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He settled into bed and took another long gulp of wine as he closed his eyes, settling into sweet sleep with great anticipation for the following day. Hope danced in his mind, and he couldn’t wait for the excitement that was to come.

16

The night descended on the keep. The candle by Maeve’s bed had long died out, the wax melting into an amorphous blob, and the wick nothing more than a stub of ash. The shadows lengthened over her and created a shroud around the room, one that enveloped her in her gloom. Every breath was heaving. She couldn’t remember when she had eaten last, but that didn’t seem to matter. There was nothing but sorrow within her body. She was a hollowed-out shell. What was the use of there being anything else?

For a brief moment, there had been shards of hope within her heart, a respite from the grief that had plagued her life. She had always been dutiful, devout, and devoted. She had done everything that she was supposed to have done, but what use was it when everything she ever tried ended in utter misery? She had been cursed from the day she was born. She had no idea why or who had cursed her, but there was no escaping the fact it had happened. It was an inescapable conclusion after what had happened.

To see Gowan standing there, to have held him so close and been fooled into thinking that he loved her, that he cherished her, all while he was plotting dark deeds within his mind.

It didn’t seem right. Even though they had only known each other a short time, it felt as though they had been through so much together. The love they shared was so real she could almost touch it, so how could he have done this? And yet she knew she was not the best judge of intentions. She was young and naïve, and after experiencing so much grief, she was searching for something to cling to, for someone who could make her feel that life was worth living.

Perhaps Gowan hadn’t been this man at all but had only been a man, a man on whom she had projected all of these qualities and forged him into this perfect husband. Was it possible that it had been a trick of her mind?

It was so difficult to know, especially because she was alone. The only family she had left was Harrison, and she could hardly go to him with this because he would see her as a weak and foolish girl.

What she needed most was a friend, but they were scant too.

There was a soft knock at the door. A shaft of light poured in through the crack.

“My lady, are ye awake?” It was the soft voice of Nella, a young maid. She was a timid thing, often reminding Maeve of a mouse. “What are ye daeing sitting in the darkness?” she asked as she moved into the room after Maeve groaned. She pulled out a match and lit a candle. Suddenly the amber glow of a flame illuminated the room. Maeve shielded her eyes, but Nella saw the grim sorrow upon her face.

“Oh, my lady, ye cannae be like this. I know it is difficult, but ye are the Laird! Ye are stronger than any man,” Nella said.

Maeve let out a dry laugh. “I dinnae feel that way. I dinnae feel strong at all. It feels as though my heart haes been ripped out,” she said, swinging her legs into a sitting position as she perched on the bed. Her locks of hair fell forward, framing her face like a veil.

“I thought I would come check on ye tae see if ye were hungry,” Nella asked.

“That is kind of ye, but I’m nae hungry. I’m nae anything except…except numb. I dinnae know if I’m gaeing tae feel anything again,” Maeve said. It seemed a little strange to be telling all this to a simple maid, but Maeve was desperate to speak about the feelings within her heart. The only other person she would have told was Gowan, but that avenue had been closed to her. She sighed heavily.

“I feel like a fool, Nella,” Maeve said. Nella stood there rigidly, a little surprised that Maeve, in fact, knew her name. “Sit down, girl,” Maeve said, gesturing to the chair. Nella sat down, although she did not look comfortable at all. She had her hands in her lap and was poised forward, almost as though she was ready to leap up at any moment.

“Hae ye ever been in love, Nella?” Maeve asked. The maid shook her head. Maeve wore a sardonic smile. “I thought I was, but now I’m nae sure. Hae I just been deluding myself, or was there really something there? When I think about Gowan, I cannae believe that he would dae this tae me, but then I wonder if I’m truly the best judge of his character. After all, I barely know the man, and he wouldnae be the first one tae be interested in power.”

“I dinnae think that’s all he was interested in,” Nella said, almost without thinking. She looked shocked at herself as Maeve asked what she meant by that remark. It took a bit of coaxing, but eventually, Nella elaborated on her point. “Well, my lady, it’s just that we hae seen ye and Gowan—the servants, I mean—and it’s been clear tae us that there is something between the two of ye, something that cannae be feigned. I dinnae know if ye hae seen the way he looks at ye, especially the way he looks at ye when ye are turned away… Well, a few of us hae said that we would adore a man tae look at us the way Gowan looks at ye,” she said, her words stammering and trembling.

“Ye hae?” Maeve asked, tilting her head up and looking directly at the maid. Nella nodded. Maeve rose from the edge of the bed and paced around, wringing her hands together.

“I hae jumped tae thinking the worst, but what if I’m nae giving him enough credit?” She turned to Nella suddenly. “Ye must nae share anything that we speak about in this room,” Maeve said, and walked to the door, closing it and shutting out the beam of light that crept in. She turned again to pace while Nella remained in the chair. The poor girl must have wondered what she had walked into. “I need tae speak about this with someone, Nella, and it seems as though fate haes chosen ye.”

“Aye, my lady,” Nella said dutifully.

Maeve worked through her thoughts. “When Gowan and I met, I thought he was a brash man, uncouth and rough, but in our time taegether, he haes proven himself tae be as sweet as cherries. Oh, I hae never been as happy as I am with him. Can this truly be a lie? Perhaps it’s just that I dinnae want tae believe it, and yet if what ye say is true, then it may be that it is true. There is always a sense of doubt when something seems tae good tae believe. But it would be an even greater sin if I let my fear ruin it all. There is something else, Nella… Gowan tried tae warn me that someone haed tried tae poison me. I was nae ready tae listen at first. I thought he was being overly cautious, but now I wonder…” she said, and in her mind, she thought about the warning Gowan had given her about her uncle.

Could it be true?

“Nella, what dae ye know of a wee lass, a maid? She’s about yer height,” Maeve said, and proceeded to give a more thorough description of her.

“Oh, ye mean Cathy,” Nella said.

“Aye, Cathy. Where is she now? I would like tae speak with her,” Maeve said. It would be useful to have some time alone with this girl so she could hear exactly what she had overheard and when. She realized that she had been so shocked into action she had not given the matter as thorough an examination as it might have deserved.

“I’m afraid I dinnae know. She said she was leaving, that she haes found employment elsewhere.”

“Where?” Maeve asked.

Nella shrugged. “Sorry, my lady, but we dinnae ask these things. People come and gae from the kitchens sometimes. Why, it’s only recently that Millie disappeared, and I thought she would be here for life!”

Maeve nodded, but something seemed to be wrong here. There was some truth beyond what she already knew, she could sense it, and she wasn’t ready to give up on the matter. It was so difficult to ignore the pull on her heart. There was one man she needed to speak to more than anything. She wrapped a shawl around her to protect her from the night chill and thanked Nella for being so helpful before leaving the room. Nella smiled, unsure how she had been so helpful.