Page 40

9:30 pm

I was sitting in the chair in the room, watching my baby, when my phone buzzed on my lap. I thought it was a text from Amir telling me to come downstairs, only it was a text from him asking for the room number.

I sent the room number to him quickly, but I never expected him to come up. Visitation was over at 10:00, so he could only be up here for the next 30 minutes.

I could, however, stay overnight because I’m his parent, so I wasn't leaving his side. While waiting on him, I jumped up, went into the restroom to fix myself up as much as I could here without a makeup bag or that comb Crew suggested I get. I instead ran water in my hand to make the hairs in my ponytail lie down, and then washed water over my face to wake myself up again. I noticed in the mirror that my skin was so pale because I wasn’t eating as I should. Grief and morning sickness had my entire appearance looking harsh, but it was something I couldn’t help. I heard two quick knocks at the door, and then I walked over quickly, deciding at the last minute to slow myself down so I won’t look so anxious or desperate.

When I opened the door, Amir was standing there looking like the breath of fresh air I didn’t even know I needed. His curly hair hung low over his ears, one loose coil falling slightly over his left eyebrow. I used to think I liked him better with braids, but seeing him like this had me realizing his natural hair was giving braids competition.

“Hey.”

“Hey. “How are you?” I stepped back so that he could come into the room.

“I’m okay, and you?”

“I’m alright. Sorry it took so long. I was stuck in traffic and had to grab something to eat.”

“That’s good.”

His voice was low and smooth, but I could hear the exhaustion in it. As soon as he stepped inside, he walked straight over to my son’s bed, reaching into his pocket and pulling something out that I couldn’t fully see from where I stood.

He glanced back at me.

“Do you mind if I pray for him?”

“No, I don’t. I’m accepting all prayers right now.”

“Alright, say no more.”

Once he lifted his hands, I could see that he had some kind of beads lying across them before he started speaking softly under his breath. I couldn’t understand anything he was saying, but it wasn’t because he was talking too low. Amir was speaking in another language for his prayer, but I trusted his words still.

Once he was done, Amir bent down and pressed a kiss against my baby’s forehead. I didn’t know if it was part of the prayer or if he was genuinely that sincere. Either way, it touched me so much that I wanted to cry.

For a second, I just stood there watching him. A man I barely knew was standing over my child like he’d been sent there specifically to bring peace into all the chaos surrounding me. The first time I met Amir, I would’ve never expected this vibe from him. He was indeed reckless then, but now I see he has a different side to him.

When he looked up at me, I looked the other way to make it seem like I hadn’t been staring at him the entire time.

“Where were you sitting?”

“On this side.” I pointed to the right of Rj’s bed.

“Alright then, I’ll go sit over here.”

He moved toward the chair on the opposite side of the bed.

“Wait.”

He looked over at me.

“Do you mind sitting near me? I wanted to talk, and I know I might sound crazy, but I don’t want to talk too loudly. I want my baby to be at peace, and I’ve read things saying that even though he is in a coma, he can still hear us.”

“Oh, I’m sure he can, but that’s no problem with me,” Amir said without hesitation, pulling the chair closer to mine.

Amir sat down, leaning back in the chair.

“So, what was that in your hand when you prayed for my baby?”

“Oh, these.” He held the beads in his hand.