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One month later…

It had been a month since Amelie had returned to the nunnery to gather her thoughts. At first, being back in the comfortable confines of the convent had been blissful. No longer did she have to be scared of being in a crowd, or having attention forced upon her. The Sisters were welcoming and eager to hear about her experiences, as well as preparing a humble dinner to celebrate her birthday. It was far from the feast that had been presented to her at the castle, and there was nothing as delicious as plum sauce. However, it was relaxing and Amelie enjoyed it a great deal. There was no pressure on her to speak at all, because many of the women in the nunnery were inclined to timidity, and the days passed as gently as a sauntering stream.

She returned to her duties almost immediately, finding great solace in tending to the plants and tidying the nunnery. The tasks she performed were not grand gestures like the things that Pascal had done, but they did make a difference to those in the nunnery, and she was happy to help maintain the rigorous standards of the place. It was as Sister Cora said, whenever people came to the nunnery they were looking for order amid the chaos of their lives. What kind of impression would it have given them if they saw the nunnery in disarray? So Amelie did her part, still trying to think about her future and how she was going to fully indulge her curiosity about love and romance.

At night she would feel a flare of heat as she thought about Evan. Despite seeing him in that passionate argument with the maid, she had not yet been able to wrest him from her mind. She supposed that until she met another man with whom she was going to fall in love, Evan would be the focus of her fantasies as he was the only person she had experienced the thrill of attraction with. Amelie would think about that moment by the pond where they had first kissed, and how she had opened herself up to him, welcoming this glimpse of a passionate side to her. It always left her reeling and breathless, and the more she thought about it, the more she regretted that Evan had turned out to be exactly as Bridget had warned.

Finding a perfect man for her was going to be difficult. Although she did not like to agree with Fleur on the matter, Amelie did have a particular set of desires when it came to a man. She wanted someone who was going to be gentle and patient with her, yet also someone who was going to take the lead in passion and whisk her away to a blissful paradise. They were going to have to innately know how far they could push her limits, for she wasn’t sure of anything.

In fact, the longer she spent in the nunnery, the more she believed she had been deluding herself. Many days went by and the only people she saw were other women. This place wasn’t like the keep, where there were dozens of men and even visitors from other clans coming and going. The chances of her finding the man of her dreams were slim, so perhaps it was best to not even think about it. Moreover, she had nurtured a quiet hope that Evan would keep to his word and visit the nunnery. He had seemed earnest in his intention, and yet as the days drifted by there was still no sight of him. Perhaps he had been wounded by her refusal to say farewell to him, but she did not think he was a man easily swayed from what he wanted. It was disappointing to know that his promise had been a hollow one, and her worst fears had been confirmed.

So Amelie seemed torn between wanting a better, more adventurous life for herself, and remaining shackled to the nunnery. She felt comfortable here and wished to hold onto this feeling, yet could she grow the way she wanted to in this place? It troubled her mind, and as the month passed these worries began to show to others.

It was Sister Cora who approached her. The wise mentor had always been there for Amelie. Now well and truly recovered from her illness, Sister Cora was her usual vigorous self. She rose earlier than all the other women in the nunnery and retired later as well. Amelie had no idea where she got the energy from. When questioned, Sister Cora smiled and replied that it was from God, of course.

Amelie was in the kitchen, washing up after dinner, when Sister Cora came towards her.

“Would ye care tae walk with me?” she said. Amelie knew, as all the other women did, that when Sister Cora asked a question like this it was never usually optional. Another nun came into the kitchen to take over for Amelie, who dried her hands on a cloth and then fell into step with Sister Cora. They walked through the cloisters as the moonlight poured through the slitted windows. Thick trees like silent guardians standing watch over the convent stood outside. The brooding stone walls were ancient and imbued with history. Amelie often wondered if there had been any other woman like her, who suffered as she did. There was Saint Lucy, whom Sister Cora had taught her about. She was a woman who had taken a vow of silence as a display of faith in the Lord. It wasn’t exactly a similar situation as she had chosen to be mute whereas Amelie had it forced upon her, but it was still nice to know that there were people out there who had managed to live full lives without being able to speak. However, from what Sister Cora had told Amelie of Saint Lucy, it seemed clear that Saint Lucy was a commanding presence who suffered no fools, and Amelie just did not have that kind of strength within her.

“It appears tae me that something hae been troubling ye, Amelie. Ye hae nae been the same since ye returned from the birthday feast. Are ye missing yer family?”

