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Hurt flickered in his eyes. “The bargain has absolutely nothing to do with you. It was merely the best way to ensure the Lords had no control over my decision and a good way to get what I needed.”

“And what is it you need?”

A flicker of a smile ghosted his lips. “Clever, but I’m on to you. What I asked for has no bearing on what we’re doing now. It’s a means to an end.”

“I don’t understand why you had to ask Cernunnos. You’re intelligent, handsome, rich, and capable. What could you possibly need from a god?”

Soren batted his eyes at me. “You have a crush on me?”

I scoffed. “I prefer my men a little less self-absorbed. And don’t think I don’t realize you’re avoiding giving me an answer.”

“Again, what I asked for has nothing to do with you or what we’re doing now. And I had to ask for specialized help because what I want can’t be solved by someone at my power level.”

“You could just tell me, you know. I wouldn’t judge you.”

Soren’s smile took on a sad edge. “You’d try to stop me.”

What in the world could he possibly have asked for? “Should you be stopped?”

“The ask affects no one else but me.”

“I doubt that. You have no idea how one tiny action can send out waves of consequences for everyone for years to come.”

Soren’s brow furrowed. “How so?”

I pulled my knees up to my chest. “I died the day Evie and the others came to rescue me.”

Soren sucked in a shocked breath.

“All I could think about was making my mother pay for what she’d done to me. I thought if she could feel even a tenth of the pain I had, maybe she would understand why I’d fought her for so long. I went after her, wounded, near death, and completely unprepared, so it was no surprise she was able to take me out as easily as she did.”

Soren was barely breathing, his eyes wide as he listened.

“She disemboweled me. Cernunnos found me and carried me out of the room, my innards spilling out everywhere.” My voice cracked. “Everyone I loved saw me like that, broken and destroyed in his arms. Dead.

“I’d caused the people I love endless pain because I was selfish and hot-headed. Evie would have never gotten over my death. So no, Soren, I don’t think you fully understand how something you choose for only yourself can affect others for years to come. If you’re doing something just for yourself, it can’t be something as small as money or finding someone to love or any of a million small requests you could fill with a little more effort on your part.”

I reached over and touched his knee. “What could possibly be so important, so difficult, you can’t fix it yourself instead of tangling yourself into a bargain with the gods?”

Soren’s expression turned thoughtful. “If we make it out of here alive, perhaps I’ll tell you.”

I held my hand out. “Shake on it.”

Soren’s lips twitched. He took my hand in his own, dwarfing my fingers, and shook.

Someone opened the front door and stepped outside.

Soren and I ducked low into the brush. We both had incredible eyesight, but the weather was still a little drizzly and the day was overcast.

Even so, the person standing on the porch was my mother.

To my everlasting joy, she looked like shit.

Her black hair was streaked with gray, and she moved like she had been injured. She held her hand up to her stomach, the fingers twisted and gnarled.

Was that what I’d done to her or had the injury come from someone else? The lack of use in her hands would prevent her from throwing some of her worst spells at me, but she’d proven adept at other magic.

“Are the wards still up?” Soren whispered.