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He waits a few seconds before responding, “Focus on what you can do in the situation. Not what you can’t control. Love is risky, Mitch. You can’t make someone stay. But you can put in the work, and you can communicate with her.”
I nod my head even though he can’t see me. “Yeah, okay. You’re right.”
“Are you still listening to your audiobooks?”
“Yeah,” I tell him with a sigh. Not feeling better after this conversation… but also not feeling worse, I guess.
“Prepare your mind for the conversation with Andie, take a long walk, listen to your book, calm your mind.”
“Okay, I can do that.”
“Good,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “I have faith in you. And I can tell you really care about this girl. Whatever happens, remember you’re worthy of love, worthy of happiness.”
“Thanks. Hey, Doc?”
“Yes, Mitch?”
I roll my lips together, trying to get the words out. The words I need to say, but am not sure I really want to. “I know my mandatory anger management is done, but can I continue seeing you?”
“Of course.” If he’s surprised, he hides it well. “Should I save your Tuesday morning slot?”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
Fifteen minutes later, I’m changed into joggers, a long sleeved tee, and a puffer vest to keep my core warm. I turn on my noise-canceling headphones, then check my phone, seeing nothing from Andie. My heart sinks but I force myself outside for a long walk. It’s cold here in Canada, but at least it’s not snowing. My new audiobook is a self-help book about building healthy relationships and improving your emotional intelligence.
You know, just a little light reading to calm my stress.
Maybe I’ll go back to the smutty hockey one instead. I cringe at the thought.
Thirty minutes into my walk, my phone rings. My heart nearly leaps out of my chest when I see it’s Andie. I fumble around with my headphones, trying to figure out how to answer the phone while wearing them. Thankfully, I must tap the correct button because I hear her sweet, perfect voice filling my ears. I swear my heart rate calms just at the sound of her, and the stress of the last few days eases just a little.
“Mitch?”
“Andie, thanks for calling me back.”
She’s quiet, waiting for me to speak.
“I’m so sorry. I have a lot to say, I’m trying to find the words—”
“I’m at work. We’re swamped today. Can we talk later tonight?”
I release a heavy sigh. I wish I could go to her right now. But my contract with the NHL and all that. “It’s okay, don’t apologize. As soon as our game’s over tonight, we’re getting on our flight back to D.C. Can we talk tomorrow?”
“Okay, I’m off tomorrow.” She sighs. “I hate that we haven’t talked.”
“I know.” I shake my head. “I’m so sorry. I just—”
A voice comes over the intercom at the hospital. “I’ve gotta go, talk to you later.”
She hangs up before I can say goodbye.
* * *
Our game went better tonight. We won 3-2 in overtime. I feel like our defense, namely myself, sucked. So Bruce held us together by blocking forty-one shots from the Thunder Bay Thunderbolts.
How the guys stay focused when they have families back home is a new mystery to me. I always thought they might enjoy having a break, some time away. But no. It sucks. It really freaking sucks.
Being away from someone and trying to sort things out is excruciating. It’s so much simpler to talk things out in person, to see their face, their reactions. To hear their tone clearly.
