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Except, now that I’m in his bed, lying next to him, I see the patience and understanding rolling off of him. Calvin Fischer is not like most men I encounter.

He’s kind, calm, smart, and makes me laugh. He’s not intentionally cruel either.

I shake my head with no idea what to do. “I wish I could,” I sigh.

“You could what?” His beautiful brown eyes bore into me.

“I wish I could be what you need.”

“Hey.” His voice is low and sweet. “You are exactly what I need. And who I want. I don’t need you to be anything but you. You hear me?”

“And you’d be okay with that?”

My ex was always trying to change me. The hairstyle that he wanted. The clothes and colors he liked best. My laugh when it was just the right level of sound and nothing too high-pitched or out of control. And the list goes on.

It was exhausting trying to keep up with everything. There were so many rules. And so many punishments when I didn’t adhere properly.

“I’m crazy about you, Lettie.” His raspy voice breaks through my thoughts, and my heart pounds.

“I really like you,” I admit, even though I don’t turn my head to face him.

“How about this? I may be a center, but you are the quarterback. You call the shots in the relationship, and I’ll snap to you.”

“What?” I breathe.

He would be okay with this?

“We do this at your own pace. Whatever you are comfortable with. Labels. No labels. You’re the play caller.”

“Are you sure?” I breathe.

“These past few weeks have been the best in my life. I’m not ready to give that up. I know that this is hard for you, and I am so proud of you. You are so strong and brave. I just want to spend time with you. However you want.”

The thing is: these last few weeks have also been the best for me in a long time. Maybe ever. I don’t know where this may go, but I do know that I want to move forward. I need to move forward.

But I’ve been so still for so many years, and where has that gotten me?

I don’t feel very strong or brave, but I do know that for Calvin, I want to try to be.

He’s the first man, besides a relative, that has made me completely safe and happy.

What would it be like to be in a relationship like that? One built on happiness and trust.

Would it be different this time around, or do all relationships end in heartbreak eventually? His kind eyes watch mine, giving me all the time for an answer.

As much as I want to hide under the pillows, maybe I can be the person Calvin thinks I am.

“I may be slow,” I admit.

“I’m best friends with your brother. I can handle slow.”

I choke out a laugh. I wasn’t expecting that reply. “What if I’m slower? I do have the same genes.”

“Then I’ll be patient. You are worth waiting for.”

A lump forms in my throat and it feels tight all of a sudden. I reach for a glass of water on the nightstand and take a large sip.

“I may call the wrong shots. I’ve never been a play caller before,” I admit after a beat.