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CHAPTER 24

NOEL

Mel and Andie are in my living room less than an hour later. We all have freshly brewed coffee and tea in our hands, even though I can’t stomach the smell or taste of coffee at the moment.

“What’s going on? Is it the online comments?” Mel asks, setting her tea down on the small table nearby. “I know they’re harsh, but people are bored and have nothing better to do than comment on random stuff.”

I’ve been vigilant about staying off the internet, but now I’m too curious to refrain any longer. I plunk my mug down on the side table and rush to my office to get my laptop. By the time I’m back in the living room, I’ve already Googled my own name and am reading through comments on a stalker-level Colby Knight fan account. They even have photos of us bungee jumping during my evening with an Eagle. Photos I never even cared enough about, until now, to look up.

I start reading through the comments on that first, gasping at one from PuckBunny69. I read it aloud to the girls, “Colby could have any girl he wants, and he’s hanging out with this limp string-bean?”

Andie jumps up from her chair, half spilling her coffee in the process. She lunges, trying to grab the laptop from me. I yank it away and keep reading.

“MrsKnight27 says, ‘He should’ve just dropped her off the platform and let her fall to her death.’”

Mel and Andie gasp. “Damn, that’s heartless,” Andie says.

“This might be even worse than the article that came out about you and Mitch,” Mel tells her with wide eyes.

Back in the spring, Mitch was suspended and had to coach her brother’s hockey team to rebuild his image. When they got together, an article came out accusing her of sleeping with her brother’s coach to earn special favors. The whole thing almost caused them to break up.

I’m on a roll now, so I read the next comment too, “ColbysMistress<3 says, SpongeBob SquarePants has more curves than this girl. I give it one week before he leaves her for someone else.”

I scroll down to a photo of Colby blowing me a kiss last night, a moment that felt so special to me. The first comment reads, big deal, Colby has kissed half the women in D.C. Another person replied to this comment saying, AND slept with the other half.

I don’t read these out loud.

My hands go limp, and Andie gently removes the laptop from my fingers. “I think that’s enough internet for today,” she says.

Mel gets up and wraps me in a hug. “It’s okay, people are mean when they’re jealous.”

I scoff. “They have nothing to be jealous of. Colby only blew me a kiss to make me look desirable in front of Dexter or something.” I pull out of her arms and flop back onto my couch.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Andie asks, her voice hesitant.

I sit up and drag my hands down my face. Conflicted about sharing all of my deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings. “Well, yeah. That’s how it started. But I’ve been spending so much time with Colby and getting to know him. And he’s wonderful.”

Their faces soften at my confession, and I continue, “he’s sweet, and funny, and thoughtful. And have you seen him? He wore a sweater-vest to one of our practice dates, and I almost swooned on sight. A sweater-vest has no business looking that hot!”

“So, once you got to know him, you started falling?” Mel eyes me with compassion.

I don’t answer. Because we all know I’m falling for him. The entire nation. Because it’s written all over my face in the kiss-blowing photos.

“And what about Dexter?” Andie asks, picking up her coffee and taking a sip. I get the feeling she’s trying to hide a smile, like she knew I’d forget all about Dexter once I got to know Colby.

I sigh. “Dexter will be a great guy for some girl out there. Someone who loves British accents and philosophy.”

The girls start laughing and so do I. My heart lifts, knowing these two are here for me no matter what. No judgment that I’ve been all over the place, not knowing what I wanted. But people change their minds, and sometimes life takes trial and error. We’re allowed to grow and change to ebb and flow. And if I can give myself grace, then I need to extend that to Colby too. He’s not who he used to be. He doesn’t want to hurt me, or anyone. I can’t hold his past against him. And I can’t compare him to Travis.

But there’s still that niggling feeling in the back of my mine that wonders if he really wants me. Or is he just flirting to flirt? Because his heart might not be as caught up in this as mine is. Leaning forward in my seat, I ask the girls, “do you think he even likes me though?”

Mel slinks back in her seat with a dramatic groan and Andie yells, “are you kidding me?!”

“You are so blind,” Mel says with an eyeroll.

“The man is totally smitten with you!” Andie agrees, still half-shouting.

I wave them off. “Flirting with me and falling for me are two vastly different things.”