Page 365

“God, Mia. You startled me.”

My former neighbor stood in front of me, wearing the same olive-green sweater she had been wearing all week. It was one that looked familiar to me. It belonged to Julian, just like the hoodie I had stolen from him.

Mia's hair was the same messy dark blonde bun, and it seemed as if every day another strand slipped out and hung loose. Her eyes reminded me of my mother's when I had last seen her. And Mia had lost weight... very quickly.

“I'm sorry... I didn't mean to...”

“No, it's okay...” I tried to smile.

I hadn't spoken to her because I had wanted her to come to me when she felt like it, when she was ready. I had offered it to her. Although I had feared she wouldn't see the point, here she was, standing next to me.

We stepped outside together, down the terrace, toward the Copelands' stone wolf fountain.

“Do you know where he might be?”

My heart began to beat faster and I stopped, shaking my head.

Mia's expression lost the glimmer of hope I hadn't seen once in the past weeks.

I felt miserable.

“I'm sorry...”

Mia just nodded and stared into space. Then she turned around.

“Mia...” She paused. “Wait, please. I want to talk to you about something.”

I wasn't going to tell her about Tania. That wasn't my job. But I couldn't leave her alone with all this crap any longer.

Mia turned back to me, and this time I met tired eyes.

“I really don't feel well, Bayla...”

“I know.” I tried to meet her gaze. “You miss him.”

Mia laughed bitterly.

“I was angry with him, you know? I was worried, and then I was just pissed off because he just disappeared like that.” She stepped closer. “But now I wonder if maybe he did the right thing by leaving this toxic place.” She looked around as if the trees could hear her. “All of this used to be our home.” She pointed to her surroundings. “Now I don’t even have a family anymore.” A tear ran down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. “And Julian? He runs away when things get serious.” Again, the bitter laugh that was uncharacteristic of her, before a faint glow appeared in her eyes. “I'm angry! Still. And I don't know if I'll ever forgive him.”

Sorrowfully, I placed my hand on her warm arm.

“You mean a lot to him,” I assured her.

A pain spread through my chest. One whose origin I didn't know. It came so suddenly, so overwhelmingly. As if I had lost something, someone. As if I were alone in this way too big world.

When I realized I could hardly breathe, I tried to concentrate on my thoughts, on Mia.

How often had Julian shown me that he put his family above everything else? The mere fact that he even put Emely second...

“You too, Bayla.” Something inside me turned to stone, and the feeling of loss disappeared abruptly. “When you moved here, I actually thought everything would get better. You distracted him.”

Distracted. Why did it feel exactly like that? As if I wasn't really a friend, but occasionally the girl with lots of problems, a welcome distraction.

“It's just that Julian likes to let people who are important to him down.”

There was something bitter in Mia's voice, and I didn't want to agree with her because I knew that everyone grieved differently. Even though I had never lost a loved one, there was this feeling of knowing deep loss.

Julian was gone because he needed time. At least, that's what I wanted to believe.