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There was so much on the tip of my tongue, so many words that were trying to work their way unstuck…but I had never said any of them before and the muscles of my mouth found them unfamiliar and strange, and my heart was in my throat blocking all sound and air.

What if I hard committed to something and it all fell apart again?

What if I allowed myself to let my guard down and they left? Just like he had.

The fear paralysed me.

Something exploded in the dining room, a gust of dust and wood particles pluming out of the doorway.

“Look what you did, you big dolt!”

“Me? You’re the one who said you could hold the sledgehammer and not phase through it!”

“We’d better go and handle that before they break anything,” Owain said with a small sigh, turning on his heel.

“I’m right behind you,” I said as he walked out, letting the moment go.

You’re a coward, my dick told me.

Needing some fresh air, I walked outside towards the cliff and sat down, gazing out across the ocean.

Barth’s ship creaked and swayed, translucent and barely visible to the naked eye during the day.

“Barth!” I called down toward the water.

“Aye!” echoed back up.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Aye! Come aboard, laddie.”

Fuck no.

“Up here.”

There was no response, but then Barth’s dramatic figure materialised next to me, tricorn hat with its feather perfectly placed with the breeze passing straight through it.

“You’re looking a little green around the gills there,” he pointed out.

“Yeah. I feel a little sick.”

“I got a cure for that.”

I snorted. “You have.”

“Aye.” He got up and stepped out off the cliff. It made my stomach lurch just watching him float suspended over nothing. “Let me just go get Mr. Jangles and his needle. Do ye like gold or silver?”

“What?”

“For your new earring. It cures the worst seasickness, you know. An old pirate secret. OH MR. JANGLES!” he yelled down.

“Aye, Captain?” boomed back.

“Wait, what? No Mr. Jangles! I’m not getting a piercing. MR. JANGLES, STAY THE FUCK PUT! I’m not seasick, Barth!” I hissed.

“Then what are ye?” he asked in exaggerated exasperation, hands on his hips.

“A coward!” I snapped.