Page 25
‘Have a seat,’ I offer. ‘Lara’s just boiled the kettle. We’re nearly ready to try out our next batch.’
‘Here, let me help,’ he says and removes a tea towel from the oven door. He takes my hands and gently wipes the sticky batter from them. My hands in his big ones, he brushes away the dough so softly that I feel like he’s combing my hair, soothing and relaxing me.
‘Thank you,’ I say, feeling almost shy, as if we’ve shared something intimate. ‘Now to attempt to cook our second batch!’
But the next batch is just as bad as the first attempt.
‘Only trouble is, I can’t cook,’ I say with a grimace as we look down at the soggy, soft piles of mush. ‘Sorry, Willow,’ I say.
‘How about –’ Horse claps his hands together – ‘I treat us to a takeaway curry, from the place in town?’
Willow jumps up and down excitedly. ‘Yes! Can I come? My friend lives there,’ he says.
‘Well, I’m on the bike, mate,’ says Horse.
‘You can take the Land Rover if you like,’ I suggest. ‘I had the insurance set up when the Christmas tree farm was open and we had farm help. I haven’t got around to changing it. Something else to add to the list.’
‘Well, that sounds like a plan!’ says Horse. ‘Next time, I’ll take Gwen on the bike,’ he adds, with a smile at Willow.
We all laugh, and I feel my cheeks turn pink at the idea. ‘I’ll be cooking bhajis like a pro before we see that happen,’ I say.
And he looks at me and smiles.
‘You never know,’ he says, and I suddenly feel a zip, zip, zip of excitement fly up through my stomach, like a bolt of lightning, taking me by surprise. I make myself look away quickly. That kind of thinking will do no one any good, however thrilling it might feel.
With Willow and Horse out getting the takeaway, I talk to Lara. I tell her about the offer on the farm.
‘You will still be able to keep Willow with you for the time being, even in the flat,’ she assures me. ‘He’s still safe with you. And I have news: you’re his official carer now. The application was approved. But we are actively looking for a new family for him, and we have applicants in mind. It could happen at any time. And so ultimately, if this flat is important to you, then you should do what you feel is right. You’ll still be in Willow’s life, but you’ve got to think of your own long-term future.’
My head feels reassured by her words, but as I sip my tea, my heart twists in my chest. I think about how happy Willow is outside here, wandering in the forest with Tegan, building models from sticks he finds on the ground. Playing chase with Tegan and herding the ducks, hugging Louie . . .
But this was never going to be forever; I know that. Deep down, I know it’s the right thing. Willow and I have just been part of each other’s journeys to the next stage of our lives. I just hope that his new family has somewhere lovely for him to play outside.
‘You’ll tell them how much he loves to be outside, will you?’ I say to Lara. ‘How he loves being around animals?’
‘Of course,’ she promises, and I believe her.
‘Come on, now,’ says Horse, as he and Willow arrive back in the kitchen smelling of the cold night air in town. There’s a touch of woodsmoke clinging to their clothes from open fires being lit and hot, spicy food. ‘Let’s eat.’
Willow puts the bag from the takeaway on the table, sticking his nose into it, breathing in deeply and then grinning widely.
I pull some plates from the cupboard, none of them matching. They’re all ones that I’ve liked and bought from different charity shops.
‘They’re not warm, I’m afraid.’
‘Don’t worry,’ says Horse and takes them from me, then runs them under the hot tap at the sink and dries them. I take them back and hold them against me, feeling the warmth radiate into my chest. At least, I’m sure it is the plates.
I put them down on the table. ‘Would you get some knives and forks, Willow?’ I say as I fill a jug of water at the sink.
With everything in place, we dive into the bag and peel back the cardboard lids of the silver foil trays, each one releasing a different aroma and promise of deliciousness.
‘We got it from the place in town, opposite the supermarket,’ Horse says. ‘Willow saw his young friend in there.’
‘Oh yes – the girl you met yesterday, Willow? What’s her name?’ I ask.
‘Khadiza,’ says Willow. ‘She lives there with her parents. She’s the same age as me. She helped choose the dishes, told me which ones were best.’
Horse unwraps a large, warm, toasted naan bread and sets it in the centre of the table along with three dishes of fluffy rice.