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As she spoke her vows, she searched Gowan’s eyes to see if he truly wanted this or if he was going to regret the matter. When they kissed again, she hoped that she would do better on this occasion. If Gowan didn’t enjoy the kiss, then he didn’t say it, but of course, he was unlikely to say anything in front of everyone. It would hardly be wise to insult his wife on the day of the wedding. The only problem was that as each moment passed, it brought her closer to the night of the wedding, the night when forbidden and unknown things happened. She had heard whispers of such things, of inappropriate touching, but she did not know the particulars, and this uncertainty marred her happy mood. She kept trying to push away these thoughts and focus on enjoying the warm toasts that were being spoken and the happy mood shared by everyone else, but they continually gnawed at the back of her mind.

Gowan would expect certain things of her, things she was not sure she would be able to deliver. She wore a smile, but behind her eyes, nerves danced wildly.

Maeve didn’t get the chance to meet Gowan’s father and brother. They seemed nice, and she imagined that she would have quite a lot in common with Ewan if they sat down and spoke for a while. They had both had great expectations placed upon their shoulders from their births, groomed for a certain role in life. Gowan had hinted at it during their time together, and Maeve hoped that over the course of the years, she would be able to form a friendship with her brother-in-law.

“I am sorry tae hear that yer wife couldnae make it,” Maeve said.

Ewan rolled his eyes a little. “Aye, she doesnae fare well away from the castle, unfortunately,” he said, and narrowed his eyes at his father, although if Declan noticed, then it didn’t bother him at all. Declan spoke about a grand partnership and that he was happy to play a role in helping the Wallace clan. He patted Gowan on the shoulder and said that he was certain his son would be able to give Maeve many happy and healthy children. Maeve nodded and thanked him at this, although once again, it caused nerves to swell in her heart, for there was only one way to produce children.

Along with the feasting, there was much dancing. Maeve’s feet were aching by the end of it and sweat prickled on her brow. She was breathless as she spun around, and the world became a blur, but it was freeing as well. She dearly wished that her entire life could be imbued with this feeling of freedom and joy. She clung to Gowan’s strong body as they danced around the room. He moved with agility and grace, just as he had done during their sword fight. But even so, her nerves swam in the pit of her stomach, making her feel quite uncomfortable. Her head was buzzing as well, and while she tried to drown it out with laughter, she wasn’t quite successful.

* * *

It eventually became time for Maeve and Gowan to leave the party and ascend the stairs to their chamber, where the most important part of the marriage would take place. There were more toasts and cheers as Gowan and Maeve bid their farewell for the night. It was an open secret about what was going to happen, and Maeve hated that something so intimate was so widely known.

The moment they staggered out of the hall, the quiet hit them. The air in the hall had become stuffy and hot due to the number of people inside, so now that they were out, the air was cool, even though they were still standing in a hallway.

Maeve took a moment to compose herself and wipe the sweat from her brow.

“Are ye well?” Gowan asked.

Maeve nodded. “Just a wee bit overwhelmed.”

“It haes been a long day, and I cannae ever remember being in a place with that many people that was nae a battle.”

“In a way, I feel it was a battle,” she said, offering him a wan smile.

Gowan laughed. “Well, it’s over now. Now that we’re alone, I wanted tae tell ye something,” he said as they moved away, walking slowly because Maeve’s dress was heavy, and her feet throbbed with pain after dancing so enthusiastically. There was a churning in her stomach that she just couldn’t seem to be rid of either, although she hoped that it would diminish given that she was now alone with Gowan again. “I just want tae say that ye are the loveliest lass I hae ever seen. I know we didnae get tae choose each other, but I cannae think of a better choice I could make for myself. I hae been lucky tae find ye, lass. Ye are beautiful and spirited, and ye dance like no other. I’m glad that ye are my wife, and I know that it may take ye a wee while tae get used tae me being yer husband, but I hope in time ye will see that I can make ye happy.”

Gowan spoke with reticence and an apologetic tone, almost as though he was worried about being good enough for her. It struck her that they may have been worried about the same things. What a silly thing!

“I’m sure ye will, Gowan. And I hope that, above all else, we can be honest with each other. Since my parents hae died, I hae been lacking someone tae confide in. It is all well and good being the Lady and haeing a husband, but I would like a friend as well.”

