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“You’re favorite!” She sighs. “I wish you’d stop paying me. I’m married now, and you’re my son! It’s ridiculous.”

“It would cost me twice as much to pay someone else, Ma. It’s not a big deal.” I shrug.

She shakes her head, moving back to my gigantic, stainless-steel stove and stirring the soup. “How was practice?”

I hop onto a barstool behind the large island and tell her about practice, it reminds me of when I was a kid. Except now I have my own 5,000 square foot house. “Oh, and then Coach asked me to donate myself for charity.”

Her head snaps in my direction. “What?”

I laugh and tell her about the charity auction. She looks slightly relieved when I explain it, but still concerned. “I don’t like it. Why do you have to go out with random women? Aren’t you ever going to settle down?” A smile tugs at the corners of her lips. “Just look how happy me and Charlie are.”

I grin at that. I love seeing her happy. She was crushed when my dad was unfaithful, I don’t think she ever believed she’d fall in love again. But Charlie is probably the only man deserving of her. The guy is as close to a saint as you can get, working as a family advocate for the foster care system. They got married last year, and still act like they’re on their honeymoon.

“I’m young, Ma. I have wild oats to sow,” I say with a smirk. But I haven’t been sowing any oats lately. The idea doesn’t thrill me anymore.

She seems surprised at my answer. “You’re about to turn thirty! I’d love to see you married to a nice girl and have some children. You’d be such a great father.” Ma grows serious. “But you’re not going to find your wife if you continue gallivanting around and being auctioned off like a Chip and Dale dancer!” She turns her back on me, annoyed again.

Yeah, I haven’t gallivanted in a year. I can’t even muster the desire to go out to bars and meet anyone. Maybe I really am getting old.

“Ma, chill out. It’s an evening with an Eagle, not a date. Probably some old guy who’s been an Eagles fan forever will win it. I’ll skate around with them at the team’s iceplex, we’ll snap a few photos together, and it’ll all be over. No big deal.”

She purses her lips. “I hope you’re right. Because there are a lot of crazy women out there with a lot of money to throw around.”

“Always the protective mother.” I smile fondly and she gives me a hesitant smile back.

“It’s difficult to turn off the parenting-mode. Sorry.”

“Maybe you and Charlie will have a few kids, then you’ll be too exhausted to worry about me,” I tease.

“I’m too old to have any more kids, Colby. Physically and mentally,” she says with a forced laugh. We make eye contact for a brief moment before her gaze moves away from mine. I know we’re thinking the same thing… Dad isn’t too old to have children. Hence my baby sister.

It hurts my heart that Ma didn’t meet Charlie sooner. She was the best mother anyone could ask for, and had her life gone differently, I think she would’ve had a whole brood of children.

I picture her as a grandmother as I watch her cook, seamlessly moving from bowl to bowl, mixing and stirring and sautéing. I can see her baking cookies with her grandkids, not caring about the mess.

An ache pangs in my chest, something that’s becoming more and more familiar. An ache for a family of my own. A partner to share my life with, kids to fill the rooms in this big house. A family of my own.

A year ago, I was playing the game, thinking it was the time of my life. That I was in my prime. But I’m beginning to wonder if I was doing it all wrong. Spending a life with one woman isn’t boring, it’s poignant. It’s like making it to the NHL, you work impossibly hard for it, and then strive to keep it. You focus every day on that one thing, put all your best effort in. I want that kind of relationship. I’m ready for it.

CHAPTER 4

NOEL

Saturday I quickly check the online portal to make sure my students have submitted their quizzes. We’re a barely a month into the semester, and I don’t have any research papers to read and grade yet. I’m soaking up my relaxing Saturdays while I still can.

Everyone has completed the quizzes I assigned, except for one of the athletes who tried to get me to extend the deadlines. I sigh. Why am I not surprised?

I know I shouldn't lump all athletes together in one big box… a box I’d label irritating. But it’s also hard not to when they fail to prove themself different time and time again.

Weston Kershaw is the only one who keeps proving me wrong. And I’m happy about that… because if he broke my friend’s heart, I’d never be able to beat him up for it. He’s too big and muscular. Thankfully, he’s a good guy, and he’d never hurt her.

Remy and Bruce seem alright too, though I don’t know them that well. Mitch never smiles, but he does appear to make Andie happy. I won’t hold his broody attitude against him.

But Colby Knight? Yeah, he’d be just like the hockey boys in my class, using his dimpled grin to get out of work.

Logging off my work computer in my office, which used to be Mel’s room, I grab a book from one of my bookshelves and carry it into the living room to read. Right as I get comfy with a big, fluffy blanket, my phone rings with a FaceTime request. Glancing at my screen, I see it’s my sister, Helen. My shoulders relax, she’s the least dramatic of my siblings. Even though the two born in between us are boys. Yes, there are four of us.

You’d think there was nothing better to do in the tiny Maryland town I grew up in other than procreate… and you’d be right.