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I am a DeLoughrey.
What had changed?
“The Councils are powerful. They would find me, bring me back, and make sure I never set foot outside this town again. Especially in my current state.”
She looked directly at me. There was something in her gaze. A plea?
“Please, don’t pity me. I hate pity.”
She turned her gaze back down to the path.
“At some point, I came to terms with it, got used to enduring it.”
It always sounded painful when people said they had come to terms with their fate, almost as if they were saying yes to all the pain in their lives, no longer fighting back.
“It changes you somehow,” Julie continued.
A bird chirped in the distance of the forest, and more chirping sounded in the thicket, as if all the other birds were joining in. Above our heads, two ravens shot across the sky, chasing each other, before they flew in a wide arc and joined the raven on the forest path, from which Buddy had now turned away to sniff around in the bushes.
In the Copeland area, everything seemed so much more peaceful than in Fogs Forest.
“Knowing that there was once someone there who was like me. That's what really changes me.”
Julie's platinum blonde hair blended her appearance into the winter landscape. What had seemed gentle a few weeks ago was now gone. Her appearance was now cooler, her face more angular, sharper, but without losing any of its beauty.
I hoped she was eating enough. Especially for the baby's sake...
“It's like I have a mission.”
I sighed.
Her father had given her hope. A man no one was allowed to talk about because he probably hadn't done anything good. But who knew for sure...
“We're in the same boat,” I finally admitted, convinced that at least one thing connected us. “I also feel like I suddenly have a mission.”
“You can't just leave either, can you?”
Now I was the one who had to laugh. “The DeLoughreys wouldn't allow it any more than your family would.”
“At least you have a father who's alive,” Julie joked, and I felt a wave of unease wash over me.
I used a dry laugh to cover up this wound. “He seems to be the black sheep of the family.” I made quotation marks in the air. “Bastien and Adrian's brother. A renegade seeking the clan leader's forgiveness.” At least, according to my brother. “Miles hates him.”
“Do you know why?”
“Because he killed our mother and abandoned us.”
Julie had no response, but she scrutinized me.
She conveyed the same feeling she had given me when we had first met. Impartiality. Plus, it didn't feel wrong to talk openly about things that made me feel insecure just thinking about them.
“Our parents were all young and foolish once, just like us. Just look at me. I managed to get pregnant. At eighteen.”
Who on earth had told her that this said anything about her? Why were Vivienna, Amber, and Kelly – and now Grace too – so mean to her? They were all the same species, even part of the same family. Shouldn't they support each other?
“Julie, these things happen. Please don't blame yourself. The most important thing is that you and the baby are doing well.”
Envy spread through me, followed by shame and self-hatred.