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‘Hi,’ he says, with a friendly wave to me. ‘We spoke to the estate agency earlier. They said there was a viewing, and we could tag on afterwards?’

A woman gets out of the car too and looks around. I can see two sulking teenagers in the back seats: one staring at a phone, the other with headphones on.

‘Er, yes – please, carry on,’ I say with a gesture of welcome, although it feels as if I’m inviting people to come in and rifle through my underwear drawer. ‘I’ll be right here if you have any questions.’

‘It’s in the middle of nowhere,’ says one of the teenagers as they get out of the car. He looks aghast, as if he’s landed on another planet.

‘What’s the signal like?’ says the other.

‘Shocking!’

And they both get back into the car and stare at their screens.

Chapter 7

Scarlett and Luke take their time viewing the whole property, and I’m outside again when they eventually emerge from the farmhouse doorway.

‘Bye, Willow,’ Luke calls back towards the kitchen. I don’t know if Willow replies, but once again I’m struck by how kind Luke seems. He may look like something from a modern-day boy band, but his manners are second to none. If I had a son, I think, I’d want him to be like this young man.

‘We’ll be off. Thanks again for letting us look round,’ he says, with a wave to me. Scarlett is already heading towards the Audi, beeping her key, and it lights up as it unlocks. I’m not sure I’ve ever locked my car in all my time living here.

‘Oh, no problem,’ I say. It’s getting chilly now, and I’m keen to get inside and back to the warmth and comfort of the kitchen. ‘Sorry that I forgot you were coming.’

‘We’ve had a good look round. Got an idea of how things could work for us. Scarlett’s impressed.’

‘Good, good,’ I say, knowing that I should be really pleased but somehow not feeling that way.

‘She’s got another couple of places to view. But if it was just down to me, I’d say this was a contender!’ He smiles, mimicking the daily house-hunting TV shows, making me laugh. ‘We’ll be in touch. She may want to come for a second viewing, if that’s okay. Get some measurements so we can talk to builders.’

‘That’s fine.’ I wave a hand. ‘Just speak to the agent, they’ll text me . . . or feel free to turn up. I’m not great at checking my phone. But I’m mostly around.’ And I try not to think about how it will feel when I’m not here.

As I head inside, Lara appears in the doorway from the direction of the downstairs toilet, carrying her coat over her arm. ‘All sorted,’ she says, clearly having brushed the coat down.

Luke raises a hand and calls to her, ‘It was nice to meet you, er . . .’

‘Lara,’ Lara calls back in reply, and I smile again at his friendliness. He’s like Dinky the dog – young and eager to please. ‘And you, Luke,’ Lara adds, letting a little glimpse of Lara the young woman show, rather than Lara the social worker with a huge amount of responsibility on her shoulders. They smile at each other. It’s really rather sweet.

Later that night, when Willow is in bed, I hear him talking to Tegan, reliving the events of Dinky’s escape and laughing. It’s magical to hear. Simple, soft laughter as he retells the adventure. It’s like music to my ears, and not the ghastly music that will soon be coming from Christmas Tree World.

Over the next few days there are more viewers, some of whom only want to nose around, I’m sure. Gareth comes round with a bunch of flowers for me to apologize for being quite so opinionated at the suggestion of Willow staying here. He says he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship and he’s here to support me, so I take the tulips and thank him. He brings out his golf clubs, but Willow isn’t interested when Gareth tries to show him the perfect stance for hitting the ball, or how to twist his body and turn himself into the next Tiger Woods or whoever the current champion is. He’s much more interested in helping with the ducks and Gloria, and in walking and running with Tegan. But still he barely eats. He eats some toast but gives most of it to Tegan. It’s the same even with cakes, and frozen pizza.

There have been more viewings but no offers yet, I tell Gareth. And even if there were, what would happen to Willow? There’s no talk of a new family for him yet. But moving can take months, I know that. By the time the surveys have been done, searches and contracts, I’m sure a family will have been found for him and we’ll be planning his move, too.

The following week Lara visits again, this time with her colleague Judith, to interview me as an official kinship carer for Willow. They let me know what to expect going forward, and we work our way through their long list of questions. It’s an exhausting process. I find myself talking to them about my marriage to Paddy and his illness, and what takes me by surprise is that we even discuss the rather intimate details of us not having had a family of our own. I remember Lara saying to me on her last visit that this conversation would be ‘vigorous’, and she was right: it’s draining, dredging up memories that I thought had long since been laid to rest.

My phone rings just as our meeting is ending. Lara takes Judith outside to show her the views and the forest as I pick up the phone from its place on the tidied dresser, where it’s now surprisingly easy to find things. It’s the estate agent I’m using to buy my new flat, calling to find out how the sale of the farm is progressing. I reassure him that I’m still set on the property and remind him that I’ve paid my deposit. And then he reminds me that I need to complete before the end of the year, otherwise I’ll lose the deposit.

‘I’m sure it won’t come to that,’ I tell him, trying to reassure myself. The farm has had lots of interest, after all, and I definitely can’t afford to lose the deposit.

As I finish the call, I glance out the window and see Lara walking Judith to her car. I get up and step outside to wish her goodbye.

‘Well, I’ll be going,’ says Judith, smiling at me. ‘It was lovely to meet you, Gwen. I’m so sorry if this assessment was difficult, talking about your life with your husband. It can be quite arduous. But we must do right by everyone, particularly Willow.’

‘Thank you,’ I say, shaking her hand. I’m feeling a bit wobbly, almost like I did after Paddy’s funeral, when everything seemed so unreal. ‘Safe journey.’

It’s a little overwhelming to realize that this woman’s take on me and my home will be of such importance to both me and Willow – it’s the deciding factor in whether I’ll be able to keep him safe until his new family can be found. We really need her to decide that this slightly chaotic little farm, the animals and the house with its many quirks – okay, maintenance issues – are good enough. Please let it be good enough, I think as she drives slowly away, avoiding the potholes.

‘Well done,’ says Lara, standing beside me. ‘I’m officially off duty now,’ she adds, looking at me and taking in my tense expression. ‘Let’s go and check on Willow. He’s done well to stay put and watch Ratatouille on my iPad in his bedroom.’