Page 49

‘Let’s open up the barn,’ Luke calls to Lara.

‘Okay, on it!’ she shouts back.

We reach the barn, with the rain pouring against our faces. Lara has set up the torch and is shaking straw around in one corner, creating a cosy nest there.

‘There’s a light switch somewhere,’ I say, and look around and flick it down. An orange bulb glows with a gentle light. ‘You look like you know what you’re doing,’ I say to Lara.

‘Growing up, I spent all my time at the local stables, working for rides out, mucking out, even cleaning the owner’s house. I’d do anything to get to spend time around the horses.’

‘You didn’t have one of your own?’

She shakes her head.

‘No, my parents weren’t going to be able to afford horses. They both worked, and we were fed and clothed, and really happy. But we weren’t in the horse-owning income bracket. I promised myself that when I got older I’d buy one myself. But right now, I’d settle for a cat to come home to.’ She says this with a gentle laugh, but I know it’s tinged with sadness. I know that laugh myself.

Horse and Luke set Dinky down gently on the straw. She gets up and turns around a few times, pawing at the straw first, then lying down again. She seems content here.

‘There’s a heater in here somewhere,’ I say. ‘Paddy used it when he was out here, fixing things . . . all sorts of things. I saw it the other day. Paddy was really good at fixing things,’ I say to no one in particular.

I move quietly around the barn. Everyone is speaking in low voices; Lara, Luke and Horse are moving straw bales to make an enclosure for Dinky for when the pups arrive. Tegan looks on expectantly with her chest puffed up, proud of herself.

I find the heater and fire it up. We put more straw bales around, a safe enough distance from the heater.

‘I’ll go and make some tea,’ says Lara.

‘What do we do next?’ Luke says, looking clueless.

‘I think we let her do her own thing,’ says Horse. ‘She’ll let us know if she needs help.’

So that’s what we do. I gather old towels and blankets from the big cupboard on the upstairs landing, where there are stacks of linen that haven’t seen the light of day in years. Lara makes mugs of tea, and we all sit and wait on straw bales, staying just close enough that we’ll know if Dinky needs us.

And as we wait and watch in awe, five new lives arrive into the world with no help from us at all. My eyes fill with tears as Dinky greets each puppy in turn with plenty of licks. New beginnings, right here in the barn. Whatever else is going on in the world, Mother Nature keeps on working, keeping the cycle of the seasons passing. Where one life has come to an end, another begins. Like me and the farm, I think; if only I could get rid of the idea of Scarlett uprooting all the Christmas trees. And I let my tears fall, overwhelmed with joy and sadness at the same time, as the barn fills with warmth and the sound of new puppies looking for reassurance from their mother.

Luke and Lara make sure each puppy has found a place to feed, and Lara strokes Dinky and tells her how wonderful she’s been and gets her toast from the farmhouse kitchen.

Horse pulls himself up tall and yawns, his shirt riding up and showing a little glimpse of dark hair around his stomach.

‘Where are you staying tonight?’ I ask, knowing his plans can vary from visit to visit.

He looks at his watch.

‘Oh, it’s late.’

‘Would it be okay if I stayed here in the barn with Dinky?’ Luke asks. ‘Not sure I should leave her, really.’

‘Of course! I’ll find you some warm bedding. Plenty of it in the cupboards.’

‘I’m happy to stay out here too. We could take it in turns,’ says Horse. ‘Keep her company.’

‘That would be great,’ says Luke.

‘Happy to take a turn,’ says Lara too, smiling.

‘Can I stay up too?’ Will looks at me.

I smile.

‘Lara, how about I make up a bed for you in the spare room? I’ll bring out a bottle of something to toast the newborns’ heads. You can work out who does what shift between you,’ I say, thinking that Paddy would definitely approve of us drinking his good whisky to celebrate new life here in the barn. ‘But I think you’d better go to bed, Will. Tegan will be exhausted,’ I say.