Page 11

9

Evan led them out of the castle. They circled the perimeter, watching the bustling clan go about their business. It was late in the afternoon, getting close to evening now. Some people had already left, while others were in the process of leaving. All the guests had roused themselves, however, and so the grounds were looking sparser than before. However, there were still plenty of people around. Many of them wanted a meal before they left, or to slake their thirst before they went along the journey. It was still noisier than the convent, and as they walked towards the main grounds of the keep, Amelie became tense.

“Ye know, I hae better walk around the perimeter of the grounds, just tae make sure that everything is as it should be,” Evan said, veering away. Amelie breathed a sigh of relief as they turned away from the busy lands. They walked away to a field filled with long grass. It looked as though it was waving to them. Horses and sheep grazed in the field, bowing their heads and then munching on grass. It was a serene sight, and as the pale light fell upon the animals, Amelie was filled with a sense of awe and grandeur. She and Evan walked slowly, and he did not make any attempt to converse with her for a while. She was content in the silence and enjoyed the fact that there was no pressure to fill the void with noise. It was pleasant enough to enjoy his company, his presence, and the fact that he made no demands upon her was touching.

They walked behind the stables and they both grimaced at the scent of horses.

“Beautiful creatures, but they need tae dae something about their smell,” Evan joked as he waved his hand in front of his face. They moved on quickly, walking up a gentle slope and through some trees, before descending to the other side of the slope. This helped hide them from the clan, removing the rest of the world from their view. The air was sweet. Birds chirped as they hopped from branch to branch. Amelie also spied a squirrel that was scurrying away, clutching an acorn. She only glimpsed it though, because it disappeared in an instant.

“It’s lovely out here,” Evan sighed.

Amelie swung her slate from over her shoulder and began writing. The pain in her finger had ebbed away by now, so she did not have any trouble holding the slate.

This is what the nunnery is like, she wrote, answering one of the questions he had asked her at breakfast. She nudged him so that he would take notice of the slate. He glanced down and nodded, wearing an appreciative smile.

“If that’s the case then I will definitely hae tae come by and spend some time there. I dae like that there is always something gaeing on in the clan, but it can be exhausting. If there’s a place where I can rest fully for a while then I should make use of it. I hae always liked being around nature, especially when Angus was in control. It was the only way tae avoid him and his brutish son, Munro. Out here I could pretend that naething was wrong. Sometimes I even used to wish that when I would return the clan would hae changed completely and everything was as it should be.”

I used to do the same thing, she wrote, touched that he was showing a vulnerable side. He tilted his head.

“When?” he asked.

She shrugged. All the time. France and here.

Evan nodded. “Pascal told me some of what ye went through. Ye hae nae hae easy lives. Ye hae been through more than anyone should hae.”

We all have. Hard for you, too. Evan pressed his lips together and nodded, clearly wishing that he had better childhood experiences to draw upon. Amelie thought of something else she wanted to say, so rubbed the chalk away and wrote something new. Did you want to fight against Angus?

“I did, but Uncle Logan told me nae tae. He hae a plan, and wanted us tae be patient. He kept telling us that at some point the right time would come and we would be able tae get rid of him. It was nae easy tae wait, though. Uncle taught me how tae fight when I was very young, and all I wanted tae dae was take the fight tae Angus and Munro. I hae tae watch them rule this clan with fear, and I hated tae see the people suffer. But if I hae fought against them I would likely hae died. Perhaps it’s best that I followed my Uncle’s orders, although I still regret that plenty of people hae tae suffer in the meantime.”

I’m glad you didn’t die.

“Me tae,” Evan chuckled.

And now you are Captain of the Guard.

“Aye,” he said, although he took a heavy breath. Amelie wondered if something was wrong. She waited patiently for him to continue speaking. She had found that people were often inclined to share things with her because they sought to fill the silence. “Although I dinnae think I’m ready for it. I’m grateful tae ye brother for haeing faith in me, of course, but I know I am the youngest captain in history and, well, that’s a lot of pressure tae live up tae, especially when I’m following my Uncle. The man who helped lead the rebellion against the tyrant and restored the rightful heir tae the throne. I know I am never gaeing tae be able tae achieve anything like that, sae in some ways I feel as though I am doomed tae fail. It’s nae as if I could hae refused though. I could nae let my uncle down like that, especially after all the trust he put in me. I dinnae think I was the natural choice for this position.”

Why not?

“I told ye that I hae gotten intae trouble. I used tae be angry at the world, and angry at myself I suppose. The only way I could cope with the frustration was by drinking. I spent far tae many nights in taverns, drifting through life. I thought it was never gaeing tae end. Then Pascal came along, I was told that the rebellion was taking place, and suddenly this place transformed. I suppose I hae tae transform with it. When Logan came tae me tae tell me that he was recommending me tae take over from him I dinnae know what tae say. I was nae sure I could cope with the responsibility. I suppose I am still nae sure.”

Pascal trusts you.

“That’s good tae know. I hope I can keep earning his trust. For a long time, I think people saw me as a failure. I just want tae prove tae people that I can dae something worthwhile with my life. I want tae prove it tae myself as well. But I still feel as though I’m learning on the job. When I used tae look at my uncle he was always sae sure of himself. He always knew what tae dae next. I feel as though I am guessing half the time. I’m only pretending tae know what I’m daeing. I feel like eventually, someone is gaeing tae find me out, or I’m worried that if we hae tae deal with a real threat then I’m nae gaeing tae be able tae defend the clan.”

Amelie was struck by how honest he was being with her. The tone of his voice was raw and quiet, and she got the impression that he did not share these things with anyone lightly. They were far from the clan and so nobody was going to overhear them, but the fact that he would trust her with this made her feel special.

I’m sure you will be fine, she wrote, although she wished she could say more. She wished she could have told him that he was one of the strongest men she had ever met and that he clearly took his duty seriously. She knew that Pascal would not have appointed him to this position unless he had the utmost trust in him. She just couldn’t write it down quickly enough, and then the conversation moved on to another topic. They passed underneath a tree with drooping branches. Evan reached up and picked off a leaf, tearing it in his fingers before scattering it to the ground.

“I’m sure I will. I suppose it’s good that I should hae something tae focus on. Better than drinking every night, that’s for certain. Sae is there anything ye can tell me about Pascal that he would nae tell me himself? I’m sure as his sister ye must know some stories. I hae only known him as Laird after all.”

He was clearly fishing for an amusing story, but Amelie did not want to say anything about Pascal that would undermine his authority, so anything embarrassing was out of the question. She thought about it for some time, and then believed she had the perfect story.

When Bridget first met Pascal she thought he was stealing from the nuns.

Evan read this and then laughed, holding his side. “She thought he was a thief?”

Amelie nodded. I had to tell her that he was my brother.