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Her heart still ached, but it felt lighter.

So she banished her worries, focusing instead on the promise of Switzerland, of gingerbread in Applebury, and a day to escape the walls of Bellthorne Hall.

Twenty-Two

Felix lingered late in the drawing room on New Year’s Eve playing a game of cards with Lord Dalmeer, but it failed to distract him from his worries as he had hoped. He even joined the earl for the hunt on New Year’s Day, desperate for some reprieve. But as long as Leah was still in the house, Felix feared his mind—and his heart—would never rest. He had been giving her the space and time she had requested, but that didn’t soften the agony he felt awaiting her answer.

The only relief he felt was at the absence of Mr. Markham. His competition seemed to have disappeared, at least, and Felix couldn’t help but wonder if Leah had rejected him too. He could hardly believe he had once thought her desperate. She was confident, true, and honest, and Felix couldn’t fault her for it.

He only wished that she was as certain of her feelings as he was.

From what he had observed of her since his proposal, she seemed content. Happy, even. She had been socializing with more of the women at the house, attending all the events Lady Dalmeer planned with a smile on her face.

At the musicale on the second day of the new year, Felix listened to all the performances with half his attention, the other half fixed on Leah, where she lingered near the refreshment table.

Freddie, who sat beside Felix, let him know that his attention toward her had apparently not been as discreet as he had hoped. “You might consider making her your wife,” Freddie whispered.

Felix joined the group as they applauded for Miss Bowles, leaning closer to his friend. He had given up denying his feelings for Leah. Freddie knew him too well.

“I tried,” Felix muttered.

Freddie’s brows lifted. “Did she reject you?”

“Yes.” He paused. “Well, she asked for more time to consider my proposal.”

“How long has it been?”

“Two days.”

Freddie flinched. “Perhaps it’s time that you renew your sentiments. Did you deliver them properly the first time?”

Felix tightened his jaw. “I’m not certain.”

“Did you tell her how you feel about her?”

A sigh escaped Felix’s chest. “That doesn’t come easily to me. I-I tried. I’m certain I made a muddle of it.”

Freddie gave a solemn nod. “It’s not easy. But it may be worth trying again.”

Felix stared at the floor between his boots, where a few pine needles had shed from the boughs they had hung in the music room on Christmas Eve. He knew Leah was hoping to be loved, yet he had been too afraid to say the words. To fall in love so quickly hadn’t been part of Felix’s plans nor his expectations. The vulnerability it would require did scare him, just as Leah had guessed. But if her hesitation was caused by his inability to express his feelings directly, then he needed to try. He couldn’t leave Bellthorne Hall in just a few short days without Leah knowing how he felt.

He glanced repeatedly at the refreshment table during the next performance, catching sight of Mr. Cole whispering to one of the maids. He didn’t question it, too distracted with locating Leah, who now sat beside the Laurences. She listened intently to the composition Mr. Stroud was performing for them, but the moment it was over, she returned to the table for a glass of punch.

Felix stood during the applause, crossing the room toward her. He didn’t want to spook her, but there was no reason for them to avoid one another entirely. He was fairly certain she saw him coming, but she kept her attention focused on the glass in her hand.

When he reached her side, her eyes lifted to his. As nervous as she appeared, Felix would have to refrain from diving straight into a love confession.

“Have you tasted the seed cake?” he asked in a low voice. Someone had begun playing the pianoforte again across the room. “Or the almond macarons?”

She visibly relaxed, though he still sensed her unease. She studied the table with an amused smile. “The real question is what haven’t I tasted.”

Felix couldn’t help but smile back. “Very well, then. What haven’t you tasted?”

Her lips pressed together. “The queen cakes.”

“Why not?” He was grateful to see that they could still converse easily when it came to lighter subjects. He felt his own posture relax.

She shrugged. “They didn’t look quite as appealing as the others.”