Page 84
Shock ripples over Dom’s face, and he glances between me and Killian, like he’s trying to figure us out, but Carrie speaks before he can say anything about it.
“Obviously, emotions are high, but it’s still Scarlett’s birthday and we’re not going to fight. Not tonight. We can all take a few days to process things, and there will be bigger conversations to have after Christmas. At least everything is out in the open now.” She’s entirely too reasonable for someone who’s just found out her husband has two children with another woman. If I grow up to be half as steady and stable as she is, I’ll be happy.
“Right. This will be a good thing,” Dom says, like he’s trying to keep the upper hand in the conversation. “Everything is out in the open, and that can only be good for the kids. We’ll take them back to Ireland and …”
I don’t hear the end of his sentence. It’s drowned out by a combination of protests, courtesy of my family, and something suspiciously like screaming inside my own head. This has been my biggest fear since Caitlin was born. I know to a court he’d look like a better option; he has a better paying job, he’s older, and I’m almost certain that his house back in Ireland is nicer and not falling apart like this one. On a material level, he can provide everything the kids need and more.
But he doesn’t know them. He doesn’t know that Caitlin gets a rash from the glue on Band-Aids, or that James only likes a specific kind of apple. He doesn’t know their special bath time song, or Caitlin’s teacher’s name, or that James lost his first tooth early because he was wrestling a rag doll with his teeth, playing with Landon’s dogs. He doesn’t know them at all. They’re mine. And he can’t take them away from me.
“Stop.” I must say it louder than I meant to, because everyone does. I turn to Dom. “You’re not taking the kids anywhere. In fact, you’re not doing anything with the kids without me okaying it. If you want to be a more active dad, great. I want that and we can talk about how you can do that after Christmas, like Carrie said, but until you’ve proven yourself with them, everything goes through me.”
I must have shocked him into silence, because he just nods, saying nothing.
“Well said, honey,” my mom says. “Now, I think it’s about time we all head out so you can get the kids ready for Santa.”
Everyone stands, murmuring their agreement. While I’m looking forward to having a little quiet in the house again, this leaves me with a new problem. Or, I suppose, the same problem in a new way: Dom. He’s always slept in my bed when he stays here, even after I ended things with him. It’s a conversation we just never had.
“Do you want to sleep here so you can see the kids when they wake up? You can take James’s bed,” I offer, getting ahead of him assuming he’ll be sleeping with me. Thankfully, he doesn’t fight me on it.
“Yeah. I want to be here when they wake up.”
I’d rather he wasn’t here at all, but I’ve always promised myself I wouldn’t keep him from the kids, and I’m not going to start now.
I turn to Killian. He looks tired; he’s spent the past few weeks so focused on me and the kids that I don’t know if he’s really given himself time to process any of this.
“I’ll help you put the kids down, drive over to Landon’s house to sleep, and come back in the morning before they wake up,” he says softly, glancing sideways at his dad.
“No,” I reply, without giving myself the chance to think. “Stay, Kill.”
“Are you sure? I’ll sleep on the—”
“You’ll sleep with me,” I say firmly. “We’ll deal with whatever the fallout is after Christmas, but I want you here. Please.”
My favorite smile curves his lips. “Always, love.”
I call Piper down and promise to debrief her tomorrow. She heads out, leaving only me, Killian, and Dom standing in the living room.
Dom clears his throat. “I left my bags in the car. I’ll be back.”
“Come here,” Killian says, once the door is closed behind Dom, pulling me into a tight hug. We say nothing, just cling to each other, and I take the first deep breath I’ve taken since spotting Dom on my doorstep. We only stand for a minute, but it’s enough to calm me down, and Killian looks a little less stressed when we break apart. “Let’s go see what masterpieces the kids have created for Santa.”
He takes my hand and we walk up the stairs together. The kids are more subdued than they usually are on Christmas Eve. They happily snuggle into us for story time, and it’s not until we’ve kissed them goodnight that Caitlin asks about Dom.
“Is Daddy staying for Christmas?”
“He sure is. He’ll be here in the morning.”
“Oh.” It’s only one syllable, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Killian must see it on my face, because he winds his arm around my waist, steadying me.
“But you know what else will be here in the morning? Presents from Santa,” he tells them, tickling James over his Santa PJs. James giggles, and the sound makes Caitlin smile.
“Will you still be here?” she asks him.
Killian leans down to give her another kiss on the forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, Kit-cat.”
36
Killian