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“What do you mean you don’t want it? Millions of dollars, I’m sure, and you don’t want it?”
“Thirty million and it’s true. I’m giving most of it to charity, and I will still be regular ol me after I sign this paperwork.”
Delilah laughed again, but this time the sound slowly faded once she realized I wasn’t laughing with her.
“Wait, you are serious, Amir?”
“Dead serious.”
She leaned back against the seat, staring at me like she was trying to process whether I’d lost my damn mind or if she had heard wrong.
“Amir, if you are telling the truth, that is irresponsible as hell.”
“How?”
“Because you have a kid on the way now. A child who could potentially have lupus one day, too. Do you understand how expensive medical care is for this disease? What if something happens to me? What if something happens to you? What if your child needs something later in life that you can’t predict right now? Why give all that money away? That is security for our family?”
“Because I hated my father. That man treated me like shit my whole life. Nothing with him was about love, but power, control, money, and fear. I watched him ruin people’s lives with money, ruin his kids' way of thinking with it, too. So no, I don’t want anything that was once connected to Mecca. Not his money, not his businesses, not any of that shit. I hate I have to carry that nigga’s last name to be honest.”
“But babe, look at it like this. That thirty million dollars is the payback for all those years of him being a horrible person to you. This is the one good thing that can come out of all the pain he caused you.”
“Well, it doesn’t feel good to me.”
“That’s because you are still angry with him personally, Amir. Not the money. You are making a permanent decision based on hurt.”
“It ain’t hurt. I just don’t need his money.”
“You say that now because you’ve never had to think beyond yourself before. Now you do.”
She grabbed my forearm.
“Baby, the biggest thing is that we have a child coming now. One that could potentially deal with health problems later in life. I must reiterate that.”
“Delilah, when I made that decision, I didn’t know that I had a child on the way, and I damn sure didn’t know that you had lupus. It would’ve been good to know, but I knew neither one of those facts, so why throw it in my face now?” I replied, more aggressively than I meant to.
Delilah seemed to shut down instantly after I said that. She turned towards the window, shaking her head with her nose turned up. Her arms folded across her chest, and I knew then that I had pissed her off.
“Delilah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” I tried to grab her arm, but she jerked it away from me.
“Don’t touch me, Amir.”
“Don’t take that personally, Delilah. It came out wrong.”
“How else am I supposed to take it? You feel a way about my lupus and this baby, and it’s evident now, so just take me home and go to your meeting without me. Do what you want to do. That’s all you’ve ever seemed to do ever since I’ve known you anyway.”
“What the fuck does that mean, Delilah?”
“It means that you’re a good person, true enough, but you’re an even better person to yourself.”
“So you’re saying that I’m selfish? If that’s the case, then say it and don’t use that therapist shit on me right now, talking in riddles and shit.”
“Take me home now! I don’t want to talk about this anymore! Take me home!”
Her voice cracked, and I didn’t want to argue with her and upset her even more, so I turned the car around in that moment to take her home and let her cool down. I also needed my space, too.
I’m going to just put my meeting with Bishelli off for the day, because as much as I hated to admit it, some things she was saying had gotten to me.
I’m not sure how taking a quick drive to clear my head ended with me parked across the street from my mother, Erika’s house, but somehow that is where my mind led me.
