm jangled in the back of my head, so I tried to soften my tone. “Grace, I’m just so happy and grateful that you’re safe, and we’re here, and there’s no more danger… I want to be happy about that. Even with the blows. I want to enjoy that. It seems like everyone wants me to focus on the loss. I don’t understand why!”

Her body was stiff in my arms, but her fingers trailed up and down my spine.

“I don’t want you to be sad,” she whispered. “I just want you to be able to say if you are.”

“Haven’t I proven already that I will? Haven’t I shown—”

Grace ducked her head into my chest. Her arms tightened around me, at the same time her body went stiff.

There was a flare of anger in my chest—she wanted me to talk about sadness, but not anger?—but the moment I heard my own thoughts, I was horrified at myself.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, pulling Grace tighter against me. “I’m sorry. Don’t be scared. I didn’t mean—you’ve been incredible. I’m just sick of people telling me how to feel. I just want to feel better.”

She lifted her head to meet my eyes, and hers were red again. “I think… I think you can’t truly feel good until you let yourself feel the things that aren’t,” she whispered, her expression worried—especially when I tensed.

I made myself not respond. Because I felt the heat of anger, and I felt the resistance, and I knew if I opened my mouth I wouldn’t be kind. And she needed better than that.

There was a rumble in my head from my dragon—approving… pointed.

I swallowed hard.

Then another knock came at the door and I almost lashed out—almost snarled at whoever had interrupted to tell them to fuck right off. But I swallowed that too when the door opened a moment later, and it was Terra.

Terra who’d been waiting.

Terra who’d told me what Grace needed.

She needed better than this.

So, as I kissed Grace’s hair and shoveled love at her through the bond, and crawled off the bed to let Terra examine her, I made myself say the words through gritted teeth.

“Do you have some time, Terra?”

She nodded. “I’ll check Grace, then I have some reports and—”

“Could you stay close? Stay with her?”

Grace frowned at me past Terra’s shoulder, but the healer only shrugged. “If you need to go, I could sit in here with her while I finish the reports. That’s not a problem.”

“Thank you, I…”