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She opens her mouth to ask, but I shake my head lightly, my round eyes displaying the promise that I’ll fill her in later.
For the next hour, Ava dances around in her new dress while Henley and I continue decorating the store, and by the time we’re done, Ava’s ready for bed.
We say our goodbyes with Henley gesturing for me to call her, but I don’t get the chance. Her impatience kicks in, and I’ve only just kissed Ava good night when my phone rings down the hall.
“What happened?” Henley asks before I’ve said hello.
I huff out a sigh and wish she was here. I could use a girls’ night accompanied by a tall glass of wine. Or a bottle. “Travis wants Ava to spend Christmas with him this year.”
“Ha. Good luck, buddy. That privilege belongs to parents who have been present since birth.” I don’t respond and like I knew she would, Henley understands my silence. “Oh, Lily. You’re a much better person than I am.”
My heart jolts seconds before tears fill the back of my eyes. “I couldn’t say no, Hen. Why the hell didn’t I say no?”
“Because you want Ava to have a relationship with her dad. When will she be there? How about we do something on the weekend? We can take her ice skating and find some carolers.”
“She’d love that. Maybe we should invite Atlas?” I raise a brow even though she can’t see me and picture Henley’s returning eye roll.
“I’m sure he’d love to hang out with Ava some more. He’s mentioned the pizza and PJ night she invited him to a few times since the tree lighting.”
My mind drifts back to the annual Clairmont tree lighting ceremony, and I genuinely smile for the first time since Travis’s call.
Atlas may have been giving Ava a fair bit of his time, but his attention was always elsewhere. On Henley.
“Of course. I’m sure it’s all about Ava.” I stifle a laugh.
“I know what you’re doing, Lily.” Henley’s voice softens and my smile instantly drops. “You’re allowed to be upset. Want me to come over?”
Yes. “No, that’s okay. You’re opening the store early tomorrow.” This year we decided to offer a few extended hours over the Christmas season, and tomorrow morning, Henley’s opening at eight.
“Eight isn’t that early.”
“It is if you stay up drinking with your best friend.”
“I’d still do it.”
“I know. Thank you. I think I need to process it all for tonight. I promise to talk to you more tomorrow when I get in.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I know.”
After a sleepless night spent half dreaming, half mourning a Christmas without Ava, I’m a mess by the time I arrive at The Bookish Aroma at ten. Henley doesn’t pounce on me the second I arrive, but her anxious expression tells me she wants to.
“Nice weather we’re having,” she comments instead, and a soft laugh escapes me.
She follows me into the office and waits while I toss my bag under my desk. “You’re allowed to ask,” I tell her as I turn, my thankful smile growing.
“Thank God,” she sighs out loud as though the worry has been killing her, and my heart jolts. I’m lucky to have her in my life.
“How are you feeling?” she asks, squeezing my arm.
“I’m not great, but…I’m starting to accept it.”
Henley’s face drops until I frown to scold her and she schools her features. I don’t need pity.
“Have you told Ava?” She scrunches her nose while shifting the focus off my emotions.
“I haven’t. But I will tonight.”
