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Jess began to quietly cry. I only knew it because of how her shoulders shook as she waded in front of me.
“I’m sorry,” she said, stumbling over a rock.
“What the hell happened?” Priya said.
“She thought Soren really loved her. Leave her alone,” I said.
“Oh, honey,” Callie said. “And you thought he was worth more than all those dead women and the only friends you have?”
“Please stop,” Jess whimpered. “I said I’m sorry.”
“He doesn’t love you and he never did—”
“Please!” Jess howled, and it sounded like half her soul was in it. “You think I don’t feel bad enough?”
“It’s not about you, Jess, and that’s the part you don’t get,” Callie yelled.
“Shhh!” I hissed. We were a few feet from the sand. “We need to get out of here! You can hate her while we climb up the gully.”
We waded through the water that wanted to carry us out to sea. The robes became heavy, the water inching up the fabric to our ribs. By the time we found the rope, we were clinging to rocks to keep ourselves steady.
I went up first, kicking and scrambling my way up, clutching the bowl in one hand, the other gripping the rope. I dropped it twice and nearly lost it to the water below. My backpack swung awkwardly on my back. The shale shifted and rolled under me until I strangled a frustrated scream.
At the top of the gully, we lay in the brush, all four of us crying and groaning and swiping mud from our faces.
“Get in the truck,” I said, stumbling over my own feet.
We quickly bandaged our hands with gauze from the first aid kit, toweled off, and wrapped ourselves in blankets, refusing to look at the light glowing north of us through the fog.
The drive home was excruciating. We drove in silence, deep inside ourselves but also horribly aware of every breath, adrenaline still coursing its way through us, fatigue right on its heels. I chewed on gum, and slowly the acrid taste of vomiting up an evil force faded. Jess spoke up right when the redwoods fell away to gas stations and power lines.
“You’re not going to tell Priya?”
“Tell me what?”
Callie looked at me from the front passenger seat.
“Kai’s been helping us for the last two weeks,” Callie said. “He helped plan everything. He helped recruit at the pool party. He and Damian made us promise we wouldn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”
Priya didn’t say anything for five minutes, which sucked out all the air in the truck and made the rest of the ride even worse.
“I can’t believe you kept that from me,” she said at last.
“It wasn’t you they were worried about. It was Adrian,” I said, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. She leaned against the window, her fists inside her sleeve.
“So you and Marlowe… you somehow got lucky,” she said, and I felt an ugly pressure in my chest. I swallowed.
“I’m sorry, Priya,” Callie said.
“I guess we’re all sorry tonight,” Jess mumbled.
“Trust me, it’s not the same,” Priya said. “What you did—”
“Can we please stop talking?” I begged, my composure fraying, minute by minute. “I’m so fucking tired. I just want to eat something terrible and fall asleep knowing I’m not a monster’s bride. I’m so exhausted, I can’t even be happy about it.”
Nobody said anything after that. Somewhere on the last stretch, the back window went down and the cab filled with the roar of the wind. In the mirror, I watched Jess work the silver cuff over her hand and put her arm out into the dark. The window came up. In the quiet behind it I thought I heard a small clack out on the road, but I wouldn’t swear to it, and nobody else looked up.
I dropped them off in silence.
