A Journey Back to the Highlands
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Ruairi had endured a restless night of sleep. He stared at the ceiling, wondering why his life had to be this way. It would have been far easier if he had never encountered Kenna Baird, or subsequently fallen in love with her. It did not bode well for the rest of his life. He would always be tormented by that one night where they shared a bed, where he had spilled his pleasure over her and felt the tremors of her delight. It was so easy to lose himself in the softness of her, and so hard to tear himself away. But it was required of him. He was many things, but he was not a rogue or a scoundrel. He knew well how important a woman’s virtue was, and he was not about to send Kenna home with any doubt that she had been tainted. She deserved a good marriage to a good man who could give her everything that she wanted, and more.
For the first time, Ruairi found himself wishing that he could be that man, but he was destined to walk a lonely path. He had revealed his deepest secret to her, and she had not turned away. Perhaps in time, he would find someone else—a Spanish senorita, possibly—for he was beginning to see that he had something to offer the world. And yet, none could compare to Kenna. She was the brightest star in the sky, the most shimmering sea. She was the treasure against which all others paled. And for a moment, he had glimpsed what it was like to be deemed worthy of her.
They thanked Laird McAteer and were soon on their way, eager to make up for the time they had lost since reaching the Highlands. The horses Laird McAteer supplied them with were swift, and the world blurred around them. They exchanged few words. There was nothing more for them to say. Soon enough, she would be at home, and he would be moving on to visit his family before departing the Highlands again. Their paths had crossed for a short time, but now they were splitting away and they would just be memories for each other.
Kenna exclaimed with delight when she saw familiar territory. She pointed to the rising plumes of smoke that rose from her estate. They were greeted with familiar sounds of wagons trundling along paths, and people going about their business. They marveled at the sight of Kenna, pointing at her as though her appearance was a miracle. Kenna smiled and laughed gaily, taking great delight in being back at home. She had insisted that he come inside and speak with her father, as she assumed that Laird Baird would be grateful for all Ruairi had done for her. They walked into the estate, and Kenna’s mother came rushing out. She was dressed in black, and her eyes were red and raw from tears. She shrieked as she flung her arms around her daughter.
“Oh, Kenna, my darling. It’s sae good tae see ye again. We thought ye haed been killed, lost at sea! Oh, we haed mourned and mourned. Yer return is a miracle,” she said.
Kenna smiled. “It’s truly me, Ma. I’m safe and sound, thanks tae Ruairi.”
Her gaze traveled to Ruairi. He bowed, as was the custom, and tried to hide his awkwardness. But Kenna’s mother didn’t have a chance to say anything to him as they were interrupted by Laird Baird. He stood in the doorway, a pale, thin man with a stern expression on his face.
“Kenna!” he barked. His voice was strangely high-pitched, and Ruairi didn’t like the way Laird Baird was looking at him.
“Da,” Kenna said, smiling, rushing up to him. Laird Baird did not share the same enthusiasm as her mother had, though, and Ruairi was beginning to see why Kenna had had so few good things to say about him. They followed him into his office and were surprised to see a familiar face.
“Cal!” Kenna exclaimed when she saw her guardian standing in the corner of the room. He looked as resolute and stoic as always, barely breaking a smile. There was an ugly wound on his head where he had been injured, but it was like seeing a ghost. “Ye survived!” Kenna said, rushing up and hugging him.
“Aye, that I did, along with a number of others from the crew. We returned a few days ago,” Cal said.
“I thought ye haed died. I looked for ye, but ye were gone…” Kenna said, for a brief moment relieving the pain and panic of that night. Ruairi remained stiff and rigid. Laird Baird hadn’t taken his eyes off him.
“Cal told me everything that happened, and then I learned from Monsieur Picard of what ye told him when ye approached him. Now he expects a reward, of course,” Laird Baird said. He folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his gaze. “What hae ye done, Kenna? Why are ye back here?”
Kenna frowned and shot Ruairi a look of disbelief. “Da, are ye nae happy tae see me?”
“Oh, I’m happy that ye are alive, but I cannae believe ye would disobey a direct order. Ye were supposed tae marry Senor del Rio. It was nae a choice. Ye should hae stayed there with him.”
Ruairi watched as Kenna looked dumbstruck. She soon turned angry, though. “He was on his deathbed! He could barely breathe! I could no more marry him than I could marry a corpse.”
“That was nae yer decision tae make!” Laird Baird thundered, slamming his fist down on the desk. “I sent ye out there tae get married. Dae ye know how much work it took tae negotiate terms with him? Tae arrange for the wedding? Ye hae ruined everything, Kenna. And ye…” His attention turned to Ruairi. “I heard about ye, how ye took my lass and disparaged her future husband in front of her, offering her passage back tae the Highlands when her place was in Spain. And then ye lead her intae a storm and almost kill her. And then ye hae the gall tae pose as her husband! Dae ye know what that would dae tae her reputation? Then again, I suppose I should nae expect anything better from a man who would take tae the sea and shirk his duties. Oh, I know about ye, Calbraith, nae that ye are fit tae bear the name.”
