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Kenna was grateful for a warm bath. It felt like an eternity since she had had a proper wash. The journey through France had left her rough and uncouth. She eagerly slipped out of the stolen clothes, and after the warm, soft water had caressed her skin, she was happy to put on an elegant dress. She brushed through her hair, and soon enough, she was feeling herself again. It was amazing what sitting in a castle could do to her disposition. Ruairi had shown humility in coming here. She knew it couldn’t have been easy for him to ask for help like this, especially when it required him invoking his birthright, which he had spent so long shunning. She secretly hoped that it would lead to him remaining in the Highlands. After all his efforts to keep her safe, she hoped that her father would look favorably upon him and consider him for her husband. There was nothing now that could douse the flames in her heart, and these last moments they spent together only affirmed that she did not want them to end. He had entered her life unexpectedly, but now she could not bear to live without him.

They were called for dinner and were greeted in the dining chamber by a great crowd that was eager to hear their stories, and other tales from Ruairi’s time at sea. Ruairi was visibly uncomfortable, but Kenna sat beside him, and eventually, the stories flowed naturally. They ate roasted vegetables and succulent meats. Kenna ate greedily, gorging herself on food as though she had never eaten before. A few people looked at her with surprise, for it was not ladylike to eat as she was eating, but she did not care. The people were entertained by Ruairi’s stories of life at sea, for they would never know the song of the ocean or the rhythm of the waves. Kenna had felt it, though, and she knew why Ruairi was called out there. But this was just as powerful; being a part of a clan, feeling the unity and loyalty of all those around them.

There was no end to the food, and eventually, Kenna felt fit to burst. People slipped away from the tables and disappeared. The fatigue from their travels caught up with Kenna, and she longed for bed. She whispered in Ruairi’s ears for him to escort her to her chambers. Laird McAteer begged them to stay for a while longer and regale them with more tales, but Ruairi said he could not deny a lady’s request. They walked through the castle silently until they reached her chambers. She looked at him more carefully, at this new face of his. His skin was smooth, and she was surprised that his features had a boyish quality to them now that he was shorn on his beard. He certainly looked handsome in these clothes as well, and she could truly believe that he was a laird with noble blood surging through his body. Candlelight flickered around them and filled the air with a cozy ambiance. She gazed into his eyes and longed for him to take her in his arms, to press her against the wall as he had done before, and kiss her.

But instead, he turned away and bid her goodnight.

Kenna tugged his sleeve, pulling him back.

“Come inside, Ruairi. I wish tae speak with ye,” she said. Once again, he refused, so she repeated her request, this time with more insistence. Her hooded eyes were alluring, and the flames danced in them. This time, he could not resist. They slipped into her chambers and closed the door behind them, shutting out the rest of the world.

“Yer stories truly pleased the crowd,” she began.

“Aye, everyone likes a good tale about a life they’ll never experience. A good story makes them feel as though they lived it themselves.”

“I’m sure they’ll all be dreaming of a life at sea taenight,” she said, moving gracefully towards the bed. She sighed as she let herself fall onto the mattress, and curled her legs underneath her. “Help yerself tae some wine,” she said. Ruairi moved to the table and poured two mugs. He handed one to her. As he did so, their fingers brushed against each other, and desire flared inside her. She patted the bed next to her. Ruairi perched awkwardly on the edge, leaning forward, his body tilted away from her.

“I want ye tae tell me a story,” she said in a low, sultry voice.

“Ye hae heard all the ones I hae tae offer,” Ruairi said.

Kenna shook her head slowly. “They were all of yer time at sea. I want tae hear one about before. I’ve been trying tae figure ye out, Ruairi, for ye are one of the most curious men I hae ever met. There is something that happened in yer past, something that drove ye away from home. I want tae know what it is. I think ye owe me that, at least, after all the time we hae spent taegether.”

“I cannae tell ye,” he gasped, and bowed his head.

“Ruairi, please,” she implored, sidling towards him. She set her mug on a bedside table and placed both her hands on his forearm. “I know ye dinnae feel the same way about me as I dae about ye. I know ye still intend tae sail back tae Spain as soon as ye hae returned home, and we are never gaeing tae see each other again. I just want tae know what made ye the man ye are. Ye are the most heroic man I hae ever met. Time and again ye hae saved me, and yet ye speak of yerself as though ye are worthless, as though ye are the villain. Please tell me, Ruairi. At least show me some mercy from this madness.”

