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For a moment, her gaze seemed fixed, and it took her a while before she nodded again, which I took as a sign to continue.

“But then there was an accident that took his mother's life.”

I looked at her searchingly and sensed I was touching on something very sensitive.

“After that, Graham, his father, moved with him and Mia, his little sister, to the outskirts of town. They lived there under a contract with the Quatura. That's where we met.”

Tania seemed confused. “Nickolas allowed that?”

“Alarik apparently intervened to give Julian time to process his mother's death, which was why the Alpha stayed out of it. At least until a few months ago.”

“He did?” Her gaze pierced me. “Alarik?”

Was she glad that at least one member of the pack cared about Julian?

It was hard for me not to lay everything out in front of her and confront her. I was angry that Graham had had to lie for this woman for so long. But it wasn't really my business. It was just sobering to be unable to do anything for Julian, to be powerless.

“He's pretty supportive of Julian,” I continued, concentrating. “But I have a feeling Alarik is supportive of everyone in this town.”

He had rescued me – a useless nobody to him – from many predicaments, even though I didn't quite know what he got out of it.

Tania continued to listen to me with that empty look on her unusually pale face, as if she weren't quite there mentally.

“Anyway, Julian struggled a lot with himself, often picked fights with Nash, and is no longer part of the pack.”

“With Nash? Don't they get along?”

“They do. Sort of. But Nash seems to hold it against him that he turned his back on the pack.”

Tania nodded and stared into the distance.

“Then how was Julian able to transform unnoticed? Without the pack.”

Concern lingered in her eyes.

“He didn't,” I clarified, watching her expression freeze, and her gaze shift away from me. “Julian hates being a Senseque.” I watched her play with her hands. “He hates the pack.”

I looked back at the clearing, where a few young guys around Finn's age were tidying up training equipment, before I turned back to Tania, knowing that I had definitely hurt her. I tried not to blame myself, but hurting people wasn't something I usually did. I didn't put anyone on the spot.

Remorse automatically crept into my chest. I wanted to apologize, but Tania wouldn't understand. She looked so innocent, as if she would never be able to give her own child away. Now she seemed to struggle with feelings of guilt. Because of me.

I should never have talked about it. It was none of my business.

Tania looked up with a slight smile, and I knew it was taking all her strength to keep it up.

“That's probably why he disappeared,” she began. “His father's death must have shaken him.”

“I was there, Tania,” I said, swallowing hard and immediately regretting it. But I wanted her to have the slightest idea of what Julian must have gone through, what he was still going through. If I didn't, no one would prepare her for Julian's state of mind should he ever come back. “I saw Julian lose his father.”

Tania's eyes glazed over, and she put her hands around mine.

“I'm sorry.”

I tried to hold her gaze, but this time I broke away.

Painful memories flooded back, this time of Julian, of good times, of conversations, of a distracted Julian. But something else joined all the chaotic feelings. Remorse. Strong remorse.

Confused, I looked at our clasped hands.