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That feeling only intensified when I woke up to this news. Can our marriage withstand this kind of public scrutiny? We’re already struggling as it is.

I should probably brainstorm other ways to help Madden’s campaign survive, but I can’t focus. If the public turns against us, we’ve lost the election before it even begins. What will be the point of our marriage then? If all of this is bound to end soon, I need a backup plan.

I need a job.

I sit up on my king bed and pull my laptop open. It’s about time I do some research on freelance assisting. I’ve been stuck in this mindset, feeling down on myself because I’m nearly thirty and have no idea where my life is headed. Meeting the needs of my parents and Madden helped give me purpose, but it was just a smokescreen. I lost myself somewhere in this process.

I don’t know how long I sit there scouring job listings, glasses perched on my nose, a pencil stuck in my messy bun, and notebooks surrounding me. Suddenly, I hear the front door open and close. Madden’s footsteps grow louder until there’s a gentle knock on my door.

“Come in,” I say hesitantly, not looking forward to being alone with Madden after last night.

He opens the door and his eyes fly open as he takes in the notebooks on the bed. “What’s all this?”

“I was doing research on freelance political assisting.”

“Oh.” His mouth twists in irritation. “I thought maybe you’d take Paul up on his job offer.”

I shrug, feeling a bit defensive. “If our marriage ends soon, I need to figure out what the next step is for me.”

“We’re in the middle of a crisis, and this was the first thing you decided to do?”

“What do you expect me to do?” I retort with a little more sass than I intended.

“I am sorry about last night. The thought of having children was... unexpected.” He awkwardly shuffles from one foot to the other. “But just because I need space doesn’t mean I’m ready to give up on us.”

I watch him skeptically. He’s so hot and cold sometimes that I don’t know if I should trust what he says.

“The tension between us is unbearable. And I despise sleeping alone.” Madden runs his hands through his hair nervously. “I can barely sleep without you by my side now.”

Is he serious? He just wants a bed buddy? “You can’t keep going back and forth like this. I’m sorry that you despise sleeping alone, but you’re the one who chose that.”

“It’s not just about our sleeping arrangement. Listen, when I was with Jen… I felt… I don’t know.” He sighs in frustration. “It’s really difficult for me to open up and be vulnerable now.”

“I hate that she broke your heart,” I say, my voice is softer now. “But if you’re not willing to be vulnerable, you’ll never even have the chance for a successful relationship.”

Madden nods. “I know you’re right. It’s just a slow process. I wish I’d at least had a good example of a loving marriage growing up like you did. My parents despise each other.”

I grimace. “I have noticed some tension there. ”

He begins to speak but then stops himself, struggling for words. Finally, he says, “When Jen ended things, she said I’m just like my dad, that I always put my work first and never prioritize her... I’ve never told anyone she said that, but it… it ripped me up inside.” He looks up at me with exhausted eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s awful, Madden. I’m so sorry she said that to you.” I think for a few seconds before speaking. “But what if by pushing me away, you’re proving her right? Just because your mom resents your dad doesn’t mean that has to be your future as well.”

“I’ve been wondering about that myself, lately.” He breathes a shuddering sigh. “But I’m trying to change. Will you be patient with me?”

My eyebrows draw together as I think. “Honestly, it’s hard for me to be patient. You give up on us so easily.” I close my eyes to keep my tears from falling. “Madden, I want it all. I want a marriage filled with love, a house with children running around, and a husband who’s willing to give 110% when necessary–someone I can trust my heart with.” My voice cracks. “And you are the only man I’ve ever been able to picture that life with. I know that wasn’t the original purpose of our marriage, but... I think we could be happy.”

Madden walks over and sits on the edge of the bed. “I want to try to be that man for you, Odette. I may have ruined this, but I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m glad you’re willing to try,” I say quietly. “But maybe I need some space now.”

Disappointment flits across his face. “If that’s what you want–”

Madden stops talking abruptly when I hear my phone ring. I see it’s my mom and my shoulders tense. I answer quickly. “Hello?”

“Sweetheart.” Her voice sounds strained. “We were watching the morning news, and they said something about leaked documents. About you and Madden.”

My stomach drops. I’m not ready to have this conversation with my parents. I look over at Madden, his expression one of grim concern. He’s sitting close enough to hear our conversation. “Mom, Madden’s campaign team is working hard to–”