Her words hung in the air for a long time as Ruairi pondered what he was going to say next. Kenna continued to look at him anxiously, wondering if she could break through this barrier he had erected around her heart. Her heart pitched as he started speaking, and from the tone of his voice, she knew that this was something important and private, something he would only ever tell someone who meant the world to him.

Someone he loved.

“It was years ago now. I was a boy, reckless and fierce, wanting tae be a man before I was ready. Da always cautioned me tae be patient. Maura always told me that I was tae hasty in what I did, but I wanted tae prove them wrong. I wanted tae prove that I could be a laird. I haed trained every day tae be the strongest in the clan, the fittest, the fastest, but because we lived in peaceful times, there was nae a way for me tae prove my prowess in battle.

“Then we learned that bandits were attacking innocent people. Da said we should wait tae speak tae those who hae been attacked, and learn more, but I saw my chance tae make a name for myself. I thought that if I found the bandits first and defeated them, then I would be hailed as a champion. But I didnae know it was a ruse by someone who wanted tae take over a rival clan. They sent a force tae meet the bandits as well, but instead, they encountered us. I was sae sure they were the enemy that I attacked without warning, striking without mercy. It was a slaughter.” His words grew heavy with sorrow the more he spoke.

“I killed a man, and I thought that made me a hero. I returned home, boasting of my triumph. We feasted and drank and sang songs. The next day, Da received word that the man I killed was the eldest son of a rival laird. They declared war on us, and the only way we escaped was when Maura gave herself as a bride tae the clan. She was the one who saved us. She was the true hero. I was the one who got us in trouble. Sae I’m nae hero. I’m just the man who took another man’s life. I killed him when I haed no reason tae, and that’s why I hae been holding back. How can I be a laird when I made such a mistake? Why should I get tae live when I took that chance away from John McGrory?”

Kenna listened quietly and nodded softly. She could hear the emotion trembling within Ruairi’s voice, but the way he opened his soul only deepened her affections for him.

“It must hae been sae hard for ye tae live with that on yer conscience.”

“Aye, sae now ye know why I cannae be the man ye think I am, why I cannae be laird. Nobody is gaeing tae follow a man they cannae respect.”

He motioned to rise, as though he had said everything that needed to be said. But Kenna wasn’t done with him. Once again, she tugged his sleeve, indicating that he should stay. She looked into his deep eyes, the eyes that held a storm of emotion, and she prayed that he could see the truth within her own soul.

“Ruairi, dinnae ye see? Ye are a man worthy of respect. Ye hae tamed the sea, and ye come tae the aid of a lass who asked ye for help. Ye won the respect of ye crew. I saw how loyal they were tae ye, and that was all because of ye. Yer name is known throughout the lands as an honorable sailor. Ye dinnae hae anything tae prove. Ye made a mistake, Ruairi. Ye were young. It happens tae all of us. Ye should nae condemn yerself tae a lifetime of misery just because ye killed a man. Ye hae punished yerself enough. Ye didnae act out of malice or cruelty. Ye thought ye were protecting people. That’s naething tae be ashamed of.”

Her words were laced with passion. “Dae ye truly think sae?” he asked.

She pressed her hand to his cheek. In that moment, she didn’t see the man that was older than her, the man who had been weathered by years at sea. She saw the scared boy who thought he had let everyone down. “Oh, Ruairi. Ye are the best man I hae ever known. If things were different, I would…I would take ye as my husband.”

“I cannae dae that,” he said. “Ye deserve more than me.” But his denial did not prick her arousal.

“Then taenight let’s just pretend that things are different. Let’s pretend that the lie is the truth,” she said, and slipped towards him, letting her words disappear into her breath. Before he had a chance to respond, she melted into him, yielding her body to him. Their lips met, and a world of delight surged between them, and Kenna swore that the candles burned a little more brightly as they radiated desire. His hands slipped around her waist, and she pulled him to the bed, laying on top of him, her hair cloaking them in its sweet softness. She clawed at his tunic, stripping him away from his clothes. His skin was scarred and rough, but she traversed every inch of it with her hands and lips. Heat rose between them. Something unfamiliar yet sweet twitched within her, and she wanted to embrace it, yet she could feel that Ruairi was holding something back.

Despite all his years at sea, he was still a gentleman, and he was not going to take her virtue. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t ease some of the tension that had been building up between them.