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‘That’s not what I said!’ I say crossly.

Horse clears his throat, clearly embarrassed. I shake my head.

‘Don’t worry, Gwen, I have something in mind,’ Gareth says. ‘Leave it with me. I think I know how to sort all of this out.’ And he makes his way out to his car.

I watch him go, frustrated by his ham-fisted attempt to make everything okay. It’s not okay; I didn’t want Willow to find out like this, and him running off is exactly why. He was so upset by the spilt spices . . . Tears spring to my eyes and I swipe them away, but they keep coming. Gareth turns his car round, then disappears along the drive. I’m going to have to speak to him, tell him to stop popping in like this. I don’t need him ‘checking I’m okay’!

I look over towards the forest.

‘Do you have children, Horse?’ I ask after a few moments.

Horse shakes his head.

‘No, I didn’t raise any children,’ he says. ‘But I was one once, and I know what it feels like to have your whole world slipping and sliding under your feet. Like I say, just let Willow have a breather, and then I’ll go and look for him. If that’s okay with you?’

I nod and sniff.

‘Thank you,’ I say, feeling that I’ve made a mess of everything.

‘Now, where’s the dustpan and brush?’ asks Horse, and I reach for it under the sink. He takes it from me, bends down and starts sweeping up the spices. They release their aromas again as they’re swept up from the old faded carpet, which Paddy and I picked up from a second-hand shop when we were first living here. It’s been endlessly scrubbed and vacuumed and worn, and it feels like home. Just like this is my home. How is it going to feel when it’s someone else’s home?

‘I take it Will’s upset about something in particular?’ says Horse eventually, standing up.

‘He heard me and Gareth talking about the offer on the house.’

‘Ah, yes,’ he says, in his understated way.

I nod.

‘And how do you feel about that now?’ He puts the contents of the dustpan into the bin and sweeps some more.

I swallow. ‘I’m not sure. I thought it was everything I wanted. I was desperate to sell. Time to move on. I told you I’ve had an offer accepted on a flat by the sea, just right for me and Tegan. I’ve even put the deposit down on it.’ I grimace. ‘But now the buyers are coming back for another visit, it’s all got a bit real. And I don’t know if it’s right.’

Horse straightens up again.

‘Still thinking that it’s right for you, but maybe not for Willow?’ he says, understanding exactly where my head is at.

I nod again. ‘Not for Willow,’ I repeat.

After a moment, I turn to take the dustpan and brush from him and put it away. As his large hands brush against mine, a strange sensation travels through me, one I haven’t felt in a very long time. It reminds me of another life, when I was younger and Paddy and I had only just met. Another lonely tear springs to my eyes, and I brush it away.

‘He’ll be fine. He’ll be back in a bit, you’ll see,’ Horse says. He leans against the kitchen worktop. ‘But I can understand why you’re worried.’

‘I wish Gareth could. He thinks it’s a marvellous offer and I should be happy. That Paddy would think it’s just great and the sooner the new people move in, the better.’

Horse looks at me steadily, then says, ‘Maybe a rethink?’

‘But then what? Where do we go?’ And how will I deal with having lost all my savings by putting down that deposit?

Even so, I know he’s right.

‘The answer will show itself. It always does,’ he tells me. And despite everything I’m feeling, there is something about his words that reassures me.

I’m beginning to find there usually is, these days.

Chapter 14

‘Willow!’ I call out, navigating an overhanging branch from the fallen tree and the bramble that’s grown over it, its thorns tangled in amongst the Christmas tree branches. Once, there were clear pathways joyfully leading you through this forest. Now they’re clogged with brambles, overgrown trees, fallen branches and mud after the rain we’ve had. Paddy would put wood chippings down to keep the paths as dry as possible, but now they’re just as neglected as the house.