“I’m sure I can fill that role tae,” Gowan said. “Is there anything that ye wish tae confide in me now?”

Maeve exhaled deeply. A part of her was embarrassed to speak about such matters with him, but she supposed there was no sense in hoping for a thing and then not making use of it. He took her hand as they reached the stairwell. She hitched her dress up with every step.

“In truth, I am nervous about what’s gaeing tae happen when we ascend these stairs and reach our chamber,” she confessed.

Gowan nodded and looked solemn. “It is only right that ye should be nervous. But I will take care of ye. Nothing bad is gaeing tae happen. This is the kind of thing that we were born tae dae. All ye need is tae follow yer instincts, and everything will be alright. Ye hae already proven yer talents in every area, sae I’m sure ye hae nothing tae worry about,” Gowan said.

“Even in kissing?” she asked tentatively, the words almost catching in her throat.

“Aye,” Gowan replied with a wide smile. “Especially kissing.”

This praise and his kind words reassured her. She breathed a little easier, although there was still a gnawing sensation in the pit of her stomach. She tried to will it away, and when that failed, she assumed that she would simply have to wait for it to leave once the deed had been done.

They ascended the final step and walked toward the door. Gowan held the door open for her, and she walked through it. She stood in the middle of the room while he lit some candles. An amber glow filled the room, and the shadows danced across the walls and ceilings, almost as though spirit folk joined them. Gowan offered her some water from a jug that had been left in the room, but she declined. He returned to her. The door had been closed. They were alone again, truly alone with nothing that was going to interrupt them. Maeve’s heart caught in her throat as he took her hand and kissed her softly on the cheek. His breath was warm, and she tried to remember the way she had felt when he had wrestled her to the ground and pinned her. That had been a moment of spontaneity, though, whereas this was planned and necessary and a part of the marriage routine.

He stepped behind her and started to pull away the lace that held her dress together. With every knot that was untied, she let out a sharp gasp. One by one, they were loosened, her body freed, the trappings of this dress taken away from her. She breathed a little easier because the dress had been incredibly tight, but instead of the tightness being around her waist, it was now in her chest. His hands were deft. They moved to her shoulders, pushing away the straps of the dress. He leaned down to kiss the nape of her neck. His lips were soft, and the heat of his breath made her tingle. Goosebumps appeared on her arms, and her chest heaved. She could feel the arousal of his giant body pressing against her, and she kept telling herself that all she needed to do was listen to the sensations that careened around her body. This was all natural. This was all safe. She was with her husband. It was a sacred thing to share her body in this way, to surrender her innocence to this man, this man she had promised her life and her heart to.

She turned and draped her arms around his neck, looking up at him as she tilted her neck back. Yes, this was the man who was going to be hers, who was going to stand by her no matter what until death claimed them. He was her rock now. He was the man in whom she could place her trust.

As these thoughts and more rolled through her mind, she found herself relaxing into the intimacy of the moment. There was nothing to fear from him, she told herself, because he was the one she could trust above everyone else. She closed her eyes and leaned forward. His hands slipped around the small of her back, and they kissed again. This time it was a proper kiss, warm and sweet and long. Their lips pressed against each other, and a soft moan escaped on her breath. Tingles spread through her body as her mind grew hazy. She began to lose herself in the heat of him. His hands held her tightly, and they continued to push her dress away, stripping her of the trappings of her youth, helping her to blossom into this woman and this wife.

It fell in a puddle around her feet. She pressed her hands against his chest, feeling the mighty drumbeat of his heart. The hammering in her mind still wasn’t going away, but she was determined to fight against the nerves. She had hoped they would have diminished entirely by now, but it seemed as though she was going to have to go to war with her own body. At least Gowan’s hands were comforting.

They kissed again, and she began to lose herself in him, allowing the natural desire to swim throughout her body. The air crackled and simmered with heat. Gowan still had his hands around her waist, and now he stepped toward the bed, taking her with him. She started to feel as though she was floating, but then another wave of nausea shot through her, and she simply could not ignore it. She broke away from the kiss as she felt bile rise in her throat. She tried to swallow it away, tried to keep it all inside, but it felt as though there was something else inside her, something insidious and sinister.