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Immediately, she pulled her lab coat back, reminding me of last time.

She had thought I had wanted her to undress. She had wanted to unbutton her damn blouse. For me. If I had asked her to, she would have done it...

Images flashed through my mind. Julie without her blouse, wearing a white lace bra.

If I had asked her to, she would have taken off her bra and...

Fuck, no.

But it was too late. Immediately, I got hard.

I stared at Julie, trying to get the image of her swollen breasts out of my head, trying to think of J, which didn't make it any better.

Guilt flooded my aroused body and I despised myself deeply in that moment for letting such a thought enter my mind, allowing the anger to wash over me and take possession of my mind.

Julie looked at me with that goddamn innocent look as she rolled up her sleeve, having no idea that my mind was just imagining all the things I could do with her if she didn't say no.

Even more hatred, even more anger at myself...

J.

I tried to concentrate, clenching my hands into fists.

J is your woman. Fight for her, Quentin. Fight for her.

I stepped closer and grabbed Julie's arm, perhaps a little too roughly, because she flinched. But I didn't hesitate, quickly feeling for her vein, which, like last time, was difficult to find, and I regretted forgetting the tourniquet again.

Her skin was cool, yet I could feel her heartbeat, and there was something warm about it.

J. J is the only warm thing in your life, Quentin. Fight for her heart, damn it.

Without hesitation, I pushed the needle into her vein.

I heard her gasp and noticed how she turned her head away.

To make matters worse, her subtle rosy fragrance, slightly sweet, and the feminine note of her body scent hit me, and my cock pressed even harder against my pants.

I concentrated on her arm, and it felt like hours passed as I filled the syringes with her dark red blood. Three times. Then I bandaged her arm without checking even once to see if she was okay. I hoped so, hoped that I hadn't hurt her, that my anger wasn't affecting her too much, because I was angry at myself. It wasn't her fault.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I despised myself for not being in control of my body.

My gaze lingered on the many white scars, but staring now wouldn't make anything better. Quite the opposite.

Taking a deep breath, I turned away from her to sort the samples into my black plastic case, when I remembered that I had planned to do more with her.

My jaw tightened involuntarily.

I couldn't even just postpone it. My schedule was tight, and even though I only needed four hours of sleep a night, it didn't change that I only had four hours a week to experiment on her.

“Is that it?” Julie asked from behind me, as if she had read my mind.

I turned to her, grateful that my lab coat was covering my erection.

“Absolutely not,” I gritted out. “It’s perfect that you’re here. I wanted to test something on you anyway.” I stowed the blood in the lab cabinet next to the examination table and strode across the lab to the largest lab table, in the middle of which I had placed the pneumatic trough filled with water. “And for that, I need your ability.”

“What?” It sounded like a whisper of air behind me.