Amelie nodded and then sighed. Now that she was back in the nunnery she felt more comfortable, and with Sister Cora, she was able to summon a few words. However, when it came to complicated matters, Amelie still preferred to use the slate.

It’s not them, she wrote. Sister Cora peered towards the slate. There were torches standing at regular intervals along the dark corridor, offering them light.

“Then what is it?” Sister Cora asked.

A man.

Sister Cora chuckled, and Amelie scowled.

“Oh, forgive me, Amelie. I dinnae mean tae make light of yer situation, but I am pleased that ye are dealing with a problem that most young women deal with. It shows that ye are nae sae different from them after all,” she placed a hand on Amelie’s shoulder and squeezed it tightly.

“Sae who is this man? Did he feel the same way about ye?” Sister Cora asked.

Yes and no. He felt the same way about others.

“Ah, I see. One of those men. They are all tae common, I’m afraid,” Sister Cora tilted her head forward. She had been married once, a long time ago, before she had devoted her life to God.

I liked the feeling. I want it to happen again. But I also don’t want to leave this place.

Sister Cora nodded with understanding. She always had a way of comprehending everything that Amelie was trying to say. “I see, ye want something that ye dinnae think ye will find here. Well, I know it is nae easy, but I think that when things are right God places them in our path, and all we hae tae dae is recognize the opportunity and take it. Whoever this lad was, he clearly means a lot tae ye, but perhaps he was nae right for ye tae love. If there is someone out there, then he will find his way tae ye. Ye hae seen many examples of God’s grace, nae least in ye brother and his wife. What were the chances of them being here at the same time? If they hae nae encountered each other, many things would hae been different. If ye are ready for this then God will recognize it, and he will ensure that ye get everything ye deserve.”

Amelie nodded and swallowed a lump of nerves that swelled in her throat.

What if I fall in love and he wants me to leave?

Sister Cora chuckled again. Her hand moved around to Amelie’s back. “Oh, Amelie, ye dinnae need tae worry about that. I dae care about ye a great deal, almost like ye are my own daughter, but I would nae expect ye tae stay here for yer whole life. The world is filled with possibilities and experiences that ye should nae be denied. Here is where ye can bask in God’s grace, but God is out there in the world as well. He made this all sae that we could find ourselves in it, and people like ye were nae meant tae settle here forever. Ye are a kind soul, Amelie, and one day ye will make a good man very happy. All ye need is tae find such a man. In fact, there is someone who may just be what ye hae been waiting for.”

Amelie turned towards her and cocked an eyebrow, intrigued.

“He calls himself Ro, Ro Gusman. He first arrived when ye were visiting yer family. He is a new merchant who wants tae donate goods as apparently, we did his Ma a good turn. It’s always nice when people wish tae repay our kindness. Sadly, his Ma is nae still alive, but he said that thanks tae us she managed tae see more sunsets than she would hae otherwise. He is a pleasant man, and if I were a younger woman I might consider him handsome,” there was a twinkle in her eye as she said this. “It might dae ye some good tae make his acquaintance. He seemed tae hae a good trade, and he certainly hae a kind manner about him. He should be arriving within a few days. I will arrange for ye tae meet him in the gardens, and then ye can see what happens from there. Of course, there is nae pressure. If ye just want tae stay here then ye can stay here for as long as ye like,” Sister Cora patted Amelie on the head, and what she said made a lot of sense. God’s wisdom was infinite, and she should trust in Him to deliver her the right man. If Evan was not going to come and see her then clearly he was not the right person for her, but perhaps this Ro was.

Amelie hugged Sister Cora tightly, before she went to perform her nightly prayers and then retired to bed. Her mind was filled with possibilities. She thought that a merchant might make a wonderful husband for her. He would have plenty of stories to tell from traveling along the Highlands, and people always wanted to buy things. They would never run out of money. They could find a nice home somewhere tucked away in the forest where she could still be away from people, but if they ever wanted to travel to see her family then they had a readymade wagon and horses. Sister Cora’s approval carried great weight with Amelie as well, and so she prayed that God would bring the right man to her path, and also grant her the wisdom to recognize him, and the courage to be able to surrender her heart.

It also gave her no small thrill to imagine the look on Fleur’s face if she suddenly appeared with a husband by her side. Perhaps then Fleur would understand that she was no longer a child, and would finally start treating Amelie like the woman she had become.