Ruairi bore the insults with an implacable gaze. If he were at sea, he would have taken Laird Baird by the collar and throttled him, but he was in respectable society now, and he had to act the part of a noble.
“Da!” Kenna cried, speaking before Ruairi had a chance to. “Ye hae no right tae speak tae Ruairi that way! He haes saved my life countless times, and he didnae bring on the storm. He saved me from it, just as he protected me through France. Posing as my husband was the only way for him tae get safe passage back as well. Ye owe him a debt, if anything, and ye certainly owe him yer thanks. If it wasnae for him, I would be dead.”
“If it wasnae for him, ye would still be in Spain with yer intended husband,” Laird Baird spat back. “I certainly dinnae owe a debt, and I am nae gaeing tae pay anything.”
“Well, ye owe him something,” Kenna said, sticking out her chin, “as dae I. Da, I hae been thinking on this for a long time now, and I want ye tae offer my hand in marriage tae Ruairi Calbraith.”
The words rang around the chamber. Ruairi could barely believe she had said such a thing. His heart soared for a moment, before the sound of mocking laughter came from Laird Baird to dampen his spirits.
“Marriage? Oh, lass, I suppose I should nae be surprised that ye hae lost yer mind after being away from the civilized world for sae long.”
“I dinnae jest, Da. Ruairi haes proven himself tae me, and he hae won my heart with his valor and courage. I want tae be his wife.”
The laughter stopped abruptly when the laird realized that she was being serious. Ruairi swallowed a lump in his throat, wondering if Kenna had lost her mind. The laird leaned forward like a hawk, and his words had a spiteful tone.
“Valor? Courage?” He made virtues sound like sins. “Hae ye learned nothing from me? I thought ye were smarter than this, lass, but I see ye hae been spending tae much time with yer ma, developing crude ideas of romance. The only things that matter in this world are wealth and power, and ye cannae get that from a disgraced man posing as a captain. I hae worked hard tae give ye a good marriage, and ye dare tae come here and tell me that I should give ye tae this man? This man who turned his back on all his prospects and didnae even hae a ship of his own? Oh aye, I’m sure saving yer life endeared him tae ye, but if that’s yer logic, then ye might as well marry Cal. He almost died trying tae save ye. This man can offer me nothing. In fact, he should count himself lucky that I will let him leave here without arresting him for putting my daughter in danger! He is reckless, irresponsible, and unworthy of ye. It’s clear that ye still need me tae make a good choice for ye.”
“Ye are wrong, Da!” Kenna cried, desperately glanced between her father and Ruairi. “Ruairi pulled me away from the wreck. He fought wolves. He stopped me from getting stabbed because of a man who hates ye! He can offer me more than ye will ever know, and I won’t ever be happy if ye choose anyone else but him. He is the man I want tae spend the rest of my life with. He’s more of a man than Manuel del Rio or ye is every gaeing tae be!”
The words burst forth from her mouth in a hysterical frenzy. Laird Baird sighed and shook his head. He formed a steeple with his fingers and glanced at Cal. “Ye did tell me that she would be like this.” Then, he turned back to Kenna. “Kenna, I will forgive this outburst this time because ye hae been through a lot, and I am nae sympathetic tae the trials ye hae been through. But ye must understand that what ye hae experienced is nae life. Until ye regain yer senses, it’s only right that I tae responsibility for ye. Ruairi, thank ye for bringing my daughter back home, but I think ye hae overstayed yer welcome, and from what I understand, yer father is suffering desperately. It would be a shame if ye missed him because ye stayed here.”
Ruairi nodded, understanding that he wasn’t wanted. He turned on his heel and marched out of the door, only for Kenna to run after him. But this time, when she tugged at his sleeve, he wasn’t going to stay. It was hard to look in her eyes, as he hated to see the swirl of sorrow that plagued her.
“We both knew this day was coming,” he said. “Thank ye for the kind words. Thank ye for everything. I… In another life, things could hae been different,” he said. He so badly wanted to hold her one more time, to feel the sweetness of her kiss again, but with her father and Cal looking on, it was impossible.
“I wish I could come with ye,” Kenna said, the pain evident in her voice.
Life was so much simpler in the French wilderness. There they had only been beholden to each other, but now they were trapped by tradition and family. It broke his heart to leave, but staying would only prolong the inevitable, and it wouldn’t change anything.
“Goodbye, Kenna,” he said, and took one last lingering glance at her because he knew it was going to have to last forever.