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He looks at me like he’s reluctant to go, or perhaps like he wants to say something. But he just smiles softly and leaves.
CHAPTER 31
Lincoln
Once we’ve removed the faulty fence post, Hank stops and looks at me. “I’m sorry. I need to address the elephant in the field.” He laughs. “We know you and Hattie are…romantically involved. There’s no need to sneak around, okay?”
“We weren’t born yesterday, Linc,” Otto adds, then turns to Hank. “Plus, I just caught them smoochin’ in the kitchen.”
I drag a hand down my face. I should’ve known they couldn’t ignore this and mind their own business.
“I think it’s great,” Hank continues, using his pliers to remove a string of barbed wire from the old fence post. “I know I just discovered I have a daughter, and I’m a novice at this whole dad thing…but I can’t think of a better man to take care of Hattie than you, Linc.” He stops his work again and smiles at me. “You’re like a son to me.”
I clear my throat, trying to ignore the thickness settling there. I’m touched by his sentiment, but it also forms an unexpected lump in my gut.
Not even an hour ago, I was on cloud nine after kissing Hattie…and now that cloud is settling into a heavy weight of guilt pressing against me. Hattie and I tried to keep our relationship to ourselves, knowing how complicated the situation was already without adding others’ expectations. Despite our best intentions, Hank acts like we’re halfway down the aisle. It’s a lot of pressure on a situation that’s already fraying and about to snap.
After my heart to heart with Owen and Jackson yesterday, I was ready to lay my heart out there. To tell Hattie everything I’m thinking and feeling, to urge her to stay. But I don’t want to pressure her to move here. How would I feel if everyone was pressuring me to move to California? If everyone had expectations I might not meet?
My instincts are screaming at me not to pile more pressure on her. To give her the freedom to make her choice…whatever that may be. I can’t beg her to try long distance when I can’t get on a plane without having a panic attack. Either she flies to me, or I drive eighteen hours to her.
She’s spent her whole life taking her mother’s orders, living under pressure. Being manipulated to perform and to train.
My head is spinning, and my chest is tight. When Hank speaks again, I nearly jump out of my skin. I’m tightly wound.
“I’m going to talk to Owen about renovating the upper portion of the mare barn that’s unused. Turn it into a barndominium for Hattie when she comes to visit.” Hank smiles as he talks about his plans for his daughter. “I’m hoping he can renovate the guest barn as well. It’s about time.”
I nod. “That’s a great idea.”
It’s different for Hank. He’s her dad. Renovating a space for her will only make her feel welcome. Not guilt her into upending her whole life and moving here.
If things end badly between me and her, which is bound to happen if we try a long-distance relationship—she might not be as prone to come visit Hank and Otto.
I’m stuck in an impossible situation, one of my own making.
Even if I could force myself onto an airplane, I know deep down it’s never going to work. How could it with a thousand miles separating us?
As I work alongside Hank and Otto, listening to them prattle on about the barndominium plans they found online, the weight in my gut seems to grow heavier and heavier.
“Your dad would’ve loved Hattie,” Hank says softly, drawing me out of my thoughts.
I glance over from where I’m installing a new fence post and find him looking at me with a thoughtful smile.
“His son and my daughter?” Hank releases a sigh. “I wish he were here to witness it.”
I swallow, my mouth tasting bitter.
“Yeah, he’d adore her,” the statement rolls off my lips easily, because it’s true. Dad would’ve been obsessed with the idea of me marrying Hank’s daughter and joining our families together. Mom, too.
Otto’s knowing gaze studies me as he rests against a fence post. He’s always been better at reading between the lines than Hank, of quietly observing and understanding what’s going on inside someone’s head.
I don’t meet his gaze, because I can’t let him see what’s there.
I end the workday feeling completely wiped out. More mentally than physically. My brain has whiplash from Hattie’s announcement she’s leaving Sunday, then my talk with Owen and Jackson, my kiss with Hattie, and finally Hank and Otto’s excitement about their plans to surprise her with her own space.
I’m in a foul mood as I drive home and shower, yanking on some clean clothes for Hoedown. An evening I was anticipating all week—minus the dunk tank. I was looking forward to seeing it all through Hattie’s eyes. Now, it feels like I’m about to get thrown off a bucking bronco.
Instead of pouring my heart out to Hattie, I know what I have to do.