Page 9

She waited until Miss Trimmer was occupied before slipping out of bed and running down the corridor so she could peer through the banister and look at all the guests arriving in their incredible dresses. She’d peeped out of the window to see carriages and people everywhere in the courtyard, so now would be the best time. Handsome men, fabulous ladies in so many colours, but none as perfect as her mother.

She crept down the stairs to her favourite spot to watch. Gee wasn’t interested in seeing everyone arrive, and Hart was too little to understand that he must be quiet. She settled down and pulled her knees and bare toes inside her voluminous night rail, tucked her hair behind her ears, and watched.

Her heart jumped when she saw Lord Leveson-Gower, and when he moved out of sight, she crept further down the corridor so she could see him. He was talking to someone, and he laughed. It made Haryo smile to see it. As he turned, he flicked a gaze around the room and, by some miracle, spotted her. No-one had ever spotted her before. She froze. What would he do? Would he tell her mother or, worse still, her father?

Instead, he grinned, and glancing around, touched a finger to his lips in a shhh gesture before winking. He actually winked! Haryo laughed and tried to wink back, but it probably looked more like she was just scrunching up her face.

Lord Leveson-Gower laughed some more before looking back up. Haryo propped her chin on her hands, grinning from ear to ear. She almost died of happiness when he blew her a kiss. Emboldened by the party atmosphere, she blew a kiss back, but as her courage failed her, she ran back to the nursery. Clambering into bed, Haryo pulled the covers over her head, and hugged the moment to her chest.

Life was so much better when Mama was home. Haryo curled up on the bed beside her mother and kissed her arm ever so gently. There were lots of people in the house when Mama was home. Papa didn’t like people; he just liked his dogs. Haryo liked dogs too, but not as much as Papa. On the other hand, Mama didn’t like dogs, but Lady Liz liked them a lot.

Haryo snuggled closer and kissed her again. Sometimes, she loved Mama so much it hurt her chest.

‘Shall we read a story?’ Mama said.

Haryo jumped up immediately. She loved books almost as much as she loved her mother. Hart came toddling over and Mama scooped him up in a big hug. Haryo tried not to feel jealous that she was too big for Mama to scoop up like that, but sometimes it was hard.

The three of them sat on the bed, Hart on Mama’s lap, Haryo snuggled tight to her side, and they read for a long time. Haryo was sure that Mama was happiest when she was reading with them. Sometimes, she looked sad. Haryo had no idea why she might feel so, but it was there in her eyes. They looked like the way she’d felt when Mama had been away a long time, so she put her arms around her and gave her an extra squeeze.

When Mama finally closed the book they were reading and left them, Haryo curled up on the chair by the window with her own book. Miss Trimmer took Hart for a nap, and Gee sat on the floor drawing. They both looked up when they heard Miss Trimmer’s voice outside the door. Her ears perked up further when she heard them mention Mama and how beautiful she was. Though, they didn’t say it in a way that suggested being beautiful was a good thing, more that it was a problem.

‘At least the girls won’t follow her in that regard,’ Miss Trimmer said.

‘How might you mean?’ asked the person she spoke to.

‘Well really, let’s face it, neither little Georgiana nor Harriet are going to grow up to be beauties like their mother, are they? Little Georgiana is so dreadfully shy and dull, and Harriet is plump with mousey brown hair and little eyes. So, neither are striking like their mother.’

Gee looked over at Haryo, eyes wide, mouth open.

Haryo swallowed and waited for them to go on, but they simply walked away. Whispers finished.

Haryo jumped up, ran to the bedchamber and looked in her mirror. Were her eyes small? Was it such a bad thing to have small eyes? And what was wrong with brown hair? She rather liked her hair. She opened her eyes as wide as she could. She knew Miss Trimmer didn’t think she was a beauty, but this was a new blow.

‘What are you doing?’ Gee asked.

‘Looking at my eyes. Do you think they are small?’ Gee was older. Sometimes she knew more about things than Haryo did.

‘They are not as big and bright as Mama’s, that’s all they meant. I think they are pleased we are not beautiful like Mama.’

Haryo frowned and sat on the bed. ‘But I like Mama being beautiful.’

‘I think Hart is going to be the prettiest of all of us,’ Gee said. ‘He’s got all the fair hair and pretty eyes.’

‘Does this mean they think we won’t get good husbands?’

Gee shrugged. ‘Perhaps.’

Haryo’s thoughts strayed to Lord Leveson-Gower.

‘I wouldn’t worry, Haryo,’ Gee said, coming to sit beside her. ‘All that’s a long way off.’

Haryo leaned against Gee, who put an arm around her. She loved her sister almost as much as Mama.

‘Well, we might not be the prettiest girls, but I’d wager we are the cleverest,’ she muttered.

‘You are, darling. I’m just dull and ordinary,’ Gee said.

Haryo fidgeted in the carriage as they tooled along. The bow under her chin holding her bonnet in place was too tight, but she dared not fiddle with it whilst Miss Trimmer was watching. Mama was staring out of the carriage window and didn’t seem to hear anything that was said to her. Hart kept trying to sit on Mama’s knee, but Miss Trimmer pulled him back each time. She and Gee were squeezed up against Lady Liz, who was watching Mama with an odd expression. Haryo sighed.