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Maura waited in her chambers for Kevan to return. When he did, he stripped off his clothes and prepared his blanket on the floor. Maura glared at him, every fiber of her body trembling with rage.

“I need tae talk with ye,” she said. “I met yer sister. Did she find ye?”

“She did,” Kevan sighed. “She spoke out of turn.”

“Out of turn? Kevan, I am yer wife, and ye are out there making a fool of me! Does honor mean nothing tae ye? What kind of man takes a mistress before he haes even touched his wife?”

Kevan swung around and glared at her. “I loved her long before ye came here,” he said, pointing a thick finger at her. Maura wasn’t about to have that. She met his fire with fire of her own. She had had just about enough of being treated like this, and she wasn’t going to have it continue for the rest of her life. She had to make a stand, now, before it was too late.

“Well, that doesnae matter now. We dinnae always get what we want. Dae ye think I want tae be here? Dae ye think I wanted tae marry ye? I made a sacrifice for the sake of peace and for my brother. But if ye really dinnae want tae be married tae me then we can gae tae yer uncle right now and tell him. We’ll end this, and ye can be with this other woman, and we’ll let war decide who lives and who dies.”

The words burned her throat. Kevan recoiled in shock, perhaps wondering if she would actually risk a war. A sneering smile appeared on his face.

“Did ye actually expect tae hae a nice and sweet marriage?” he mocked. “Yer brother killed my cousin—my best friend! What did ye expect? I haed my life just the way I liked it before all this happened, before ye came along. Why should I change for ye?”

Maura narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “Maybe ye should nae change for me, but ye should change for yer people. Ye are the laird, and sometimes that means sacrificing yer own happiness for that of yer clan, or are ye selfish enough tae plunge the land intae war because ye cannae even try? And hae ye given any thought tae the future? What about yer heir? Or are ye just gaeing tae hae a bastard with yer mistress and watch the clan plunge intae chaos because there is no legitimate heir? I’ve done everything I can tae protect us from war, but if ye arenae gaeing tae make any effort, then I might as well leave. But I can tell ye that if ye meet my kin on the battlefield, ye are gaeing tae join yer cousin. There will be nothing left of the Calbraith clan. My da will see tae that.”

Kevan grimaced, but there was something else in his eyes as she spoke as well, something like respect. However, he wasn’t about to give her any quarter. “I’m sleeping elsewhere taenight,” he said, and promptly stormed out of the room.

The fight had taken a lot out of Maura, so she sank into the bed and wrapped the blanket around her, wondering if she had made the right decision. Being demure hadn’t worked, but perhaps nothing would, not even being spirited. But at least this was being more true to herself, and she hoped that he could at least respect her. She was not going to be made a fool of, and if the clans were destined to go to war, then so be it. She had tried everything she could, but Kevan was making life impossible.

9

The following day Kevan greeted her as she awoke.

“I did some thinking overnight, and I realize that ye hae given more thought tae this than I hae. Being laird…it is new tae me. I hae never haed tae be responsible for lives other than my own before. John, he…he was always good at it. It came naturally tae him, but I find I am at a loss. However, there was some sense tae the things ye said, and perhaps I should be more willing tae get tae know ye. We’ll ride out and I’ll show ye some of the lands. There are parts that are quite beautiful,” he said.

Maura accepted his invitation, although she wasn’t yet sure of his sincerity. They rode out along the rocky paths to a creek, where a silver stream flowed. There were mossy areas, and the stones that loomed around them were smooth and grey, blocking out the rest of the world. As soon as they alighted from their horses, they went to drink from the stream. Then, she and Kevan settled on a comfortable area.

“I haed a long talk with Elise, and I realize that I hae been consumed with my own grief. I hae nae been fair tae ye. I should hae thanked ye for preventing the clans from gaeing tae war.”

Maura smiled and accepted his thanks, grateful that he was showing some kind of conciliation. “I know this is nae easy for ye, Kevan, but it is nae easy for me as well. I didnae dae this tae trap ye. I just wanted tae keep people safe. I could cope with being ignored and shunned, but I wilnae be humiliated. I know men hae their way of daeing things, but I wilnae tolerate ye haeing a mistress,” she said sharply, knowing that it was important to set her demands down so that there were no misunderstandings at all. Kevan nodded solemnly and looked to the ground.

“I wish John were here. He always knew what tae dae,” he said.

“Tell me about him,” Maura suggested.

“Where tae begin?” Kevan smiled wistfully. “He was the best of us. He was always willing tae help people, no matter what. He took after his da in that respect.”

“Wallace helped people?!” Maura said, and quickly apologized for how surprised she sounded, as she didn’t want to sound too offensive to her hosts.

“Aye,” Kevan smirked. “Wallace actually spent his youth traveling around the Highlands helping people, although he always extracted a favor from them in return, and used those favors tae make our clan intae what it is taeday. But John was never like that. He thought that helping people was the right thing tae dae no matter if anything was given in return. He…he haed big plans for the clan when it was his time tae take over. I’m nae blind; my uncle can be cruel and hard. He only cares about power and respect, but John…John was better. When we heard of bandits, John was the first one tae rise up and say that we haed tae investigate, but…well…” Kevan sighed, and Maura was touched by the way grief had settled on his face. “I daresay he would hae made a better husband for ye, and a better laird for everyone.”

There was more than a hint of self-pity in Kevan’s voice, and for the first time, Maura saw vulnerability in him. “That’s nae necessarily true,” she said softly. “I’m sure ye can be a good laird.”

“Oh, aye, when I hae already been selfish and betrayed my own wife.”

Maura was stung when she thought of the woman who had shared Kevan’s affections. It was impossible not to think about them together.

“Who is she?” Maura asked, unable to keep her voice from trembling. “Haes she truly won yer heart?”

“I thought she haed,” Kevan said, his words slow and deliberate. Birds chirped nearby, and the horses were still lapping up thirst-quenching water. “We haed our plans, and I thought our lives were gaeing tae be simple, but then this happened, and…I dinnae know. She haes changed. I thought that if I continued it, I would be keeping control of something in my life when everything else seems tae be spinning away, but I was filled with misgivings. Contrary tae what ye might think, I dinnae take my vows lightly. I know this means something. I just...I wanted tae hold on to my old life a wee while longer.”

Maura was relieved that whoever this woman was, she had not captured Kevan’s heart with true love.

“We cannae keep hold of the passage of time. It’s gaeing tae happen whether we like it or nae, sae we can either prepare for it and accept it, or we can struggle and continue tae be unhappy, and never more forward.” Maura echoed the words of her father. Kevan nodded and contemplated the words.

“I suppose I just feel lost. I was used tae thinking of my life gaeing in a certain way, and then suddenly it’s all changed, and I dinnae know what tae dae. I dinnae know if I can be as good a laird as John would hae been.”