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After that night in the forest, things were slightly different between them. Kenna did not probe about his past, and he certainly did not volunteer any information. She rode along beside him, wondering if all men were this difficult to understand or if it was just unique to him. There were moments when her tender heart leaped at his touch, like when he made sure she was warm through the night. The way he handled the wolf had been impressive as well, and yet there was something that he was still holding back, some truth he was still keeping from her. After all they had been through together, she thought he would be able to open up to her and trust her with his secrets, but apparently, that wasn’t the case.

She gave up on any hope of finding a way into his heart.

It took another week for them to travel to the north of France. They rode the horses hard, barely stopping for rest. They paused at villages they passed to beg for coin. Kenna used what coin she had earned from singing to buy them meals, and she offered more songs so that they didn’t have to steal. Occasionally, people took pity on them and offered them shelter; otherwise, they slept in the wild. It was a lifestyle that Kenna was unaccustomed to, but that she had no trouble adjusting to. There was a freedom about it that she loved. There was no routine, and she had no demands of her. Ruairi was neither cruel nor stern, and she wished that marriage could be just like this.

“Did ye never entertain the thought of getting married?” she asked one day as they ambled along a path, giving the horses a break from galloping.

“Aye, years ago, before I left.”

“Did ye find it unappealing?”

“Actually I didnae. I liked the thought, and my sister gave a good impression of it. She and Kevan make a good team. But I… I decided that it wasnae for me.”

“Why?”

“I didnae want any lass tae be burdened with loving me, and if ye are gaeing tae ask me if my opinion haes changed, it haes nae. What lass would want me, a man with no ship, no crew, who spends all his time at sea?” He rode away, increasing his horse’s pace to avoid speaking about the matter any further, but it also meant that he did not hear Kenna’s reply.

“I would,” she said forlornly, and then sighed as she followed him. Her heart weighed heavily, and she wished that matters of the heart were easier to navigate. Ruairi was blind in so many ways, or perhaps it was she who was blind. He had been consistent in everything he had said so far, so why did she still entertain the notion of romance between them? Every time she told herself that she was going to give up, there was some tender moment or gesture that opened her heart again and made love swell up. She should have known better than to let herself become so vulnerable around him. And yet…and yet…she knew there was something more inside him. There was a conflict inside that was yet to be resolved. She could feel him pining for something, but he was always too afraid to make that final step.

For such a powerful, confident man, so much of who he was had been defined by fear. There was something in his past that still haunted him, and until he shared what that was with her, she would always be kept at arm’s length. At first, she had hoped that this secret would be revealed during their travels, but as they approached the north of France, it was clear that time was running out regarding this matter.

They arrived in a bustling, thriving town that was busier than any other place they had seen as they traveled around France. It was a shock to the senses, and she found herself sticking closely to Ruairi. In a place like this, she would have always been confident of having Cal to protect her, but now she had to depend on Ruairi. Somehow, these places didn’t seem as fun or interesting when she was aware of the danger they posed. Strangers gazed at her with lascivious looks; merchants greeted her with beckoning fingers, trying to tempt her into spending coin she did not have. She linked arms with Ruairi, depending on him now as much as she had depended on him to save her from the unforgiving storm.

First, they found a horse trader who, after some intense haggling with Ruairi, gave them a good amount of coin for the horses they had stolen. Kenna had to remind herself that getting home depending on these ill-gotten gains, and she just hoped that God would forgive her.

Ruairi also made inquiries after his friend, a man called Liam Harlow. The name sounded familiar, but Kenna couldn’t remember from where. She shrugged it off as they made their way to a bar called Sandrine’s, which overlooked the busy port. They pushed past loud sailors and buxom women. Coin flowed between hands, and the air was filled with the heavy smell of ale. Kenna tightened her grip on Ruairi’s arm, not daring to let go in a place like this.

Ruairi made his way to the bar and asked after Liam, and then was guided to a dark corner where a group of men was playing cards. They approached, and as soon as Liam saw them, he told his companions to leave. They grumbled and muttered, but a firm fist on the table was enough to send them scattering. Liam rose and reached out to Ruairi. They clasped hands. Liam wore a wide-brimmed hat and a dark cloak. His jaw was clouded with stubble, and one of his ears was deformed, the tip cut off. It was then that Kenna knew where she remembered him from, and there was a sinking feeling in her heart. She turned her gaze away and stood behind Ruairi, trying to hide in the shadows of the bar.

“I never thought I’d see the likes of ye in a place like this,” Liam said. “I thought ye were dedicated tae Spain. Hae the fortunes changed?”

“Aye, ye could say that. My ship was caught in a storm. I’m trying tae make it back tae Scotland. I hae some…precious cargo,” he said, gesturing to Kenna. He moved to present her, but Kenna moved with him.

“Are ye shy, lass?” Liam asked. “Let me get a good look at ye.” Ruairi moved away more quickly than she could react, and Liam had a good look at her. As soon as he did, his face twisted into a snarl. “Ye dare bring her tae me?” he thundered.

Ruairi looked shocked. “What are ye talking about, Liam? How dae ye know her?”

“Oh, I’m well acquainted with Lady Baird, and her father.” He spat as he said this. “It was nae sae long ago that I put in a bid for her hand. I promised her da riches beyond his wildest dreams, but apparently, that was nae enough. And he still owes me money for a job I did for him. He’s a crook, and I doubt she’s any better. Ruairi, I like ye, and I know ye, sae I can take ye back tae Scotland with me free of charge. But I am nae haeing her set foot upon my ship. If that bastard Baird wants his daughter back, then he can come and get her himself.”

Ruairi frowned. “What about if he could pay for her return?”

“There’s nothing he can pay me. I’m never daeing business with him again. And if ye know what’s best for ye, ye should leave her behind as well. That family is nothing but cheats,” he spat. Kenna swallowed her fear and timidly waited behind Ruairi, annoyed that her father’s reputation affected her. Ordinarily, she would have defended herself, but there was something about this place that made her feel vulnerable.

“I see,” Ruairi said. “Well, I cannae just leave her here. I said I would get her back tae Scotland, and I’m a man of my word.”

“Aye, that’s more than her father is. Good luck tae ye. By the way, ye said yer ship was lost in a storm?”

“Aye, a hell of a one it was.”

Liam nodded. “I heard some men say they came upon some survivors. Some of yer crew might hae made it. You could be in for a reunion when ye get back home.”

“Aye, perhaps,” Ruairi said. He led Kenna out of the bar with mixed emotions on his face.

“Dae ye think he’s right? Could some of them hae survived?”

“My men are hardy. They wouldnae give up easily,” Ruairi said, “but I’m sorry that didnae work. I didnae know ye haed history with Liam.”