Page 131

“Why...”

Quentin cut me off.

“You ask too many questions.” His expression was back to the same grim one he liked to give me. “For now, just process what I’ve told you today.”

He continued packing his things, leaving me standing there for two minutes, thinking about Umbra, wondering whether I should make a list of questions and work through them one by one, or whether I should argue with him about my rights in this collaboration.

What if I figured out how the dark practices worked on my own? What if I stole one of his books without him noticing and taught myself the alphabet?

I grabbed my backpack, because a glance at my watch told me that dinner in Moenia would soon be served. Amara didn't like it when someone was missing because she believed that eating together was an important tradition for family cohesion.

If only she knew how broken this family already was. But she didn't want to see it, closed her eyes to the truth, didn't even talk about her own dead sister.

I turned to leave.

“Julie.”

It was the way he said my name. He didn't shout it, he didn't curse it, it wasn't demanding. No, it was like the day I had accidentally scattered his papers on the floor of the seminar room.

I turned around and saw Quentin with my coat in his hand.

“Your coat...”

I stared at the gray fabric, disappointed that this piece of cloth was the reason he said my name that way.

“My coat...” I repeated his words and walked toward him to take the coat from him, feeling like the biggest idiot.

I pulled on the coat, but he wouldn’t let go of it.

Overwhelmed, I looked up, straight into his peridot-green eyes, and wondered how anyone could have such bright, warm eyes... and why he was clinging to my coat as if he would lose something if he let go.

Finding it difficult to interpret his gaze and the twitch of his lips, I waited for an explanation as the tingling in my stomach continued to grow.

“Bring a notebook next time,” he finally murmured. “I’ll answer all your questions.”

Never before in my life had anyone confused me as much as this man. And never before had I wanted to explore someone as deeply as him.

He surprised me. Every single time. He pushed me away, yet at the same time drew me in like a damn magnet, and I wondered if we would collide when he learned the truth. Whether he would feel the same way I did or whether he would hate me for all eternity.

He let go of my coat and turned away, leaving me standing there again.

This time, I didn't hesitate for long and left the lab immediately.

By now, my heart had completely thawed. And, barely, I managed to hold back my tears. Until I arrived at my car in the parking lot.

On the way through downtown, I was a tearful wreck, and my steering wheel froze bit by bit.

That was what this man did to me. He turned me into a walking mess.

Chapter 18

Julie

Hysteresis

Angus McRae

The two Custodes – officially trained guard Quatura of the element Air, wearing their traditional grey one-shoulder capes – who had escorted me to the eighth basement level of Moenia turned away from me and left in unison the small study temple, which was bathed in the dim light of gently flickering candles.