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A Journey Back to the Highlands

Page 10

by Ava McArthur

7

Kenna couldn’t understand Ruairi. He was unlike any man she had ever known before. He was clearly adored by his crew. As she spent time with them, she learned how fiercely loyal they were. If he asked them to sail into hell, they would man the boat without question. And yet, when it came to his family, he went rigid with tension and clenched every part of his body. There was something he wasn’t willing to share with her, but what was it? What could have been so terrible that he would have left without any intention of returning? As she paced across the deck, she gnawed on her lower lip and thought about the name of the boat: Redemption. She knew that captains always chose the name of their ship, so why was Ruairi trying to redeem himself?

Unless he told her, it would likely remain a mystery, and he didn’t seem enthusiastic to share stories of his past. But Kenna wasn’t about to let the matter lie. She had seen how upset his sister had been, and she could only imagine what his parents would be feeling. She had never had the luxury of having a loving father, and for Ruairi to stay out here and push his family away seemed ungrateful and, frankly, rude. But there was something else about him as well, something that she couldn’t fully explain. When she was around him, something danced inside her, and her heart fluttered. She was drawn to him, even though he was maddening. It was almost the way she thought she should feel about a future husband, but Ruairi had made it plain that he was married to the sea.

Ah yes, the sea. She turned to its churning waves and leaned over the deck. It was cold and tempestuous, expansive and foamy. What comfort could the sea offer a man? It could not caress him at night, nor could it warm his bed. There was no supple flesh to sink into, nor could it bear a child. Why would a man like Ruairi choose the sea over a woman? He could so easily have had a better life. He could have been the laird of a clan, resting in his castle with a woman by his side and children surrounding him. It was almost as though he was doing penance for something, but what?

She sensed a presence beside her, a familiar one. Cal emerged from the shadows and stood beside her on the deck.

“It’s unbecoming of ye tae spend time with a man by yerself,” Cal said.

Kenna rolled her eyes. “He’s the captain of the ship. It’s nae like he’s gaeing tae steal me away and rob me of my virtue.”

“Even sae, ye are a lady, and ye must abide by the rules. I hae been patient with ye because I know the strain of the voyage haes taken its toll, but I cannae let ye lose yer reputation. If ye are truly against marrying Senor del Rio, then yer father is gaeing tae hae tae find ye another husband, and there will be few who will want a woman who haes been known tae cavort with a captain.”

“There was no cavorting gaeing on,” Kenna said. “And he’s nae just a captain.” She bit his lip, but wondered if that was true. If he shunned the life that had been given him, then was he really noble at all?

“Kenna.” Cal’s tone cut through her thoughts. It was as sharp as a sword. “Dae ye think any husband is gaeing tae let ye talk tae them that way? Ye are a spirited lass. That haes always been one of yer charms, but if ye are nae careful, yer tongue is gaeing tae get ye in trouble. Ye need tae learn how tae be a wife.”

“I know how tae be a wife just fine. And if Da makes the right choice, then there wilnae be any problem at all. I’ll find a man who likes my spirit,” she said in a huff, turning up her nose and returning to her cabin. She had had enough of speaking with difficult men that night.

Over the course of the voyage, Kenna found Ruairi a difficult man to pin down. Ever since they had their conversation, he had been avoiding her, and she found herself disappointed by this. Cal hovered around her as well, making sure that she didn’t do anything to besmirch her reputation. She continually rolled her eyes, but unfortunately, the ship was small enough that there were few places where she could sneak away and hide. She busied herself by helping the crew, and her soft hands developed calluses, things that had never been there before. She had a new appreciation for servants, who devoted their lives to doing all these hard tasks day in day out without any word of complaint, and she felt guilty for taking them for granted. Ruairi cut a lonely figure as he stood at the prow of the ship, looking out to his mistress, the sea. The longer this went on, the more she found herself getting frustrated with him. He had a life waiting for him, a family who loved him, and he was just going to ignore them.

It wasn’t right.

It wasn’t fair, and she was going to sort him out.

The crew had alerted her to the fact that they would be reaching land soon, and since Ruairi had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her once they disembarked from the boat, she had limited time to make him see sense. She marched up, trapping him on the prow of the boat. He looked at her with shock and annoyance, no doubt frustrated that he could not simply walk away. There was still a shred of nobility within him. Manners dictated that it was impolite to brashly leave a lady’s company, especially when she wanted an audience.

“Ruairi, we need tae talk,” she said.

“I hae nothing tae say about home or anything else,” he said.

“Well, I dae. I saw the pain in yer sister’s eyes when she came tae my da. Yer father is dying. Does that mean nothing tae ye? Like it or nae, ye hae a responsibility, and if ye are tae be laird, then ye cannae turn yer back on that.”

“I can, and I hae,” he said.

“But ye should nae! We hae been given a gift tae help rule the lands. It is our birthright tae manage our estates and the people in them tae make sure everyone haes a good life. It is nothing we can escape, and ye cannae simply run away from it and live yer life out here.”

“I can, and I hae,” he repeated. Kenna felt fire surge under her skin. Her cheeks became flushed, and she pressed her lips so tightly together that she thought they were going to bruise.

“Ruairi, ye are the laird. Yer rightful place is in yer estate with yer family. Ye should stay there. They miss ye.”

“My rightful place is where I say it is!” he thundered. His face twisted with fury, and he looked as frightful as the sea itself when a storm developed, but Kenna held her ground.

“Ye know nothing of what happened.”

“Then tell me!” she cried, but she was met with silence. Ruairi averted her gaze. “I dinnae know what happened tae drive ye out here, but whatever it is, it’s in the past. Ye cannae live yer life out here alone, Ruairi. Are ye gaeing tae sail the seas until ye die? What is yer life gaeing tae mean then if ye hae no family tae mourn ye? Dae ye think the sea is gaeing tae shed a tear?”

“There are more important things than family,” he said, but his words were hollow.

Kenna shook her head. “Family is all there is, and if ye dinnae stay with yers, ye are gaeing tae die out here. Dae ye know what I see when I look at ye?”

“Enlighten me,” Ruairi said, his words brittle and quiet, but his gaze shot daggers at her.

“I see a man who is ashamed of being himself. Ye are living a lie, Ruairi. This captain, it’s nae ye.” She looked up and down his giant frame, and sneered with derision, “These men dinnae know the real ye. I dinnae know why ye came out here, but I can see that ye hae been running from something. And ye will spend yer whole life running if ye are nae careful, but ye will just find that ye are far away from the man ye were supposed tae be.”

“And what about ye?” Ruairi shot back, glaring at her. Kenna knew she had touched a nerve. “Ye are running from yer destiny tae. I’m sure ye are gaeing tae find a way tae wriggle out of any marriage that is proposed for ye. I could see the fear in yer eyes as we walked up tae Senor del Rio’s estate, and the relief when ye saw his condition. Ye never wanted tae get married tae him.”