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She looked startled, her eyes a reddened mess, as if a storm were raging inside her.

“You're not going to run away again,” I murmured.

I hated it when she left as if I had hurt her, because I hadn't, and yet she was acting so strangely.

“I was honest with you,” I began, fixing my gaze on her aventurine-colored irises. “Now you be honest, too.” And then I asked something that had been burning on the tip of my tongue for what felt like an eternity. “Why do you hurt yourself?”

Julie pulled her right sleeve down further and began playing with her fingers again.

“I've stopped.”

She avoided my question. Just as I had expected.

“That wasn't my question.”

She bit her lower lip and looked away.

I tried not to stare at her lips, hating that this small movement sent a pleasant tingling sensation through my stomach.

“That life there... in the Circle...” she finally began, turning toward my desk, walking over to it, where she reached for the mother-of-pearl jewelry box in which I had kept the ring. “It took a lot out of me.” She opened the box. “There were times when I didn’t know if I wanted to go on living.” She ran her fragile index finger over the rainbow-colored shimmering inside of the lid, where the silver, engraved symbol of a shell was located. “But then I realized that the other Air Quatura had somehow survived it, too.” She pressed her lips together. “And I knew I couldn’t kill myself.” There was a hint of bitterness in her quiet laugh. “Even though I just wanted to forget.”

So it really did have something to do with living in this hell...

There was just one thing I didn't understand.

“You're talking about the Air Quatura...” I began thoughtfully. “What...”

“You have my answer,” Julie interrupted me and turned to face me. “I have to go to my lecture now.” She stepped toward me, looking at me more demanding than I was used to from her. “Please, let me go.”

With inner resistance, I stepped aside.

Julie grabbed the elegantly ornate iron handle, opened the door, and stepped into the hallway.

When I looked out, she was already walking down the hallway toward the large staircase.

I wanted to know what the Circle was doing to them. The feeling that these crazy people were even more twisted than I had already suspected grew stronger every time I got to know Julie better.

The thought of getting to know her at all bothered me. I should have used my honest question to ask about J, not her.

Annoyed, I closed the door.

I wondered what J was doing right now. Was she sitting in a lecture? Maybe she was walking through the library or reading one of the books she had always told me about... the ones she had sent me...

I could no longer ignore the suffocating tightness in my chest. It was a longing pain, and I didn't know if it would eventually bring me to my knees if I didn't make a decision soon.

Did she think about me as often as I thought about her, or had she long since forgotten me? What if she was waiting for me to text her?

I realized that I had started twirling the double ring on my finger and slowly walked to the window before taking my phone out of my pocket.

I opened our chat history.

With my heart pounding, I read my last message. The one I hadn't dared to send.

My heart was pounding wildly, as if commanding me to finally send this goddamn message.

My finger hovered over the send button.

With a deep breath and growing nervousness... I sent the message.