Page 145

He held my eyes for a moment that felt like infinity before I saw his expression shatter and he leaned in, claiming my lips with his own. Arms locked around my waist, pulling me closer, his breath rushed between my lips and into my lungs, and he swallowed a moan I couldn’t stop.

He licked along the seam of my lips and I opened up for him like I was welcoming him home. My entire world condensed into the spots where our bodies touched. Nothing mattered anymore but his lips on mine, his arms around me, and the promise of forever still echoing in my head.

He cradled my face in his cool palm and tilted my head to the side, his tongue sneaking in and tangling with mine. His thumb brushed the apple of my cheek and his fingers tangled in my hair, not pulling, but grounding me so I wouldn’t float away.

I pushed up on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck, the spoon clutched in my hand like an anchor as he kissed me. I didn’t want him to stop. I never wanted to be away from him again.

But I also wanted more. So, so, so much more it scared me, but it also made me forget everything else but that maddening want.

I bit his lip and rolled my hips into his, showing him just how much I wanted him, just how great my need for him was. He groaned into my mouth then broke the kiss, resting his forehead against mine.

“Fuck, love,” he said, chest heaving against mine. I could almost feel his heart thundering beneath the thick jacket and jumper he was wearing.

“That sounds lovely,” I said and he let out a chuckle that sounded both pained and amused at the same time.

“So naughty.” He took one hand off my back and gave the top of my bum the tiniest of taps.

Tiny, but bursting inside me like a supernova. I moaned, pushing back towards his hand.

“Shit,” he said. “You liked that? Shall we circle back to that pin?”

I moaned, still rocking my hips back and forth because there was pleasure to be found on both ends, it seemed. “Please.”

“Please what, love?” he asked and I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

“Do that again,” I said, voice cracking. His palm rubbed soothing circles into the small of my back, long fingers brushing against my arse every so often.

He hummed before lifting his hand again and delivering a tap that was just slightly sharper. Not painful. Not even a sting. But enough to send my mind reeling.

“Ryan…” I moaned, and he did it again.

Harder.

There was a sting this time. My knees gave out but he caught me before I could tumble. He lifted me in his arms and settled us both into the nest of blankets he had piled on the hard stone.

“Love…” he said when I crawled into his lap, my thighs on either side of his hips and my arms desperately locked around his neck again. My fingers grew numb around the spoon and the carvings imprinted themselves on my skin like a brand.

“Hm?” I asked.

“I’ll need you to use your words for this. If you want me to do this I’ll need you to say it.”

“Spank me,” I whispered. No shame. No hesitation. No worry I was too much. I trusted him to take care of me, give me what I needed, and make sure I was satisfied and happy.

“Shit,” he hissed through his teeth, hooking his fingers into the waistband of my shorts and tugging them over the swell of my arse. He tucked the elastic under me, so I was exposed to the wind outside and his hands. He smoothed his palms over both of my cheeks, warming them up as much as he could before I felt him lift…and smack.

The sting made my vision blur. I moaned so loudly my throat hurt. The spoon fell from my fingers and rolled onto the blanket next to his hip.

He smacked again, this time on the other side. I could imagine the imprint of his fingers on my skin, red in between the silver of my stretchmarks. I pushed out. Asking for more. Begging for it.

He delivered another sharp slap and I went limp in his arms, my head on his shoulder, spit dripping from my mouth and onto his shirt as I cried out in pleasure and pain.

He followed that up with two more smacks, alternating sides and locations so much it made me dizzy. I had no idea what to expect. Or where to expect. The pain just bloomed, surprising and welcome every time it showed up.

And in between, his hands soothed my skin, his fingers caressing, making sure I was okay. His words rushed over me like a balm. Praise and pride and awe I had never heard directed at me before.

You’re doing so well.

You’re so stunning.