Page 142

She raised her hands in frustration without turning to me and began rummaging more frantically.

“Okay. All right... but... Are you sure?”

I had to be careful. So did she. If she was serious, it would mean she was willing to risk a lot.

“You're the daughter...”

“...of the Alpha? I know. I'm so sick of that title, believe me,” she snorted, her lips pressed together.

She sounded exhausted. As if she had had this discussion before.

“I'm constantly being reduced to that.”

“I'm sorry...”

“You shouldn't be. Stop apologizing for everything. It's annoying.”

“Um... okay...”

I didn't know what to say, so I remained silent and approached the desk again.

If Emely wanted to join in, then she should. I would be the last person to stop her.

“I must have gone crazy, just like all of you,” she laughed, sounding slightly hysterical.

“There's nothing wrong with wanting answers.”

I opened the next drawer, which was full of office supplies.

“I have a feeling they're all hiding something from us.”

And by now, I was sure of it.

Emely lowered the folder. “Who else, besides Alarik?”

“My mother.”

The thought of her gave me a stomachache. On the one hand, I was angry because the mountain of lies seemed to have grown bigger and bigger just before we had been torn apart, and yet I missed her terribly.

All you miss is the stable life you had before. A false harmony that you clung to because you never wanted to deal with that feeling of knowing deep down in your gut. That unbearable tightness in your chest. That unpleasant presence spreading through your mind... Because you were able to successfully repress it. Until now.

This town reminds you of loss. Of something that an ungraspable part of you is so afraid of that you desperately try to lock it away.

Overwhelmed and with goosebumps prickling my neck, I swallowed the thought.

“Especially her,” I continued hastily. “But also, the other Quatura. The mayor, Vivienna's mother... Alice knew them all.”

I remembered the day I had entered the ballroom.

“And on the evening of the winter ball, when I wore Alice's dress, they gave themselves away with the looks they gave me. Every single one of them.”

The mere memory of Alarik's gaze sent a tingle down my spine.

It must have been the dress…

Emely said nothing. She seemed lost in thought, which I could understand. I had racked my brains over it for nights on end.

“Julian's dad knew her too,” I added, and Emely looked up. Not surprised, more as if something was burning on her tongue.